Chapter 34
Solana Thomas
Silence could be one of the most uncomfortable noises to exist. When Marlo went missing the day before all kinds of wild scenarios ran through my head.
Mason and Mallory were worried their daddy wasn’t coming back like their mom.
They spent half of the night worrying, adding into my own concerns.
Mikael was ready for war looking for Marlo.
It took a few hours for him to resurface and of all the things I thought could have happened to him, jail was the furthest thing from my mind.
Since I had the girls, I couldn’t be the one to bail him out.
Mikael went and did that. I had been waiting anxiously for them to get back to the office.
However, once they got here Mikael didn’t say a word to me.
He was so cold and distant towards me that I questioned if I did something wrong.
Mikael barely looked my way and when he did, I felt nothing but anger in his gaze.
To the point it made me uncomfortable. Whatever happened to Marlo had Mikael on edge.
The entire office was tense when they both came back.
The office ran in a tense silence. Mikael finally said a full sentence and smiled once the girls got out of school.
Mason, Mallory and even Sunshyne were ecstatic to see Marlo.
Seeing the three of them embrace warmed my heart.
But when Marlo spoke to me gone were his smiles and happiness all I got was a cold, detached tone from him.
He told me he needed to ride home with me because his car was still at his old house.
The entire car Marlo only spoke to the girls.
When he got home, he spent much of his time with the girls.
I mean that was to be expected but damn can I get a thank you or a fuck you would even work.
I didn’t even know what the hell happened and I was honestly too scared to ask him.
Marlo took a shower, got dressed then left back out.
I’m assuming Mikael came and got him because he still didn’t have his car.
Leaving me alone to let my thoughts. I figured whatever Marlo had gone through had to be serious and I was trying to be understanding of that and give him time to process whatever he was going through.
I didn’t do shit to him, yet I felt like he was punishing me for whatever happened to him.
As much as I’ve grown to love Marlo, I was starting to feel like everything was one sided with us.
When stuff was good between us, we were good, but when things got hard Marlo shut me out.
Me being pregnant didn’t help either. I was feeling like I was in another situation like Sonni.
In the back of my head Marlo was nothing like Sonni but his actions were saying differently.
I felt alone, and it was making it hard to be happy about this baby.
For a brief second, I found joy in knowing I was bringing a life into this world made what I thought is real love.
We both agreed the timing of me being pregnant wasn’t the best but there wasn’t anything we could do besides embrace my pregnancy.
Now it felt like he was leaving me to find for myself.
I was sitting on the couch contemplating if I should confront Marlo and make him talk to me or if I was better off just staying quiet.
At first, I was gonna let him come to me when he was ready to talk to me but the longer I sat waiting for him the madder I got.
Then it hit me, Marlo had me fucked up to the highest degree.
I was going out of my way to make sure he was good and he couldn’t give me the same energy back.
I was not only carrying his fucking baby but was looking after his kids while he did what the fuck ever.
For all I knew he was laid up somewhere with Fallon.
By the time it got to one in the morning I was heated.
He couldn’t give me the common decency of a phone call to let me know everything was okay.
The second I heard my front door open I was up on my feet racing to the front door.
“Where have you been?!” I exclaimed seeing Marlo clearly drunk and high as fuck. His bloodshot red eyes on top of the pungent odor of alcohol pouring from his pours.
“Man, gone with that shit.” Marlo grunted stumbling around me.
“Nah, nigga you got me fucked all the way up.” I angrily said, running behind him blocking him from going up the stairs.
“I’m sick of you giving me your funky ass to kiss.
I’m not your fucking doormat. I’m trying to be understanding because I know what you’re dealing with, but you got me fucked up if you think I’m finna be your doormat. ”
Marlo let out an aggravated breath. He used his left hand to message his temple.
“I ain’t trying to argue with you Solana.
I got shit going on and I don’t want to take it out on you.
I’m angry as fuck right now at the fucking world and I can’t control how I’m feeling Just give me some time and I’ll explain everything to you. ”
“You know if you had said all that a couple of days ago, I might have listened but honestly you can shove that tired ass explanation up your ass.”
