Chapter 28
Arlo
“Are you all gonna be okay without me?”
I blink at Jasper over the rim of my coffee cup. “We’re gonna have to be.”
True to his word, Jasper took off work to help me get settled with the kids. They’ve been in school for almost a week now, and even though it’s been… an adjustment, for Salem more than anyone, I think we’re good.
Ready or not, here we come anyway.
“First day I’ve worked since you moved in with me.” Jasper grins. “I get to spend the whole shift thinking about how you’re in my bed, just waiting for me to come home.”
I snort. “You really think I’m just gonna be sitting around waitin’ on my big, strong man to come home?”
Jasper sticks his bottom lip out, fluttering his lashes at me. I shouldn’t have taught that man how to pout. It really is unbecoming. And also hot. And it works too well, because I always want to give him what he wants. “No, I guess I don’t really think that.”
I’ll miss him, but I need to start getting ready to go back to work myself. I’ve been off long enough. I’m not convinced it’s the right move considering how Salem has been acting, but again, ready or not.
Speaking of, Salem walks into the kitchen, his hair covering his face and his backpack slung over his shoulder.
Jasper smiles. “Good morning.”
Nodding, Salem slumps against the counter. “Mornin’.”
“Do you want breakfast?” I ask, pushing to my feet and rounding the counter.
“No.”
Nora bounds into the kitchen, her hair pulled up in pigtails and her backpack hanging loosely at her side. “I’m gonna eat breakfast at school. My friend Myra wants me to. She said we could sit together.”
“That’s great, Nor,” Jasper says, grabbing his lunchbox and opening it.
Nora goes on and on the entire time he’s packing it, talking about what she’s gonna do at school. How she can’t wait to play on the monkey bars and how she’s gonna prove some little jackass—my words, not hers—wrong because she can make it across the monkey bars without stopping or falling.
Jasper oohs and ahhs at the right moments, his face animated and engaged. Fuck, I love him so goddamn much.
I’m listening, but I’m mostly focusing on Salem. The more Nora talks, and the more excited Jasper acts, the more annoyed he seems to become.
And when Jasper shoots her a blinding smile and tells her he can’t wait to hear all about her day tomorrow when he gets home from work, Salem scoffs.
“Hey,” I say, low enough that I don’t draw the attention of the other two. “What’s going on with you?”
Salem’s eyes dart to mine. “Me?”
“Yes.” I nod. “You. What’s going on?”
He shakes his head. “Nothing.”
“You don’t have to lie to me, Salem. I’ve known you your entire life. I know when you’re not telling me the truth.”
Rolling his eyes, he scoffs again. “Sure. Until you left us.”
My heart clenches. “When I left, Mom was doing good and had been for a while. I wouldn’t have if I’d known.”
Salem slumps a little, his shoulders curling inward. “Doesn’t matter. I’m gonna go outside and wait for the bus.”
I set my coffee mug down on the counter. “What, why?”
The only response I get is a shrug.
“Talk to me, kid.” I take a step toward him, and he takes a step back. “What’s wrong?”
He lets out a frustrated groan. “I said nothing.”
Frowning, I take another step. “You don’t want me to drive you?”
“I want you to leave me the fuck alone,” Salem nearly shouts.
I stand in shock, my jaw falling open. For a second, everyone falls silent as Salem and I stare at each other.
“You shouldn’t talk to your brother that way, Salem,” Jasper says.
He’s not harsh or even mean. Just calm and firm, but that just seems to piss Salem off more. His eyes snap to Jasper.
“And who are you to tell me what to say to my brother? You don’t even know me.” Salem rolls his eyes. “Fuck this. Fuck all of this.”
“Hey!” I snap, finally finding my voice. “Watch your mouth.”
Salem ignores me, turning on his heel and walking out of the kitchen. A few seconds later, the front door opens and then slams shut.
I stare at the empty kitchen doorway, my heart pounding and my throat tight. Tears burn the back of my eyes, and I’m about to go after Salem when Jasper wraps an arm around my stomach and hauls me against his chest.
He presses his face into my hair, breathing in deeply. “Let him go, baby boy. He’ll be alright. Give him some space.”
“I don’t even know what’s happening,” I whisper, my voice choked off.
Jasper squeezes me lightly, rubbing his face against my hair. “He’s just having a bit of a hard time. He’ll be okay. Let me drop Nora off on my way to work, and you take a shower and relax.”
I shake my head. “You’ll be late if you take her.”
Letting go of me, Jasper turns me in his arms, then tilts my head back, pressing a kiss to my lips. “It’ll be fine. I won’t be too late. It’s no big deal. I’ll just text Austin and let him know.”
“But what about Salem?”
