Chapter 9
Tess
“You can do this,” Delilah murmured behind me, nudging me through the door of Circle M’s barn. “They already know since I texted them you were thinking about it last week, but tell them about the course, it’ll show initiative.”
I swallowed, my tongue thick in my mouth. “Right.”
After Delilah and I talked last week, I found a bookkeeping course online and already started it.
I figured, even if Claire and Beau didn’t want me working for them and Golden Circle, I could find a job doing it for another company or a few people around town.
But it’d be really convenient if they did hire me, since I only had a hundred dollars left of the thousand I had fled Corpus Christi with.
It’s just, Claire and Beau were intimidating.
Especially Beau. He was…massive like Jeremy, and often had that surly, brooding look that I hadn’t figured out how to read quite yet.
I knew logically he was harmless—Claire would’ve never been with someone who wasn’t—but I still hadn’t warmed up to him entirely.
So asking him for a job was daunting, to put it lightly, even if he knew it was coming.
Claire must’ve heard us. She looked up from her clipboard, instantly smiling. “Hey! What are y’all doing?”
“Tess wanted to talk to you,” Delilah said, giving me a swift smack in the butt.
I jumped, glaring up at her over my shoulder. “Ouch!”
“Sorry, couldn’t help it.” She chuckled, her nose scrunching with her grin. “You’ve just got the cutest little booty.” She said, lifting her hands in the air and mimicking the act of squeezing something.
I rolled my eyes and faced my sister and her boyfriend again. Beau looked amused by Delilah’s antics, so maybe that meant he was in a good mood. “What’d you wanna talk about?” he asked, his voice a rough timbre that made me tense.
“The bookkeeping thing.” I cleared my throat, shifting on my feet. “I wanted to see if you two had a chance to think about it?”
I forced myself to take a step closer and stand straighter. There’s nothing to be afraid of, I told myself. It’s just bear and Beau. Family.
I lifted my chin, remembering Delilah’s advice. “I signed up for a course and started it already. With the amount of free time I have right now, I should be done in about three weeks.”
Claire’s brows raised a fraction, impressed. “Really?”
“Yeah.” I tucked some hair behind my ear. “I’ll interview for real, and if you think you can find someone better, then I want you to tell me. I don’t want this to be some kind of…charity thing. I want to earn it the right way, so don’t coddle me.”
The couple looked at each other, having a silent conversation, but it wasn’t long before Beau took a step towards me, a kind of fondness in his eyes that softened him. “This is a family business, Tess,” he said. “There isn’t anyone better for the job than you.”
It took a second for my brain to absorb the words. My hands flew to my mouth, a choked sound leaving me. My eyes pricked with tears, looking up at him. “Are you serious?”
The corner of his mouth curved upward, and he nodded. “Yeah. The job is yours if you want it.”
The joy and relief that hit me were staggering, and I jumped, throwing my arms around his neck to hug him. Beau let out an oof before his arm banded around my back, supporting my weight as my feet left the ground. “Of course, I want it.”
“Then welcome to the team, bug,” Beau said, his voice tender. He’d never called me that before, but it felt nice. Familiar, like when Emmett said it. I realized then he was just another older brother to look out for Luke and me, and I hugged him a little tighter.
He set me down, and Claire, Delilah, and I had a group hug, both of them towering over me as we jumped around, squealing with excitement.
I couldn’t stop laughing and crying. This was big for Luke and me. Monumental. We could get an apartment in town now. I could get a car of my own.
I didn’t have to rely on anyone for anything anymore.
It was a level of freedom I’d never had before. Not one time in my life.
Everything was falling into place, finally, after what felt like clawing through quicksand these last eight years.
My face hurt I was smiling so hard. I grabbed my phone out of my pocket, my mind on autopilot as I dialed Levi’s number, wanting to tell him straight away. “I’m gonna call Levi,” I said, already racing out of the barn.
“I got a job!” I squealed into the phone before he could even get a word out.
“What?” The excitement in his voice only heightened mine.
“The bookkeeping class I told you about. I’m gonna work for Golden Circle!”
“Oh my God, that’s amazing, Tess,” he said, and I only smiled more, my body quaking with adrenaline. “I’m so proud of you.”
A rush of warmth overtook me at the praise, and I slumped against the side of the barn, biting back my smile. “Really?”
“Yes, really. I wish I were there to celebrate with you.”
My gaze ran over the land that stretched out before me, the grass almost glowing in the warm afternoon sunlight.
It was beautiful. Peaceful. And I realized I wanted him here with me to enjoy it too.
