Chapter 10
Levi
“You look like you’re plannin’ to jump off a bridge,” Louise said, standing at my table with a hand on her hip. “What’s wrong?”
Water shot back into my windpipe. “Jesus Christ,” I sputtered, coughing. I set my glass down and looked up at her, stunned. “Where do you come up with this stuff?”
She tapped her temple twice. “Are you gonna spill, or what?”
“There’s nothing wrong, Mrs. Cal—” She shot me a glare. “Louise,” I corrected.
The bell over the entrance rang, and Tess strode in. Alone. She looked around, tucking some flyaway hairs behind her ear, the rest up in a messy ponytail. It looked like she ran here, given her workout clothes. The tank top and shorts were tight, leaving nothing to the imagination.
And I had been imagining. A lot. Every day. I was now more acquainted with my hand than I’d ever been in my life because of her.
The latest form of torment was that phone call yesterday and the sultry rasp of her voice asking me to come over.
My eyes fell to her feet, and sure enough, my heart skipped seeing those pink shoes. I loved how much she loved them. It was unstoppable when my gaze slid up her legs. It was the most skin of hers I’d ever seen in person, and it was…overwhelming to say the least.
“Ah,” Louise said. “I heard about this.”
I dragged my eyes off Tess. It was harder than it should’ve been. “Heard about what?”
“You and Tessie being sweet on each other.” I’d call it more of an obsession on my end. No clue what Tess’s end was, but I knew there was something, and that only made resisting her that much harder.
“No.” I’d never lied so blatantly in my life. “Just friends.”
Louise actually laughed. Loud, obnoxious, and enough to make heat crawl up my neck. And even worse, it caught Tess’s attention, and before I could brace myself, she was walking over to my table, her long ponytail swinging with every step.
“Hey.” Her smile was warm, her eyes sparkling, and I was instantly mesmerized.
I took in every freckle on her face, every shade of blue in her eyes, the fullness of her lips.
Her under-eyes were a little darker than usual; she must not have slept well.
Had she had a nightmare? Luke? I wanted to know, wanted to chase their demons away.
Louise smacked the back of my head with a menu. “Ow!” I rubbed the back of my head, scowling at her.
She had her gray brows raised at me, gesturing to Tess. “You deaf?”
Tess giggled. She glanced at the empty seat across from me. “Can I sit?” She could sit on me for all I cared. Actually, I think I’d prefer it.
I’m losing my mind.
“Of course,” I forced out, my voice a little strained.
“Can I just get a smoothie, Miss Louise?” she said, her head tilted up towards her grandmother’s friend. “A fruity one.”
Louise frowned. “You sure, honey? I can make you some of those buffalo tenders you like.”
I snatched that piece of information up with pure greed, wanting to know everything about her. But I also found it oddly fascinating; the ‘under the radar’ girl liked spicy food.
Tess’s eyes widened, her lips forming an ‘o’. “Ooh, I haven’t had those in ages,” she groaned, and I nearly died. “I’ll have two…and some fries…with ranch…and a Dr. Pepper, please.” She blushed a smidge harder with every item she tacked onto her order, like it was some kind of inconvenience.
Yeah…I was definitely falling in love with her.
“I remember,” Louise chuckled, and Tess folded in on herself a little with a shy smile. She was so tiny, dainty in a way that made me want to shield her from the rest of the world. “Cheer him up while I go get it.”
And there went my good mood that Tess had me in.
Tess frowned as Louise walked away before slowly looking at me. “Cheer you up? What’s wrong?”
I can’t be with you, and my family is full of soulless leeches who nearly destroyed yours—again. That’s what’s wrong. “Nothing. Everything’s fine.”
Her head tilted. “Levi.” My blood pumped faster at the way her lips formed my name.
“It’s really nothing, Tess.”
“If it’s nothing, then why not tell me?” She leaned back, crossing her arms over her chest, arching a brow. Not sure if she was trying to look intimidating or not, but it wasn’t working. I just wanted to haul her into my lap and shower her with kisses.
But I relented regardless, unable to deny her. “I had lunch with my grandfather and Preston last Saturday.” I stared down at the table. “It went about as well as you could expect after court Thursday.”
Her arms fell to her lap. “What happened?”
“I left before the drinks could even come out?” I admitted, wincing, while twisting my glass around. “Stormed out’s more like it.”
Her mouth popped open, a combination of shock and amusement. “You stormed out?” She leaned in closer. “I can’t even imagine you doing something like that.” Her eyes darted all over me. “You’re so…so nice. My mind can’t comprehend what that would even look like,” she said with a chuckle.
My mouth flattened to a thin line, averting her gaze again. I wanted her to keep that positive image of me. “Well, it happened.”
“But you were at the rodeo Saturday. Why didn’t you say anything?” She looked almost hurt that I hadn’t told her. It made me want a time machine.
I shrugged a shoulder, quirking the corner of my mouth. “I didn’t want to dump all my personal stuff on you. The last thing you need right now is to worry about what I’m doing.” She looked even more hurt.
