38. Chapter 38 #2
I stand there longer than I should, just staring at it. They all came here for me, and they might ultimately pay the price.
With a deep breath, I push the door open. The room inside is quieter than Emma’s had been. The monitor beside him ticks steadily, a rhythm that feels weirdly calm for the fact that only hours ago, he was bleeding out in the back of a car.
And when my gaze lands on him, I see that he is awake. His eyes are open, and for a second, we just look at each other without either of us moving. Then his mouth twitches faintly.
“You look like absolute shit,” he rasps.
A breath leaves me that turns halfway from a laugh into a sob, and I have to brace a hand against the bed just to keep myself standing. “You’re one to talk,” I manage, my voice wrecked in a way I don’t even try to hide anymore.
His gaze lingers on me now, studying. “You okay?” he asks.
The question should be simple, but it isn’t. So I just shake my head once. “No,” I admit quietly.
His head tilts, eyes softening. “It’s okay.”
My throat tightens hard, because I have so much to say to him. So much to thank him for.
Heather is asleep in the chair beside him, curled forward like her body finally surrendered to exhaustion after refusing it for too long. Her hand still hovers close enough to his that they could touch if either of them moved an inch.
Micah’s eyes drift past me briefly, toward the hallway, like he already knows what I’m not saying. “Emma?” he asks.
I swallow once before answering. “She made it through surgery,” I say quietly. “She’s sedated. Stable.”
The fucking word tastes sour.
Micah’s eyes close for a brief moment. “Good,” he breathes. “Heather told me she shot someone?”
I hesitate. The memory comes anyway without permission. “Yes,” I admit. The moment I realized what had happened…I wanted to cry. She’s not a violent person. It’s against her very nature. She was so scared, but chose to go against everything she is to save my life.
He exhales through his nose. “She’ll hate that,” he murmurs.
I scrub a hand down my face. “She’s gonna hate a lot of things when she wakes up.”
That makes him look at me again. “You blame yourself,” he says.
My silence answers too easily.
Micah shifts slightly, immediately regretting it when pain flashes across his expression, but he forces it down anyway like he refuses to let it interrupt him. “Don’t do that,” he says more firmly now. “You can’t. It will eat you alive forever.”
I let out a shaky breath. “Micah—”
“No.” His voice cuts through it. “Listen to me.”
And I do, because I have always listened to my best friend.
“No matter what happens here, you have to promise me that Alexei won’t take you.”
My brows knit in confusion. “Alexei’s dead, Micah.”
He doesn’t hesitate. “It doesn’t mean he still won’t take you, Jude.”
His words land, and suddenly, I’m crying again. Devastation and guilt and shame and rage crash into me. “I’ll never let that happen,” I manage.
Frustration flickers through his expression. It’s almost as if he doesn’t really believe me. “Promise me,” he says simply.
I swallow. “Yeah.”
Silence settles between us again after that, and I finally sit down properly, pulling another chair closer until I’m right beside him. My hands don’t stop shaking when I set them near his.
“I thought you were going to die,” I admit quietly.
A gentle smile pulls at his lips. “I’m apparently harder to kill than I look,” he mutters.
“I thought I lost her, too.” My chest tightens. “I still might.”
Micah nods faintly. “She fought so hard to get to you. When you were suffering, or killing, or even sleeping beside someone who wasn’t her…she fought. Trust me, she’ll open her eyes again.”
I glance down at my hands. “I don’t think anything will truly wash away the evil these hands have caused…” I trail off. “Micah…I don’t know how she’ll love me after this.”
He sighs, glancing briefly at Heather’s sleeping face before returning to me. “We’re all changed from this,” he whispers. “Once she wakes up, she will immediately search for you. I have no doubt in my mind that she still loves you with everything she has.”
I bite the inside of my cheek to keep from crying again. “I hope you’re right, man. I’m so sorry for everything.”
“It’s okay.”
“No, it’s not. Vlad’s still out there. He shot Emma and I…I couldn’t do anything.”
He takes my hand in his, and I’m startled at its warmth. “You and Heather saved Emma from bleeding out.”
I nod, unable to find words. Guilt, shame, and devastation are swirling inside my chest again so fast that I feel like I could vomit. These goddamn emotions are going to kill me before anything else.
Micah watches me for a moment longer, then lets his eyes drift heavier, exhaustion finally pulling at him again. “Jude,” he says quietly.
“Yeah?”
He pauses, seemingly mulling over what he’s about to say. “Don’t disappear on her. Or me.”
