Chapter 5
Zaylee Cooper
“You really finna do a nigga dirty, huh?” Mikael gave me the dirtiest glare as we sat across from each other.
“I’m not. I’m going to be there I promise but I… can’t. I have so much I need to do.” I rambled on while tears steadily fell down my cheeks and my vision blurred. I tried to focus on Mikael’s handsome face; it always brought me comfort.
Right now, not so much. The rage had his handsome face bawled up as his light brown eyes burned with hate.
His eyes were like lasers, making my skin burn under his intense gaze.
This wasn’t us; this wasn’t how Mikale treated me.
The love he has for me always outshined any emotion.
He would never stare at me with disgust and hatred.
He’d always treated me like I was a precious jewel he never wanted to lose.
Today was the total opposite, he was acting like I wasn’t shit to him.
From the first time I laid eyes on Mikael I knew he was it for me.
At the time I wasn’t sure how because we were polar opposites.
He barely came to high school and him and his brother where known as some of the up and coming young nigga in the streets.
While I was the nerdy, shy girl who had been on honor roll my entire school career.
I never thought Mikael noticed me whenever I did see him, He was surrounded by all the fast girls.
I never stood a chance, at least that's what I thought. I went to a basketball game with some of my cousins. I felt so outta place as all of them were in different niggas faces while I stood off to the side awkwardly. I got annoyed with my cousin’s whorish asses, so I wanted to leave.
Of course, none of them were ready to go and they started clowning me about being a nerd and being a virgin.
The fact that I was almost seventeen and hadn’t fucked yet was the worst thing to my cousin.
Mikael stepped in and said he thought that I was dope as fuck for not tryna be like all the other girls.
When I tell you I almost passed out because I was so excited he was standing up for me.
He ended up offering to walk me home and although I was nervous, I refused to pass on this once in a lifetime opportunity.
Mikael made me feel so comfortable our conversation flowed easily.
Once we got to my aunties house Mikael asked me for my number and I was so happy.
I basically floated on air for the rest of the night.
A week of texting before we went on our first official date.
After that he asked me to be his girl. We were locked in from there on.
Six months later I gave him my virginity, and he promised me the world and I believed him.
People loved to say what we had was puppy love or we were too young to know what real love is.
Those people couldn’t possibly feel the way I felt about Mikael because I didn’t believe I could love another in the way that I love him.
Nothing was supposed to be able to tear us apart.
We’d promised to work through all our problems. Yet here Mikael was trying to throw away everything we’d been working to build in the last two years.
I might have been young, but what I did learn about men, they loved double standards.
I loved Mikael but there had been times when we first got together, he’d hurt me.
I wasn’t fucking him, so he had to get his nut, those were his words.
It made sense to me when he said it. I was willing to deal with his terms because I valued him so much.
I didn’t agree with how he felt but I was willing to put my own feelings to the side for the greater good of our relationship.
Now that it was his turn to put his feelings to the side for me he couldn’t.
All he cared about was how he was feeling but he wasn’t going to be the one who had to deal with the consequences of our actions.
He was going to be locked up for the next ten years, without a care in the world.
While I struggled to raise a baby on my own.
I loved Mikael with everything in me. I’d shown him repeatedly how deep my love was for him.
I was even willing to sit down and do this time with him.
I wasn’t leaving him to die alone in jail like most females my age would.
I was going to make a life for us so when he got out, he could stay out of the streets.
I’ve always wanted to be a teacher, and he knew that I wanted to get my master’s degree in English.
Having a baby on my hip while I did that didn’t seem smart to me. Mikael wasn’t trying to hear me though.
“I’m not doing anything. We can have more babies when you get out,” I tried to reason with him. I attempted to slide my hand into his hand, but he snatched his hand from my reach.
A sinister chuckle left his lips as he looked off to the side. “You sound dumb as fuck. You pregnant with my seed right now and you wanna kill my seed but you wanna have more when I get out? That shit don’t even make sense.”
“If I have this baby now, I’m gonna be raising this baby alone for the next ten years. I won’t be able to go to school. All my dreams won’t mean anything because I'll have to focus on this baby.” I wiped the tears from my face with the back of my arm. I was getting frustrated with Mikael.
“So, so you sayin’ you don’t trust me as ya nigga to take care of y’all?”
“Mikael, you’re gonna be in jail how are you going to take care of us?”
“I got some money put up. Just don’t kill my seed Honey,” He knew calling me by the nickname he’d given me was a weakness of mine.
“My dreams babeee.” I whined, feeling myself being torn in two directions.
“Bitch fuck ya dreams!” Mikael screamed, scaring the hell out of me and causing me to jump in my seat.
“When you was layin’ on ya fuckin’ back takin’ this dick you made ya fuckin’ decision when it came to carryin’ my seed.
Fuck them fake ass tears when it comes to my seed.
You screamin’ you gone be a single mom like my brother and my mama won’t help ya stupid ass. ”
My mouth dropped open forming an “o” shape at Mikael’s harsh words.
He’d never talked to me like this before.
Of course, we’d argue but he never called me out of my name or anything close to what he was saying to me right now.
I swear he had to be high, his mama barely like me and I highly doubted she would be of any help when it came down to it, and Marlo was just as wild if not wilder than Mikael.
I would be an idiot to think I could depend on him to help me raise a baby that wasn’t his.
“Wooow, tell me how you really feel.” I replied smartly, still in shock over how he was handling me.
“Honey, you know I loved the fuck outta. You are supposed to be my wife. When I say you my rib, I mean that. This why this shit fuckin’ with me so bad. All the time we talked about havin’ babies…”
“When we were older, you were out of the streets and I was done with school,” I cut him off and reminded him about what we said when we should have kids.
“That small shit don’t matter, we here now.”
I blew out a deep breath and threw my head back staring at the ceiling. I felt more tears trying to come but I was tired of crying. Once I got my emotions under control I looked back at Mikael’s fiery brown eyes. “I can’t.” I sadly said as defeat settled on his handsome face…
“Zaylee are you okay?” My boyfriend Lamelle asked, shaking my shoulder. It took me a second to come back to reality.
“Ugh, I’m sorry.” I groaned as I took off my glasses. I wiped them clean from the tears that had really been falling.
“I’m sure those tears were over your dad.
I can’t imagine losing one of my parents.
” Lamelle clueless said thinking my tears were because of my dad passing.
He had no idea I was reliving the painful memories of my past. He placed his hand over my hand trying to be reassuring as he drove us into Beaumont City limits.
“Yeah, something like that.” I gave him a small smile.
It was kind of fucked up but I honestly wasn’t that sad over my dad’s passing.
It was mind blowing how people liked to pretend a person was a saint once they passed away.
My daddy Nate Cooper was a hot ass mess.
I don’t know how my mama stayed with him for so long.
I guess that was love for you but not the kind of love I wanted.
My daddy used to beat and cheat on my mama for sport.
I remember I despised my daddy growing up.
Half the time he barely acknowledged my existence and when he did, he never had anything nice to say.
I was either Black ass girl or darkie. He acted like I didn’t get my skin complexion from his Black ass.
My mama was high yellow as it came, he had to know he was the reason for me being so dark.
He also loved teasing me about my thick coarse hair.
He never missed a day to tell me no nigga was gonna want my Black ass.
When I say I loathe that man I did, if it wasn’t for my mama always being there to build me back up after her tore me down, I probably wouldn’t have any self-confidence.
I do think my dad played a part in me being so quiet and shy.
I never wanted anyone’s attention on me because of how my dad treated me when I did catch his attention.
I figured if I blended into the background everyone would leave me alone.