Chapter 11
Oliver didn’t know how long he sat guard, but he was feeling the pull of sleep too when there was the old army signal knock on the door. Webb. He let Webb in. The man’s face showed relief the minute he saw Megan on the bed. “I thought she’d gone.”
“No. She came here to sleep.”
“She trusts you,” his batman replied. “That will make things easier.” Webb looked at him. “You need sleep. I’ll stand guard now. Get some rest.” With that he moved into the hall. And propped himself against the wall.
Oliver closed the door and looked at the chair and then longingly at the bed. He did need sleep.
“There is room for you. I know you won’t hurt me,” said a soft voice.
But did he trust himself? Hell, he was so tired he doubted he’d be any threat to any woman. He lay down next to her and she snuggled into his side and promptly fell back asleep.
Oliver lay there for a moment, luxuriating in the softness and warmth of her. Yet, it was this offer of trust that stirred him the most.
After everything she’d been through, that she could trust him was a miracle. He would do anything to ensure he deserved her trust. Even with the temptation of Venus lying next to him.
She stirred, laying her arm across his chest, so her hand lay over his heart.
He drew a deep breath. His heart beat strong and loud in his chest. What was it about this woman that affected him so?
She was a nobody. A woman who couldn’t read or write, but suddenly he was thinking he wanted to keep her in his life.
But how? How on earth could he keep her trust and keep her.
Making her his mistress was akin to what Penharrow did.
He’d offered her freedom and by God he’d keep that promise.
His eyes finally drifted close and he sank into dreams of a woman with fair hair and the greenest eyes lying next to him in a meadow with children with the same-colored eyes playing around him.
Thank goodness dreams were free because this could never happen in real life.
* * *
The sun was shining in the windows when he finally awoke. Megan lay on her side watching him. She smiled shyly. “You snore a little.”
“Did I wake you?”
“No. The sun did, and the noise from the yard below.” She looked him in the eye and said, “Do you have a mistress?”
His face heated. “No, but I did. We parted ways before I headed to Wales.”
“Why? Why did you part ways?”
“Because she wanted more than I could give her, and I won’t lie to her. She was more interested in pleasing my uncle, the Duke. I’m his heir as he has no sons. My uncle can be very manipulative to get what he wants, and I didn’t trust her.”
“Trust is everything,” she whispered.
“I’m beginning to see you’re right. I want to trust those around me. Like I trust Webb. He is not of my social standing, but I’d trust him more than I trust my uncle or any other peer I know.”
“I’ve never been able to trust anyone. They were all employed by Penharrow and so were paid by him, but mostly they’re just scared of him. And I cannot blame them. He is cruel, vindictive, and I call him the devil.”
“But you trust me?”
She lay staring at him before lifting her hand and cupping his cheek. “I do. So please don’t do anything to destroy that. I may never get over the loss.”
“I promise not to betray you.”
She rolled onto her back. “You might mean that now but once we enter your world, I wonder how easy it will be for you to keep your word. You promised to set me free.”
“I had a falcon once. I found it injured and nursed it back to health, but when it was well, it was like a trapped mouse in a maze. My father said to set it free. And if it came back to me once free, then I knew it trusted me and liked me. So I did what he suggested, and it used to return to me each summer. Then with its mate. It never forgot me and it seemed to be thanking me for letting it live a good life.”
“So, you think if you set me free, I’ll come back?”
“I’m not saying that. You’re taking the wrong meaning from my story. I’m merely stating that any living being held captive is not really living and will wither. I’d never want you to wither. I want you to shine and grasp life and live it how you want.”
A small tear slipped from her eye and slid down her check. She leaned in and pressed her lips to his.
They were as soft as he’d imagined and more addictive than he wanted. He tried to hold back and let her explore, but as her tongue slid along his lips he opened and, on a groan, hauled her to him and took over the kiss.
He explored her mouth as if it were the sweetest dessert and knew once would never be enough.
She didn’t try to withdraw but let him enter her mouth and taste her.
The kiss went on and on, and soon he couldn’t hide his body’s reaction, and he tried to move, afraid he’d scare her, but she moved closer.
His hand moved down her side, feeling the curves beneath her woolen gown and oh, how he wanted to be skin to skin. She gave a little moan and he rolled them over, so he lay atop her. The kiss ended, and they lay breathing heavily, looking at each other.