Jasper searches my eyes. “He’s alright. Let him take the bus. Give him some time to cool off. He’s got his phone if there’s an emergency.”
I nod, my throat aching with the force of holding back my tears, then drop my forehead to Jasper’s chest, breathing in his scent for a second.
“Okay.” I stand up, giving my arms a shake like I can somehow physically shake it all away. “It’s gonna be okay.”
Or at least I fucking hope it will be.
I peek around Jasper to tell Nora goodbye when I realize she’s not in the kitchen anymore.
“She went to her room,” Jasper says.
Fuck. “God, I’m fucking this all up already, huh? I have no clue what I’m doing.”
Chuckling, Jasper shakes his head. “No one does, baby boy. It’ll come with time, okay? Don’t stress it.”
It’s pretty fucking impossible to not stress it. I’ve been working my ass off for a year to get Salem and Nora. It’s all I wanted. Well, and Jasper. I wouldn’t change it for the world.
But what if I somehow fuck everything up more? I don’t know how to be a parent. I don’t even know if I’m supposed to be acting like a parent.
I really just don’t understand. Salem was so excited to come here. He was so ready to move in with me.
What am I doing wrong? Why is this so much harder for him than I thought it would be?
“Fuck,” I breathe.
Jasper cups my jaw, then kisses me softly. He nips my bottom lip, then smiles against me before pulling away. “Go shower. I’ll check on Salem if the bus hasn’t run yet, and then get Nora to school.”
“Alright.” I blow out a deep breath. “Okay. I’ll just—” I gesture toward our bedroom.
Offering me a gentle smile, Jasper nods. “Go on, baby boy. I’ve got this.”
With one more kiss, I leave Jasper standing in the kitchen.
After my shower—and a crying session—I decide to go into town to hang out at the diner.
I’m not good at sitting still, and while I’ll never admit to Jasper that I don’t like being home without him, I do have to admit that I’ve gotten used to being around him all the time.
I have no idea how I’m supposed to sleep without him tonight.
With any luck, things will be quiet, and I’ll be able to FaceTime him before I go to sleep.
In the meantime, I have to get out of the house.
When I first started working at Daisy’s, I had no idea what it would turn into for me. There was no way for me to know how important this little diner and its patrons would end up being to me.
And more than that, I didn’t know I’d meet Luca. I was surprised when he showed up and started inviting me to things—going with him when he was buying his car, going Christmas decoration shopping.
I was happy but hesitant. Not because I didn’t like him. But because, in my limited experience, people always let you down.
It’s because of him that I have Jasper. He’s the reason I started doing self-defense with them. He’s the reason I knew Jasper had a rough day the night I stopped in at The Pub and talked to him and then went home with him.
And now, five weeks out of work, and I feel like I’m losing my mind. Five weeks without seeing Luca and Theo multiple times a week. Five weeks without being mothered by Deb. Five weeks without feeling like myself.
I’m not sure when myself started feeling like this, but here we are. My life doesn’t feel like my life without Luca and Deb and Theo and Daisy’s.
Fuck, I can’t wait to go back to work.
I push open the door, the ding making me smile.
As soon as Theo sees me, his eyes light up. “Hey!”
“Hi.” I wave at him. “I’m just here to talk.” When concern crosses Theo’s expression, I shake my head. “Nothing’s wrong. Just bored at home without Jasper and the kids.”
Theo laughs. “Well, you know we won’t ever turn down the chance to talk to you.”
I follow him into the kitchen, and when Luca sees me, he smiles. “Hey.”
I wave.
“You bored at home yet?”
Groaning, I lean against the counter. “Oh my God, you have no idea. It’s a lot with the kids and stuff, but I’m so ready to come back to work.”
Theo gives me a small smile. “I bet. I rarely get stir-crazy. Home is my happy place.”
Luca snorts. “Hunter is your happy place.”
“That too,” Theo says with a grin. “I can’t help it that I’d rather be with him than anywhere else. He’s home.”
My heart thumps. Jasper is home too. How fucking crazy is that? “I know how that feels.”
“Yeah,” Luca says, running a hand through his hair. “I bet it’s weird to not have him home after all this time.”
“I still can’t believe he took off work for so long to stay with me.”
Theo raises an eyebrow. “Really? You can’t? He’s gone for you, man. What do you even mean?”
Luca points at Theo like he just dropped the biggest truth bomb ever. “Yeah, I know,” I say, chuckling. “It’s just… five weeks off work is a lot. I think he would have taken more if I had asked him to or if I needed it.”
Sobering, Luca nods. “Yeah, God, I can’t believe how close we came to losing you.”
My throat tightens. “Yeah…”
If I let myself think about it too much, it gives me heart palpitations, so I try not to. I should probably get my ass into therapy. The kids are going, and if I want to be at my best for them, I should too.