Chapter 19
LANDON - NOW
Why the fuck aren’t they home yet? I pace the kitchen. Alice said Cody had arrived, then the next thing I knew, the call was dead. And now neither of them is answering their phone.
I open up the LifeFinder app, which Cody jokingly calls the “stalker app,” and search for him.
It says he’s here. Did he leave his phone behind? Thinking back, I distinctly remember seeing it in his hand when he left the apartment.
I look at the app again, and click his icon for more information.
He’s been here for fifteen minutes. I could see a couple minutes in the garage, but fifteen?
I’m about to call him again when the elevator door sounds. Alice and Cody step into the entryway.
Something happened. Something…kinky. I can see it in Alice’s flushed cheeks, and Cody’s satisfied smile.
“Hey, Sprechter.” He gestures to Alice. “I brought her home, safe and sound.”
I’ll deal with him later. “Alice. Are you okay?”
“Yeah. Brayden’s a dick. It’s over with him.”
“What happened?”
Some of the smug satisfaction leaves Cody’s brown eyes as he frowns. “Asshole had his hand raised, like he was going to hit her, when I drove up.”
My heart turns to stone in my chest. Thunder fills my head. But I have to keep calm. “Alice. Has he ever hit you before?”
“No.” Her blue eyes are wide. “Never.”
“You can tell us if he did,” Cody says. “We won’t judge you or anything.”
“I promise.” She looks between the two of us. “I’d tell you if he had. I have no reason to defend him anymore.”
I nod. It doesn’t mean I won’t take the first opportunity I have to punch that guy in the face, but at least I don’t have to arrange his death.
What the fuck is wrong with me? I’m supposed to be one of the good guys. That means no killing, nothing shady.
But I’d leave every single one of my morals behind if it means protecting Alice.
“If you’re done with your inquisition,” Alice says with a little smile, “I think I’ll take a shower and go to bed.”
It isn’t late, but no doubt she’s exhausted.
And depending on what Cody got up to with her, she might feel embarrassed, or need to think about things.
I don’t think he fucked her—I’d like to think he wouldn’t have—but everything he’s been doing lately tells me I don’t know my friend like I thought I did.
As soon as Alice is down the hall and we can hear her shower running, I look Cody directly in the eye.
He scoffs—he knows what I’m thinking—that he’s a piece of shit for touching her, for seducing her. He already has an argument ready, I bet.
To throw him off, I say, “I want to take her back to the foothills. Past Farnton.”
The surprise on Cody’s face is worth the switch in subject. “Past Farnton? Baldwin said that she couldn’t have gone farther than five miles.”
“What if she could have? What if she was running or walking longer than she thought?”
“No way.” He shakes his head and walks past me toward the kitchen.
His t-shirt is tucked weirdly into his jeans.
Anger overcomes me, and I have to say something. “Did you make her give you head?”
“The fuck?” He looks back at me over his shoulder. “I didn’t make her do anything—what kind of fucked-up rapist do you think I am?”
I shouldn’t have hit him so hard with that accusation, but anger has me saying shit I don’t mean. Rather than make things worse, I keep my mouth closed.
He laughs. “Are you mad that I made a move? Or are you mad that I made a move without you?”
“Fuck you, Wells.” But his words have me thinking. Which is it? Alice is in a vulnerable place. She’s still technically married—even if that marriage is a sham created by her so-called church. So I’m mad he made a move.
And I’m mad he did it without me, because fuck if I don’t want her, too.
He opens the fridge and pulls out a beer. “Do I need your approval for everything, or are we partners who trust each other?”
There’s no trust where Alice is concerned.
“I would do anything for her,” I say.
“So would I. So when she was sitting there, getting turned on at the thought of messing around with us, I took her needs into account. And I talked her through getting off. You should smell my car now, Sprechter. So fucking sweet, like coconut candy.”
Fury rushes through my veins, dulled only by how fucking hard my dick is at the thought of Alice getting off in front of Cody.
“Here’s the problem,” I say.
He raises his eyebrows and takes a long, slow sip of his beer. “Yeah? I’m waiting.”
“The problem is that she’s traumatized, and she’s special. And I want something that lasts with her, but you don’t know what the fuck that looks like anymore. That’s why I’m mad, dickhead.”
I don’t wait for him to respond, but I catch a glimpse of his surprised face before I spin around and leave the kitchen. Let him think on that for a while.
We both have a lot to think about.
ALICE - NOW
Every time I close my eyes, I see Brayden’s face twisted with anger, his hand up, palm open.
It wouldn’t have been a light slap, though; it would’ve been the kind of hit to knock me over.
He’s never done that before.
Then again, I’ve never talked back to him like that before.
Is this what he’s always like when he doesn’t get his way?
I just wish I could get his face out of my head. It’s terrifying.
Maybe Landon’s still up. I throw on a light sweatshirt because my personal rule is no bras after ten p.m. and I don’t want to terrify him with my boobs loose in a t-shirt.
I sneak out of my room, hoping I don’t run into Cody. I’m not sure how to face him now. He acted like everything was cool, like what we did in the car isn’t a big deal.
Maybe it isn’t to him, but it’s a big freaking deal to me. And I’m not ready to see him yet.
The hallway is empty, so I go straight to Landon’s door and knock quietly. I hold my breath, waiting to see if he’ll answer. This is probably wrong. I shouldn’t be knocking on a man’s bedroom door at night.
I turn around, grateful he hasn’t answered. He’s probably asleep.
“Alice?” His voice comes through the door. “Come in.”
Crap. It’s not like I can run back to my room and pretend I didn’t knock. He knows it’s me.