I could picture him here so clearly—his dry humor, kind eyes, and that gorgeous smile. I wanted that. I wanted him. Now.
“You could come over,” I offered, my voice softer, lower.
There was only silence on his end, and my heart was beating so fast my chest hurt while I waited for him to respond.
Levi let out a shaky breath that gave me chills in the mid-August heat. “I’d be there in a heartbeat if I could, but I’m about to go to court.”
I shoved back my disappointment and forced a smile, even though he couldn’t see it. “That’s okay.”
“What about later? I do want to see you and hear all about it.” My insides turned to straight mush.
“Luke has karate tonight.”
“Another time then,” he said, quieter. His voice brushed against my skin like silk, and I squirmed.
I nodded, my mouth dry. “Yeah.”
“I should go.”
“Okay.” My voice was hardly more than a rasping whisper.
But he didn’t hang up. And neither did I.
I could hardly breathe the longer the silence dragged on, thick and heavy. I wondered how he looked right now. What he was wearing. If he felt this electricity humming beneath his skin like I did.
“Levi?”
“Yes?” he breathed, the response instant. My eyes fluttered shut, my hand tightening around my phone.
“Good luck in court,” I managed to get out, and hung up before I could second-guess myself.
I sagged against the wall, breathing hard as my hand holding my phone fell limp at my side. I ran a hand through my hair, gathering it up off the back of my neck, the air stifling.
“Did you just have phone sex?”
I jumped. My eyes snapped to Delilah. “What? No!” I wish.
She waved her hand over me, hazel eyes flashing with amusement. “Your face is flushed, and you’re all breathless, clutching your phone like it’s a lifeline. Definitely looks like phone sex aftermath if you ask me.”
I shook my head, walking past her to the golf cart we rode out here. “I hate you,” I grumbled.
We climbed into the golf cart, and she turned it on, the engine humming to life. “We’ll be discussing this at your first session, Thursday,” she snickered, and I groaned.
“Yah!” The chorus of little voices rang along the dojo walls, while I cradled baby Hattie in my lap, making absurd noises to make her smile.
“You’re good with her,” Anna said, watching over us fondly.
“I love babies.” I brushed her little wisps of blonde hair like Anna’s forward, my finger trailing down along her soft, chubby cheek. She let out a little coo, her lips forming an adorable ‘o’. “I remember Luke being this tiny. I’d never seen anything more magical in my life.”
I looked up, finding my not-so-little baby stepping forward, his fists up by his face before punching one out with another ‘yah’. His red curls bounced with the sharp movement.
He was so perfect, my chest ached.
“Do you think you’ll ever have more?”
I glanced at Anna. “Kids?” She nodded. “I don’t know. What about you?”
She snorted. “I adore my kids and I’m obsessed with Jo, but I’m still in that phase where if he comes near me wanting sex, I’ll cut his dick off.”
A laugh shot out of me, startling Hattie, but she calmed quickly.
“I’d like to have more someday,” I said, watching Luke again. “If I found the right guy. But I’m not sure that’s in the cards for me with all the baggage I have.”
Anna clucked her tongue, pursing her lips at me before she said casually, “I can think of one. He’s got that whole Clark Kent vibe and may or may not be my cousin.”
“Not you, too,” I sighed, not daring to look at her.
She only laughed more, nudging my body with hers. “You love it,” she said. “But really, what’s going on with that?”
I buried my face in my free hand and groaned. “I don’t know.” And that was the truth.
“Maybe he’s waiting for you to make the first move?” Anna suggested, taking Hattie from me after she started sucking on my shoulder, hungry.
I snorted. “I doubt it. It’s probably all just in my head.”
“So you do have feelings for him.” It wasn’t a question.
I picked at my nails, unable to look her in the eye. “Yeah. I do.” I chewed on the inside of my cheek. “Big ones, I think. Ones I didn’t know I was capable of ever feeling again after Jeremy.”
“Wow.”
I nodded. “He makes me feel safe,” I rasped, my nose stinging. “He doesn’t treat me differently because of what’s happened to me, you know? And he really cares about Luke.” My chin quivered. “And me, I think.”
That was something I never had to question with Levi. Every action he took was backed with care. With sincerity and thought. He was probably the most caring person I knew outside of my family. But that’s what made it so much better; he didn’t have to care about us, and yet he did.
Her gaze softened. “Aw, Tessie.” She wiped a tear off my cheek. “Of course, he cares about you. You’re you. Beautiful inside and out.”