REQUIEM (The Falling Star Trilogy #3)

1. Chapter 1

Chapter one

JUDE GRAVES

Ugh, fuck. Something is wrong.

I’m so hot, and my shirt is damp and sticking to me like I’ve been dragged through a goddamn swamp and left to dry. My hands won’t stop shaking, rattling like my body is trying to tear itself apart from the inside out.

No dose.

My tongue drags across the roof of my uncomfortably dry mouth. How long has it been? Time is looping. I don’t—how long…

I don’t know if I’ve slept or passed out or died for a few minutes and come back. Has it finally happened?

Has my heart finally given up? Have I been…freed?

For a moment, I don’t open my eyes. I lie there breathing through my nose. My head is heavy, and my muscles twitch in small, erratic jerks that don’t really even feel like mine. My leg aches. And under it all, growing worse by the second…

Withdrawal. Fuck. Fuck Alexei. That stupid motherfucker.

My stomach rolls, nausea rising fast, and when I shift, there’s a sudden metallic clink.

The sound startles me, and my eyes snap open.

Warm brown planks stretch across the ceiling above me, completely unfamiliar.

I blink once, waiting for it to flicker back to cracked concrete and those buzzing fluorescent fucking lights, but it doesn’t.

A flash of white rips across my vision, and I wince. I blink hard, but it doesn’t fully disappear. It just…layers together.

Wood. Concrete. Past. Present.

I don’t know which one I’m in.

I push myself up, my stomach dropping as I look down and see steel cuffs circling my wrists, connected to chains that are bolted to the wall on either side of me. I’m chained to a bed? When did this happen? There’s a bathroom over to my right that I can reach, thankfully.

“Jesus—”

My voice comes out shredded, like I've been screaming. I don't remember screaming. Hell, I don't really remember anything. For a split second, the room flickers, the wood bleeding into gray. Damp air fills my lungs, thick with mildew and the coppery scent of blood soaked into concrete.

I taste blood.

I’m back here. I thrash against the chains with a blind and desperate need to get the fuck out before he starts hurting me again.

Don’t. Please stay the fuck away from me—

“Calm down.”

I freeze. That’s not his voice. Or Erik’s. Or even Aiden’s.

Wait…Aiden’s dead, right?

Yes, I shot the motherfucker.

My head jerks, scanning, and that’s when I see a man sitting beside the bed. My entire body jolts. I didn’t hear him come in. Didn’t even feel him there.

How long has he been watching me? Why is he watching me?

He leans forward, elbows on his knees, posture casual, but his vivid blue eyes are focused. Black hair falls across his forehead, slightly disheveled, but everything else about him is precise.

My lip curls on instinct like a wild animal, my muscles coiling despite the restraints, like I might lunge even though I can’t. “You—”

The word catches, and memory slams into me.

Music pounds through my skull, lights fracturing into shards. A ballroom, bodies moving—

A face. “Song request?”

Honey brown eyes. But her hair is different.

No. You can’t be here. Leave. I fucking hate you.

My vision flickers, her hair shifting, color bleeding in and out. I don’t recognize her…but I do. I whip my head sideways a couple of times, trying to clear it.

My hands are around her throat.

I flinch like I’ve been shocked again, fingers spasming against the mattress. Her eyes are wide with terror, looking at me like I’m someone she doesn’t recognize, either.

I’m killing her.

I’m fucking killing her.

“Stop—” The word slips out under my breath. There’s shouting behind me. A voice cutting through all of the screaming inside and outside of me.

Micah.

There’s a gun in my hand. I’m pointing it at him. What the fuck—

Then I see the man beside the bed, and the crack of the gunshot splits everything apart.

My gaze drops to my leg, breath catching at the thick bandages wrapped below my knee. The fabric is stiff with dried blood, and a deep ache pulses beneath it.

The bullet. Then the needle he jammed into me.

A dark flicker catches at the edge of my vision, and it shifts in and out of the wall. My head snaps toward it, but it’s nothing. I suck in a breath, and my eyes cut back to him, a feral anger rising fast.

“You drugged me,” I rasp.

One corner of his mouth twitches. “Sedated,” he corrects calmly. “Everyone else seems to be drugging you, so I decided to join in on the fun.”

My hands curl into fists as I pull against the restraints again. “Get these off.”

He doesn’t move. “My name is Rafe Vaughan.”

My chest rises too fast, breath shallow. “I don’t give a fuck what your name is.” Another tremor rolls through me, my fingers twitching uncontrollably. It’s getting worse.

He notices. “You’re withdrawing.”

My jaw clenches. “Where the hell am I?”

“Safe.”

A hollow laugh slips out. But it doesn’t stop. It turns almost hysterical, rising and breaking when I pull on the restraints again. “Yeah,” I mutter. “Feels real safe.”