My face is hot as I turn the handle and open his door. His room is dark.
“Hey, sorry,” I whisper. “I shouldn’t have knocked. You were sleeping. We can talk tomorrow.”
“Or we can talk now.” His voice is rough with sleep. He’s sitting up, his sheets bunched around his waist.
He isn’t wearing a shirt.
My breath catches in my throat. He’s so beautiful, I can’t look away.
“Wonderland?” He gestures me forward. “Come in. There’s something I wanted to ask you anyway, and I didn’t get a chance before you went to bed.”
“Um…” I hesitate before coming inside. I leave the door open for propriety’s sake.
Although it’s hard to make any claims propriety after what I did with Cody in his car.
Ugh, I’m a mess.
“You can sit down.” Landon nods at the foot of the bed.
This is kind of wrong, but I’m also thrilled to be here, in Landon’s secret sanctuary.
It bears his faint spicy scent. I’d love to snoop around, look at the couple of photos that are on his dresser.
I wonder if Nessa is in one of them, and after hearing so much about her from the guys Before, I hope she is. She sounded really special.
I climb onto his bed and cross my legs, facing him. “What did you want to ask me?”
Even though it’s dark, I can see his gray eyes in the light pollution coming through his curtains.
“I know our last trip to the foothills went badly, but I’d like to take you up one more time.”
My immediate, gut reaction is no. The panic I felt, and waking up without knowing where I was—it was horrible. For all I knew, I was back in Abe’s cabin with that shackle around my ankle.
I don’t want to put myself through those memories again. Better to just stay far, far away.
As if he can see my gut reaction, Landon gives me a soft smile. “Just think about it, all right? I think we could learn more, maybe figure out who kidnapped you, and put them away so you don’t have to worry about him anymore.”
I nod. “I can think about it, I guess.” And still say no.
“Now, what did you want to talk about?” he asks gently.
I can’t even remember anymore. What had me so desperate in my own room, I had to wake up Landon?
Oh, right. Brayden.
“Nothing in particular. I can’t sleep. I keep thinking about tonight, and how Brayden behaved.
” I shake my head, trying to clear his angry face from my brain.
Tears prick my eyes. I blink them away, hoping Landon doesn’t notice.
“He’s never done that before, and I know you don’t believe me, but it’s true. ”
“I believe you, Alice.” He runs a hand over his head. “Fuck. Come here, angel, please? You look like you could use a hug, and I need to give you one.”
I could really use a hug, but he doesn’t have a shirt on. It doesn’t mean anything, but my libido is obviously doing its own side quests tonight, so I hesitate.
“It’s okay if you don’t want a hug.” He lets his arms fall. “I won’t push you, Alice.”
And that, right there—his acceptance of my unspoken uncertainty—makes me want to hug him even more than before.
I lean forward, and he does, too. His bare arms come around me.
I wish I wasn’t wearing my sweatshirt, that I could feel more of his skin against mine.
But that’s my short-circuiting libido throwing herself haphazardly into sexy situations, and she should be ignored.
His tone is tentative, with his arms still wrapped around me. “Do you want to stay here tonight, next to me?”
“Yeah,” I whisper.
At the same time, he rushes to add, “It’ll be just like the other night on the couch. No funny business, I promise.”
Right. Because he wouldn’t want that with me.
I can’t sleep in my sweatshirt, so I pull back. “I need to take this off, but yeah. I’d like to sleep here. Thanks.”
Impure, my mind whispers as Landon shifts to the middle of the bed to make room for me, and I lie down next to him in my t-shirt and sleep shorts.
I tell the voice in my head to shut up. Landon doesn’t have those kinds of intentions toward me. He’s made that clear, time and time again.
LANDON - NOW
This morning promises to be a good one, with a woman in my arms. Her soft breast fills my hand, her nipple responding as I lightly pinch.
I flex my hips, pressing my hard-on to the delicious curves of her ass.
How easy it would be to roll her over, yank down her shorts, and blanket her from behind.
I’d thrust into her waiting pussy and listen to her moan.
I open my eyes as I start to turn her over. Wait.
This isn’t a hook-up. It’s Alice.
I let go of her breast and freeze at her soft moan of disappointment. Is she awake?
No, her breathing is deep and even.
I ease back even though I want more.
But a sleeping woman can’t consent. And if she were awake, there’s no way she’d consent.
Maybe she would. She consented to messing around with Cody.
Yeah, but he’s rushing things like a fucking teenager. I have more patience, and I want to take care of her, not confuse her or push her too far, too fast.
Slowly, so as not to disturb her, I ease to the other side of the bed and get up.
She turns on her back, her arm flung out to the place I was sleeping. Fuck, she’s so goddamn gorgeous, she defies natural law. Her tits are stunning, and now I know from accidental experience how good one of them feels against my palm.
It’s more than that, though. The curve of her lips, the slope of her eyelashes over her pale cheeks. Her heart-shaped face. The waves in her hair framing her forehead. The tiny dimple on her cheek that deepens when she smiles.
My cock is so hard, it’s painful. I grip the base.
Don’t jerk off here, you pervert.
I walk into the bathroom, start to close the door. I stop closing it when I catch another glimpse of Alice through the gap.
Here’s good.
I slide down my boxer briefs and grab my cock again, feeling the feverish heat of it against my palm.
It won’t take much. My balls are already tight and aching. I’m ready to blow.
One stroke. A second, then a third.
With my eyes on Alice, I come harder than I can ever remember coming before.
And then I start jerking off again. Because once isn’t enough. It never will be, with her.