Chapter Three #3
Hyunwoo shrugs. “Whatever you’re comfortable with. I only need the bottom half of your body anyway. Technically speaking.”
I curse at him under my breath. “You’re such a bastard.”
I drop my hands from my shirt and leave it on. That feels like a small but important boundary, keeping at least part of myself covered, maintaining some barrier between this and actual intimacy. I reach for the waistband of my sweatpants instead, then glance up.
Hyunwoo is watching me. His gaze steady, watching every movement of my hands. My skin feels hot under the attention. He’s seen me naked before. Thousands of times. There’s nothing new to see.
Except it’s very different getting undressed when Hyunwoo is watching me like this, with that focused, intent look on his face, knowing exactly what we’re about to do.
The context changes everything. The same body he’s glanced at a thousand times without interest is suddenly something he’s looking at with purpose, and I can feel that shift in the air between us.
I blow out a breath through my nose. I did agree to this. He’s keeping up his end of the deal. Time to pay up.
I set my jaw and push my sweatpants down my thighs.
The fabric catches on my knees and I have to kick them the rest of the way off my ankles, which is not the smooth, confident move I was going for, but whatever.
I sit back against the mattress in my boxers and my t-shirt, my bare legs stretched out in front of me, and for a second I almost convince myself this is fine.
This is just like being in the locker room. No big deal.
Then I look at Hyunwoo’s face and see the way his eyes drop to my thighs, and the locker room comparison falls apart completely.
I push my boxers down before I can think about it too hard.
Fast, like ripping off a bandage. I kick them off my ankles and sit back, my bare skin prickling in the cool air of the bedroom.
I feel exposed in a way I haven’t since my first time with a woman back in college.
My cock is soft between my thighs, my legs press together instinctively, an involuntary attempt to shield myself that I’m immediately annoyed at myself for doing.
I’m an omega sitting half-naked on an alpha’s bed, about to let him put a baby in me. The reality of that hits me all at once, and I have to actively stop myself from grabbing my sweatpants off the floor and bolting.
Hyunwoo steps forward, and I hold my hand up again.
“Wait.”
He stops. I can see the question forming on his face, the slight furrow between his brows, but I don’t give him time to ask it.
I sit up straighter on the edge of the mattress and then turn around, swinging my legs up onto the bed and repositioning myself so I’m facing the headboard instead of him.
My face is burning. I can feel the heat of it spreading down my neck and across my chest beneath my t-shirt, a fierce, prickling flush.
“I can’t look at your face when we do this,” I say roughly. I swallow hard and stare at the dark fabric of Hyunwoo’s pillows, at the sleek wooden headboard beyond them.
Hyunwoo doesn’t say anything for a second. I don’t turn around to check his expression because I genuinely cannot handle whatever I’d find there right now.
I get on all fours.
My hands press flat into the mattress, my knees sink into the expensive sheets, and I’m presenting my bare ass to my best friend of twenty-six years.
The position makes every muscle in my body go rigid with vulnerability.
I’ve never been in this position with anyone.
Not a single one of the women I’ve been with has ever seen me from this angle, because I’ve always been the one on top, always been the one doing the entering, always been in control of the situation.
This is the opposite of everything I know.
My spine feels exposed, the backs of my thighs feel exposed, and the cool bedroom air touching skin that has never been touched by anything but shower water and my own underwear makes me want to crawl out of my body entirely.
My heart is hammering so hard I can feel my pulse in my throat. I’m sure Hyunwoo can hear it. Hell, with his alpha senses, he can probably smell the adrenaline pouring off me.
I hold my breath as the mattress dips behind me.
Hyunwoo’s weight shifts the surface, tilting me slightly backward toward him.
I can feel the warmth radiating off his body even though he hasn’t touched me yet.
He’s close enough that I can hear him breathing, steady and controlled the way that mine absolutely is not.
His hands land on my hips.
I jolt. His palms are warm and broad, fingers curving around the bones of my hips, the contact sends an electric shock through my entire nervous system that locks every muscle from my shoulders to my calves. My breath catches in my chest and stays there, trapped.
“Can’t you just—” My voice comes out tight.