My breath catches hard enough that it aches inside my chest. This is the second time he’s alluding to me losing the battle with my mind. With the trauma and the darkness. He’s scared for me. “I told you, I won’t.”
***
The hallway outside the recovery wing feels different now. Officers stand along the corridor, observing me closer than before. Observing all of us closer than before.
Levi is already at the center of it. He glances toward me briefly before turning his attention fully to Adela and Rafe as we walk into their room.
Rafe is upright, his shoulder bandaged and stiff beneath hospital wrapping.
There’s a calmness to him that doesn’t match what he’s survived.
Makes sense, really, being the unhinged motherfucker he is.
Adela stands close beside him, resting a hand on his good shoulder.
Levi studies them both. “I’ll need everyone’s statements,” he says simply.
Rafe exhales. “We’ll cooperate,” he says. “Fully. Whatever jurisdiction this falls under.”
Adela agrees quickly.
Levi nods once. “From the beginning would be great. Of your involvement.”
Rafe answers first, briefly outlining what he remembers. Adela fills in gaps where he pauses, her sarcasm entirely absent for once. Both are very professional in their tone now. As they continue to discuss, my gaze finds the window behind Adela.
I hated opening up and telling Levi everything about me.
About Nolan, Micah, Adriana, and Alexei.
Especially in front of Finnick and Kami, who thankfully never had to see the abuse Micah and I had to endure up close.
They both stiffened when I told them about the extent of the sexual abuse with Adriana and…
Henrik. I could barely make it through that one without crying.
But Kami sat beside me the entire time, hand rubbing my back.
She’s always cared so much about me. The woman looks like a wild child but is one of the sweetest people in the world.
Levi listened the entire time, taking notes and asking questions.
“Oh, and this is important,” Adela says sharply, pulling me back from my thoughts.
Levi’s gaze flicks to her. “Go on.”
Adela exhales through her nose, as if preparing to give a speech.
“There’s proof that Jude was operating under duress.
Not just implied pressure. Actual coercion.
Orders, containment, and psychological control.
Everything that he says happened to him happened.
The only evidence directly tying Jude to violence are the videos and photos Alexei released.
He tried releasing it all to stage a narrative and turn the world against him. ”
Her eyes shift briefly toward me.
I snort, though I don’t miss how much she’s covering for me. The fact that they were able to delete everything else I did is a fucking miracle. Otherwise, I’d likely be in prison right now. “The world is already against me.”
“Public opinion can always be swayed,” she adds, her blue gaze confident. “This was framed deliberately, made to look like he was acting on his own accord.”
Levi’s eyes sharpen. “Evidence exists?” he asks. “Where?”
Rafe nods. “We have what we could retrieve from a flash drive from one of our…” he pauses for a moment, his icy eyes darting to me. “Friends.”
I shift my weight, crossing my arms.
“Who is this friend?” Levi asks.
“Adriana Britton,” I reply quickly. “She’s dead.”
There’s a heavy moment of silence that drops between us all. Rafe and Adela were beside me when Adriana drove her car into the ones chasing us. She saved us. Allowed enough time for us to call an ambulance for Micah. Otherwise…
He wouldn’t be here anymore.
“Ah,” Levi nods, catching the emotional weight. “Do you have this flash drive, then?”
“Yes. It was Nolan Marshall’s. He is also dead, but killed by Alexei directly.” Adela folds her arms slowly. “Enough to show intent to manipulate perception,” she corrects. “Not just what he was made to do. What he wanted people to think he chose.”
Levi absorbs that without interruption, his expression unchanged, but his attention now fully locked onto the implications rather than the individuals in front of him. “Whether or not he’s guilty, I am to defend him. We’ll go over everything as we proceed to the States,” he says finally.
Across the corridor, a door opens briefly and closes again, and I catch a glimpse of staff rushing around deeper in the hospital. Emma is still behind those walls, and I’m already desperate to get back to her. Everything I am doing here is still orbiting her painful fucking absence.
Levi steps back slightly, already shifting the conversation forward.
“You will all remain reachable,” he says.
“No one leaves this facility without authorization.” He glances behind his shoulder toward the hall, lowering his voice.
“They’ve been told to contain you here for right now.
A lot happened tonight, including death on a wide scale.
And especially since foreign nationals are involved… they need to investigate.”
Rafe gives a short nod, accepting it without resistance. Adela does the same, though her eyes flick briefly toward me.
“That’s fine,” I mutter.
“I appreciate your friends helping with translation,” Levi says, turning toward the door. “Get some rest. I’ll return shortly.”
After he leaves, Adela immediately faces me. “I know how we’re going to get you out of this.”