Chapter 21
Jasper
Arlo is practically bouncing in his seat as we eat up the miles between Silverpine and his hometown.
“You okay, baby boy?”
“Huh?” Arlo whips his head toward me. “Yeah, I’m alright. Excited. Nervous.”
His eyes shoot back to the windshield. He’s staring out of it like if he just looks hard enough, maybe he’ll be able to see his old home and Salem and Nora by default.
When we passed the home visit, he wanted to leave right then. As soon as Maryanne pulled out of the driveway, he started bouncing on his toes, his recovery be damned, ready to follow her right back to Tennessee.
I understand how he feels. The closer we get, the more excited I become. Not only to meet the kids, but to see Arlo interact with them. There’s still so much I need to learn about him without all the secrets, and I’m thrilled to be able to watch him be Big Brother Arlo.
“Are you tired?” I ask, glancing at him. He didn’t sleep worth a shit last night, tossing and turning and tossing some more.
I truly wonder if it was a bit of a trauma response. I wouldn’t even blame him if it was. The last time he was set to do this, his entire life collapsed around him.
“No, not really.” He pauses. “Well, maybe a little.”
We’re getting close, and when the GPS tells us to turn ahead, Arlo inhales sharply.
Leaving the main highway, we turn onto a country road filled with potholes. The houses are run-down, with porches hanging on by threads, tarps stretched across roofs, and junk cars and just plain junk piled up around the outsides.
I take it in, eyes scanning my surroundings as we make our way further into town. Well, if you can even call it that.
“This is how you grew up?” I ask softly, my heart cracking. It’s a miracle he turned out the way he did.
“Worse,” he mumbles. “If you can imagine.”
I’m not sure I can, and I’m not sure I want to.
“It’s not all like this,” Arlo says, continuing like it’s nothing. “Not long before I left, they started remodeling some of the houses, trying to fix stuff up. Nora’s foster home is nice. Nothing like your house, of course. But nicer than the one I grew up in.”
I grip the steering wheel until my knuckles go bloodless. “Do you want to see your parents while we’re here?”
Arlo barks out a laugh. “Fuck no. I have nothing for them. And besides, it’s just Mom. Melvin isn’t a parent to me. He made that perfectly clear. Not that I’d want him as a dad anyway.”
“And your bio dad?” I ask, desperate for any information about Arlo I can learn.
He shrugs. “Piece of shit, I think. He was never around, probably for the best. One shitty parent fucked me up enough. I didn’t need two of them doing it.”
I shake my head, though Arlo isn’t looking at me. “You’re not fucked up, baby boy.”
“I’m not not fucked up, though.”
“You’ve been through a lot, sure, and you’ve had to overcome a lot, but you’re not fucked up. Not really.” I reach across the truck, picking his hand up in mine, and bring his knuckles to my lips for a kiss.
He turns to me with a shy grin, his mismatched eyes smiling just as brightly as his lips. So fucking beautiful.
When I lower his hand, I don’t give it back to him. Instead, I hold it in my lap, twining our fingers together.
“I hope the kids like me.”
Arlo laughs. “It would be impossible not to like you. Plus, Salem already does. Getting a traumatized teen to like you is…” He blows out a breath. “A damn miracle, honestly. But you just have that kind of personality.”
My eyebrows draw together. “And what kind of personality is that?”
“Magnetic,” Arlo says without hesitation.
“People flock to you. Austin, Luca. Me.” I glance at him in time to see his cheeks pink up.
“There’s something about you that just feels…
safe. You feel safe. Salem said you’re a straight shooter, and that if everyone was more honest like you, the world would be a better place. ”
I frown. “I hate that one person telling him the truth one time set that precedent.”
“Yeah.” Arlo sighs. “You’re just… something else. It’s hard to explain.”
I rub my thumb over the back of his hand. “You feel safe with me, baby boy?”
“More than I ever have with anyone else.”
My heart thrums heavily at those words. “I love you.”
“I love you too.” Sighing, Arlo shifts, turning to face me. “Do you think I should make Salem quit cussing?”
A smile blooms on my lips. “He’s got a bit of a potty mouth, huh?”
Arlo groans. “He really does. And I don’t know what to do about it. Anything? The thing is, I don’t really care. Is that bad? Does that mean I’m not responsible enough to take care of them?”
I shake my head, turning into a parking lot when the GPS instructs me to.
“No. I think there are bigger fish to fry than a few curse words. I’m far more concerned with if people are good humans than if they cuss.
Although, maybe you should set a rule that he can’t cuss around Nora.
Or at school. Time and place, you know?”