“I’m sorry. I should have stopped the kiss,” he said, his erection pressing into her stomach.
“It was my choice to kiss you. My free choice, the first I’ve ever had, and I didn’t want you to stop, but most importantly, I knew you would if I asked.”
She didn’t understand how close he was to not being able to stop, so he said nothing. Finally, he looked at her and said, “We should check on Webb and get some food. We need to keep moving even though it’s daylight. We can’t risk Penharrow’s men returning.”
“How long until we reach your estate?”
He looked out the window. “The sun is shining. It’s not raining or snowing, and the horses are rested and fed, so a day at the most.”
She gave a small smile. “So close. I am starting to believe.”
Once his erection had subsided, he rose and walked to the door, unwilling to remind her that close wasn’t good enough. Only when they walked into Saxton Castle would he know she was safe. “I’ll leave you to your ablutions, while I check on Webb and organize some food.”
* * *
Once he’d left, Megan saw to her needs. She looked at the bed where she’d slept next to him and then ran her fingers across her lips.
She’d wanted to kiss Oliver. It wasn’t because he was as handsome as sin.
It was because of who he was inside. Honorable, kind, truthful, and because he hadn’t taken or asked.
She understood he wanted her, but he’d not pushed her.
He’d let her take the lead and then halted when he instinctively knew she wasn’t ready.
She wondered what it would be like giving herself freely to him. Would he cause her pain? Would she like it? What would it feel like to be consumed by a man such as Oliver?
She rather thought she’d like the experience and already knew it would be nothing like lying under Penharrow.
She closed her eyes and rubbed her fists into them, wishing she could erase the image of what Penharrow had forced her to do.
Memory was a fickle thing. She couldn’t remember her parents, her family, but she wished she could.
On a sigh she sat down and began to plait her hair into tidier submission. One more day and she might be safe.
Why was the idea of being out of Penharrow’s clutches making her feel sad? Probably because it would mean leaving Oliver and Oliver made her feel safe. Feel normal. Feel clean.
No, it was because she had no idea what her life would now become. What would she do? Where would she go? Oliver had promised to give her enough money to live quietly, but she was only twenty-one, and her future stretched on in bleak reality.
She wanted Oliver and that was another impossible dream. A Marquess. She could never marry a marquess. Another tear sprang to her eye, but she could be his mistress. That wouldn’t be enough for either of them or would simply lead to heartache.
She would have to leave, and she suspected Oliver would not want to let her go. She’d have to be strong for both of them.
She angrily brushed the tear aside. How selfish to want so much.
When she was free of Penharrow her prayer would be granted.
That was enough. It would have to be enough.
Some pasts can’t be erased, but she would make a better future.
Maybe she’d try to find out who her family was.
That was a goal. An appropriate goal and would give her some direction in life.
A weight lifted. She had something to look forward to rather than always looking back.
Once free, she’d refuse to let that man own any more of her thoughts. He would be dead to her. Oliver’s return interrupted her thoughts.
“I’ve checked the horses, and the innkeeper has breakfast for us in the private room whenever we’re ready. She told me Penharrow’s men have headed north. She got the blacksmith to tell them he’d seen three riders heading north.”
“Will the horses make another day’s ride?”
“Today’s ride should be easier given the sun is shining. The ground is still frozen, so the slush hasn’t started. We should go before the snow and ice melt, as that will make the going harder. We’ll leave after breakfast.”
* * *
Eight hours later, as dusk fell, the tension in Oliver’s shoulders diminished as they rode up the treelined driveway of Saxton Castle. They’d bloody made it.
The head groom saw them approaching.
“Trevor, it’s me, Oliver.”
Soon the grooms from the stables arrived to help them dismount. “Please ensure these horses are treated well, given food and rubbed down. They’re the reason we’ve arrived safely.”
The large front door was pushed wide and Harold the butler came to meet them.
“My lord, we were not expecting you. I shall make rooms ready immediately.”
“Thank you, Harold. Please show Webb and Miss Megan to rooms in the east wing. Have three baths drawn and find some of my cousin’s clothes for Miss Megan. Oh, and send for the doctor to see to Webb’s shoulder wound. Is my uncle here?
“He is in his study. Will you be joining the family for dinner?”