“Yup, you got it Solana.” Marlo chuckled, mumbling something under his breath. “I’m finna go lay down a nigga wet as fuck.” He tried to walk past me again, but I shoved him back.
I glared at him evilly as I watched him stumble back into the wall. I wanted to laugh at him, but he had me pissed. “This shit ain’t working for me Marlo. This ain’t what I signed up for. We go-”
“What the fuck did you sign up for Solana?” Marlo raged, regaining his balance.
In two big steps he closed the distance between us.
“Cause last time I checked I never asked you to be here for shit.” He returned my menacing glare, his jaw clenching.
“I don’t need shit from you or anybody else around this bitch.
I got me and mine,” he continued to raise his voice.
The anger coming from Marlo scared me a little and his intense gaze intimidated me some, but not enough for me to calm down.
Just like I never asked him for his help, but he gave it to me, I was doing the same for him.
I needed the help and so does he. He wanted to be on his high horse right now and I was at the point of not giving a fuck anymore.
I always overlooked red flags when niggas showed them.
Marlo was turning out to be a walking red flag.
I refused to deal with this shit again. I would rather be alone with my kids than deal with another nigga who’d take me through hell again.
“Fuck it then. I’m not finna keep helping a nigga that don’t want my help. I’ll move around and let you handle you and yours.”
“Shit, you ain’t said nothing but a word. Bitches come a dime a dozen.” He grunted coldly as he stepped back from me. We both stared at each other silently. Anger, hate, mistrust, anguish, and sadness were all in Marlo’s eyes.
“Niggas aren’t that hard to come by either.” I replied bitterly as my heart hammered in my chest.
“If that’s what you want to do. Knock ya self out. Just don’t let them niggas slut you out too bad.”
The part of me that loved Marlo unconditionally wanted to try to fix everything that was going on in his life.
However, it wasn’t my place to fight for him when he wouldn’t fight for me.
It hurt my feelings seeing how easy it was for Marlo to dismiss me from his life.
He said that like he didn’t give a damn if I was here or not and that hurt.
I got that Marlo and I weren’t officially together, but it was understood that we both loved each other.
There was no fight in him for me and that told me everything I needed to know about Marlo and me.
I thought he might have been the one for me but maybe I was wrong.
I sighed in defeat as I took one more look at Marlo then turned around head up the steps.
I had nothing else to say to Marlo, he’d won.
I was no longer going to be a problem to him.
______________________
A Few Days Later
“So, you’re my daddy’s big brother?” Sunshyne asked for the millionth time from her seat across the table as she peered at Niko like he was a superstar.
Niko had been blowing me up on Facebook since we’d ran back into each other.
All of Sonni’s brothers wanted to see Sunshyne.
I was shocked to see how eager they all were to be a part of her life.
Since everything had been so hectic and they were always on the go themselves, it was hard for us to pinpoint a day where we’d be able to meet up with them.
Since my argument with Marlo, I hadn’t said two words to him, and I fell back from helping him.
I still did for Mason and Mallory as long as it wasn’t me going out of my way.
He said he had everything, so I let him.
Marlo probably thought I was being funny today when I said I couldn’t take the girls with me after work, but I wasn’t.
I didn’t want to bring Mason and Mallory with me while I met up with Niko.
I loved them girls, but they talked too much.
It was going to be hard enough trying to keep Sunshyne from running her mouth.
Marlo basically waved me off when I told him that and I didn’t bother trying to get him to talk to me.
I didn't have the emotional capacity to deal with his bullshit. I felt horrible because I was still contemplating getting an abortion. Yeah, I was further but not far enough for that to not be an option. I already wasn’t sold on the idea of carrying this baby to begin with and seeing how things were going, I really felt like my best option was to end this pregnancy.
With the way Marlo was switching up on me I wouldn’t be surprised if he completely changed his tune.
I wasn’t trying to bring a baby into this already unstable situation.