When I shut the truck off and glance at Arlo, his eyes are glued to the DCS building, his throat bobbing with a heavy swallow. “I’m nervous.”
I squeeze his hand, then shift to face him more fully. “You’ve got this, baby boy. We’ve got this. So we don’t really know what we’re doing. Who cares? Not a parent alive knows what they’re doing at first. And hey, we can’t be any worse than our own parents.”
Arlo snaps his head in my direction. “Yeah… You’ve never talked about your parents.”
“That’s because my mom blames me for Sarah’s death—rightfully so—and stopped speaking to me the day I turned eighteen.”
Arlo’s jaw falls open. “But that’s not your fault.”
“It was my fault.” I kiss his knuckles again. “But this isn’t about me. It’s about you and those siblings of yours. We’ll figure it out. People figure it out. It’s what they do. Plus, we have Deb and Art, and even Hunter’s mom, I’m sure. We’re not in short supply of people to help us navigate.”
“Us,” Arlo breathes, his eyes a little faraway and dreamy.
“Yes, baby boy. Us. It’s us from here on out.” He nods. “Alright, then. Let’s not keep them waiting.”
With a deep breath, Arlo steels his shoulders. “Let’s do it.”
We climb down from the truck, and I slip my hand into his, leading him toward the nondescript brick building. He’s inhaling deep breaths, something I noticed Salem doing on the phone with me when I talked to him about Arlo.
When we make it to the door, and I start to pull it open, Arlo tugs his hand from mine. “Wait! Wait, wait, wait.”
“Baby boy.” I turn on my heel, facing him. “What’s wrong?”
“What if Nora doesn’t even remember me? It’s been so long since I’ve seen her or even really gotten to talk to her. What if… What if she doesn’t want to come with me?”
I don’t really have an answer for that. I can’t really see it happening, but who fucking knows? All I know for sure is that Salem, at the very least, is expecting his big brother. “That’s probably not going to happen, Arlo. But you won’t know unless we go in.”
He breathes in through pursed lips. “Okay. You’re right. Let’s go.”
As I push open the door, his fingers tighten on mine to the point of numbness.
When the door closes behind us, a blur of pink and white flashes past me, and then Arlo’s hand is being ripped from mine as a little girl wraps her arms around him and nearly tackles him to the ground as she screams his name at the top of her lungs.
“Nora,” Arlo breathes, then he’s hugging her back, squeezing her so hard that she grunts.
Face twisting in a grimace, his eyes fall closed as he drops his head, pressing his face into her pin-straight brown hair.
His expression tells me more than anything how hard being separated from her has been. My baby boy is not built to be away from his family. Any doubt I had that we could do this gets swept away as Nora starts crying, her back rising and falling rapidly as she sobs in her big brother’s arms.
“It’s okay,” he whispers, his voice choked and rough. “I’m here now.”
There are so many things we don’t know. So many things we have to figure out. My throat tightens. But right now, with Arlo cradling his baby sister, with the love between them palpable? I know we’ll be okay.
Love is everything. The rest can be figured out.
“Arlo. Jasper.” Maryanne walks into the entryway, a small smile on her face, dragging my attention from Arlo and Nora. “I’m so glad you could make it today. A coworker of mine, William, is on his way here with Salem.”
Nora still hasn’t pulled herself away from Arlo, but he lifts his head, then holds a hand out to shake Maryanne’s. After he finishes, I shake her hand too. “Thank you for working with us. I know everything was a little… rough there for a while.”
Maryanne shakes her head. “No need to thank me. Family placement is always our main goal. I was just happy we were able to get everything taken care of so quickly.” She waves a hand. “If you all want to follow me, we just have a few things we can sign while waiting for Salem to arrive.”
“Nora,” Arlo says, carefully working Nora free of his hold. She lets him, then tilts her head back to look at him. “I’d like to introduce you to someone.”
He nods toward me, and I steel myself. She turns to face me, tears coating her lashes and the same brilliant blue eyes that Arlo has. Well, at least one of his eyes.
“This is Jasper. He’s my boyfriend.”
My heart flutters like I’m a teenager and not a fully grown man. I drop to my knees in front of Nora and hold my hand out. She glances at it, then back at me. “It’s really nice to meet you, Nora.”
She nods once, then slips her tiny hand into mine with surprising strength, pumping her arm twice before letting her hand fall away.
Her lips quirk up into a little grin that looks so much like Arlo’s shit-eating one that it nearly stops my heart. “It’s nice to meet you too.”
Is it possible to love someone the second you meet them?
Her eyebrows rise, an incredulous look spreading across her face. “Your hair is very gray. How old are you?”
“Nora,” Arlo hisses.