He leans back slightly. “You and Adriana were extracted from my event.”

Adriana.

My head turns toward him. Wait. I recognize him. From before. “What? Where is she?”

“Upstairs.”

My stomach twists. “She—” My voice cracks.

“Is safe upstairs,” he says quietly.

That’s not who I meant. My throat tightens. “I’m not talking about Adriana.”

Rafe watches me more carefully now. “You had a difficult evening.”

I stare at him. “You shot me, motherfucker.”

“Yes.”

“And chained me to a bed.”

“For your safety. Also, you can access the bathroom just through there.” He points to it. “Though mobility to this side of the room is limited, I’m afraid.”

That almost makes me laugh again. I force my focus to the ceiling, something that doesn’t move or change. My skin crawls.

“I need heroin.”

“No.” Rafe doesn’t flinch. “You’re still in Russia. Just not where you were before. Alexei isn’t here. He doesn’t know where you are, right now. Which is good.”

I shake my head. Russia, but not there—

Her panicked and horrified face. Hands clawing at me while I deny her any goddamn oxygen.

No. Stop.

I suck in a sharp breath, shaking my head. But the image remains, and a small sob slips out.

Rafe’s eyes narrow. “What’s the last thing you remember?”

I blink at him. “W—What?”

“The last clear memory. Before you woke up here.”

My jaw tightens. “I remember you fucking shooting me. That clear enough for you?”

“That’s one. Before that.”

I stare at him, trying to decide if I can kill him or not. I suppose I really can’t since I’m chained. At least he doesn’t seem keen on hurting me.

A flash of her choking under my hands brings a wild pain lancing through my skull. My eyes squeeze shut.

Stop.

“—Jude.”

My eyes snap open, noting that the bastard is still there. My pulse is out of control. “I need something,” I say, words tumbling out. “I need heroin. I can’t—please.”

He studies me, then stands slowly. “I can give you something to help with the opioid withdrawal,” he says. “Suboxone. It’s helped a friend of yours. Micah.”

Everything in me stills, and my eyes lock onto his. “Micah? He’s—he’s here?”

“Yes,” Rafe says. “Also upstairs. Seems like he and Adriana don't like each other too much.”

Relief slams into me, but it quickly tangles with everything else.

“Then let me see him,” I push. “Or Adriana. I don’t care. Just—someone. I need to see someone I know.”

“No.”

My chest tightens, rage flaring. “What the fuck do you mean no?”

He watches me for a long second. Then his gaze flicks toward the upper corner of the room. I follow it, noticing a small black camera. He gives the slightest nod.

The door unlocks behind him, and my entire body tenses like a terrified animal as it opens.

Adriana steps in carefully. She’s pale, shaken, but alive. “Hey, Jude.” She stops a few feet inside, arms wrapped tightly around herself. “I’m okay,” she says softly.

My vision blurs. “I—” I can’t finish when I see movement behind her.

Micah steps into view, also alive.

I shake my head, a broken whimper escaping me.

“You’re good,” Micah says, calmly raising his hands. “You’re out. You’re safe.”

I frantically glance between them. “I didn’t—” My voice cracks. “I didn’t hurt you, did I? Did I really hurt…” I swallow, still unable to say her fucking name.

Adriana’s expression falters for a second. It’s enough to destroy me. I did. I did fucking choke her. I’m not imagining that…

“Jude,” Micah cuts in, firm. “Look at me.”

I do. Barely holding it together. I feel so foreign inside my own body.

“You’re with us now. So is she, okay?”

My hands start shaking again, harder now. It's withdrawal and fear and fucking shame consuming me.

Rafe steps slightly into my line of sight again. “That’s all you get for now,” he says evenly.

Micah opens the door, and Adriana hesitates before backing toward it.

“No, wait.” Panic surges, and I scramble forward, wincing at my injured leg. “Don’t—”

They slip through the door, leaving me alone with Rafe again.

“The medication will help with the opioids,” he continues without pause. “If you don’t take it, you’ll just have to detox on your own.”

“No,” I breathe, shaking my head. “No, no, no—fuck that. You don’t understand.”

“I understand perfectly.”

I narrow my eyes. “I’m not staying in this fucking room—” My voice breaks. “I’m not doing this alone.”

Something flickers across Rafe’s expression as he turns toward the door. “You’re not alone anymore, Jude.”

My stomach clenches at that. “Hey. Where the fuck are you going?”

He doesn’t answer.

“Don’t leave!” I shout, fighting against the restraints. “Please.”

The door closes, and the lock clicks.

They’re alive. They’re okay.

So why do I still want to die?

For a second, I just stare at the door, chest heaving. Then everything snaps. I yank forward with a scream, ripping against the restraints. These fucking restraints. A flash of white tears across my vision.

Her face. I want to see her, too.

No. No I don’t.

He’ll hurt me.