I clear my throat and try again. “Can’t you just get yourself off separately and push it in?
Like, does it have to be full penetration?
” I’m grasping at straws and I know it, but the words tumble out anyway.
“Maybe we could use a turkey baster or something.”
Hyunwoo makes a considering sound behind me, like he’s actually giving the turkey baster suggestion genuine thought, which I appreciate even though I know the answer is going to be no.
“I don’t think that would work,” he says.
His voice is closer than I expected, right behind me and slightly above.
“I read that sperm dies really quickly once it’s exposed to air.
Within minutes. So the best way to ensure pregnancy is depositing it directly inside, as deep as possible.
” He pauses. “Natural insemination has the highest success rate.”
I cringe. The phrase “natural insemination” coming out of Hyunwoo’s mouth in reference to what he’s about to do to me is something I will never, ever recover from.
“This is so fucked,” I groan, dropping my head between my arms and pressing my forehead against the mattress.
“I can’t believe this is my life right now.
” I squeeze my eyes shut, take one more breath, and then lift my head just enough to speak clearly.
“Fine. Whatever. Just do it fast. Get in, finish, get out.”
Hyunwoo’s hands shift from my hips. His fingers spread, moving inward, and then his thumbs hook against the curve of my ass and pull my cheeks apart.
Cool air hits my exposed hole and my face flames.
Nobody has ever looked at me there. Nobody has ever seen that part of me.
The knowledge that Hyunwoo is right behind me, staring directly at the most private part of my body with the full intention of putting his cock in it, makes me want to dissolve into the mattress and cease to exist.
Then I feel his finger press against my hole. Just a gentle, exploratory press against the tight muscle, testing it, and I yelp like I’ve been branded with a hot iron. My hips jerk forward involuntarily, pulling away from the contact, and I whip my head around to glare at him over my shoulder.
“Don’t touch me there with your fingers!”
Hyunwoo’s expression is surprisingly measured, his brows drawn together in concentration rather than amusement for once. “Don’t I have to prepare you first or something? Everything I’ve read says—”
“No,” I cut him off, my voice sharp. “Just put it in. I don’t want to be fingered by my best guy friend, that’s a line too far.”
He hesitates behind me. I can feel his uncertainty. Then his finger presses against the pucker again, a light, testing push, and I feel the muscle resist stubbornly under the pressure.
“It feels too tight,” he says, genuine doubt in his voice now. “And it’s completely dry. Aren’t you supposed to be producing slick?”
The humiliation and frustration crash together in my chest, I grit my teeth.
“I do produce slick,” I snap, staring fixedly at the headboard.
“I’m just not fucking aroused right now.
This isn’t exactly a romantic scenario, Hyunwoo.
My body needs stimulation to respond, it’ll get wet once you put it in.
” I pause, then add with significantly less confidence, “I think. Probably. Hopefully.”
Hyunwoo sounds unconvinced. “I think if you don’t stretch first, it’s going to hurt. Possibly a lot. I’ve read about this, and omega or not, the muscle needs to be relaxed and—”
“I don’t care,” I cut him off again, my patience fraying. “It’s just the once. I don’t want to drag this out any longer than it needs to be, so just put it in and get it over with. The faster we start, the faster we finish.”
A long sigh from behind me. I can hear the resignation, the sound of Hyunwoo recognizing that my stubbornness has hit the point where no amount of logic or reason is going to budge it. He knows me well enough to know when that wall goes up.
“Fine,” he says. “Have it your way. But you don’t get to complain about it later.”
I hear the rustle of fabric as he pushes his own pants down, the soft sound of expensive material sliding over skin.
Then the unmistakable sound of skin on skin as he wraps his hand around himself and starts stroking, working himself to full hardness.
His breathing shifts beside me, going slightly heavier.
I stare at the headboard with intense focus.
I think about my training schedule for tomorrow.
I think about the grocery list I need to make.
I think about that level 65 boss with the mutant spawns that I still haven’t beaten and how if I just timed the grenade launcher better on the second phase I could probably—
Hyunwoo leans over me and spits directly onto my hole.
The warm, wet sensation lands right on my exposed skin and I whip my head around, my eyes wide with outrage. “What the fuck was that?!”