“But I want you to dump things on me,” she said quietly, as if I should’ve known somehow already. “We’re friends, Levi. Friends tell each other things. Or at least I thought we were.”
I detested the word friends. I didn’t want that word anywhere near Tess and me.
“Well, now you both look pathetic,” Louise scolded as she set Tess’s drink down and refilled my water.
“Thanks, Miss Louise,” Tess said. Her voice was just above a whisper, not meeting either one of our gazes. I hated seeing her like this.
“They accused me of helping Savannah.” Her eyes darted to mine. “I slipped her information in the middle of the hearing. The information that won her the case. I didn’t deny it, and then it all just kind of went downhill from there.”
She stretched her hand across the table, slipping her hand over mine. “I’m sorry. That must be hard.”
All I could do was stare. It was the first time she had initiated contact between us since she hugged me in my office the first day we met. Her thumb ran over the backs of my fingers in a swipe that reverberated through every cell in my body.
I shrugged, taking a sip of water with my other hand, trying to act as casually as possible. “Not anything new. You know my family, what kind of people they are.”
Her head tilted, her expression going from sympathetic to assessing. “And yet, you’re nothing like them.”
“Sometimes I worry I am.” The admission left me involuntarily, raw and painful in a way I hadn’t expected. “That one day, I’ll wake up and be just as heartless as them.”
Her fingers tightened around mine. “You could never be like them. You’re kind and compassionate”—her eyes roamed all over me—“and good. You’re so good, Levi. One of the best people I’ve ever come across.”
My chest ached under the weight of her opinion. I ran my thumb over her knuckles, unable to stop myself or really care about the consequences, for that matter. “Thanks,” I rasped, scrunching my nose to get rid of the burning sensation.
I had to tell her what they said. I’d be going against everything she said if I kept it in any longer, but I didn’t want it to change the way she saw me. “They also told me some things.” I cleared my throat. “About the merger.”
Her hand slid out of mine slowly, and it felt like the sun had disappeared from the sky. “What about it? Are they planning more stuff?”
“No. The original one that was supposed to happen in the seventies.”
Tess’s body went rigid, staying silent as Louise placed her plate in front of her, and thank God Louise could read a room, because she didn’t say anything, and just left.
“What about it?” she asked again. This time, her voice was wary. I could even see it in her eyes how on edge she was.
My heart pounded, my mouth suddenly too dry. I downed half my drink and spat the words out before I said something else. I told her everything Grandfather and Preston had told me, from their accusation to my storming out.
Tess’s face paled as I spoke, her lips parting, horrified.
And when I was done, I was practically shaking while she just sat there, blinking at me. I hated not being able to tell what she was thinking. “Say something.”
“Were you going to tell us?” she whispered.
My back met the back of the booth roughly, her words knocking the strength out of me.
“Of course, I was.” But she didn’t look all that convinced.
I ran a hand through my hair. “I was going to Saturday before the rodeo started, but I didn’t realize how big of a deal it was until I got there.
I didn’t want to ruin everyone’s night. I was going to call Beau when I got back to the office about it. ”
The muscles in her jaw tensed, her eyes narrowing slightly. I’d never seen her look at me like that. Like she wasn’t sure whether she could believe me or not.
“You believe me, don’t you?” My voice came out pained in a way I’d never heard it. I hadn’t realized just how valuable her opinion of me was until it was at stake.
“Of course, I do. We’re friends, and I trust you.” It didn’t sound all that convincing, though. It sounded brittle and maybe even a little forced.
Tess looked at the table for a moment, with that small furrow between her brows that she got when she was thinking. She straightened and looked around the diner. Then she smiled tightly, and seconds later, Louise showed up.
“Whatcha need, honey?” Louise asked.
“A to-go box, please. And my check.” Her voice was quiet, meek. She hadn’t talked like that in front of me since the day we met.
My heart plummeted. She was leaving? “You don’t have to go,” I said. Desperate.
“I do,” she said, not looking at me. “I need to go tell Claire and Beau.” Panic flared in my chest. What if they reacted in the same way? What if I lost the only semblance of family I had left?
“Put her stuff on mine,” I told Louise, still watching Tess.
Tess shook her head. “No. I got it.”
It shouldn’t have been a big deal, but it was.
I always paid when we did stuff. I wanted to.
And it wasn’t some controlling, macho male thing either; I just wanted to spoil her, to take care of her.
Her not letting me felt like shit. There wasn’t a better word for it.
It felt like pure shit. And it hit so hard I could barely breathe.
Louise came back with the bill and her box way too fast, and I watched in panicked silence while Tess paid and packed up her food.
When I woke up this morning, I never would’ve guessed this was how today would go.
“Tess, please,” I rasped, reaching for her as she stood.
“I gotta go,” she whispered, her voice cracking a little. “I’ll see you around.”
My chest hollowed out as I watched her leave quickly without a second glance. It felt like she had just reached in and carved my heart right out and took it with her.
“What the hell did you do?” Louise asked, scowling at me.
“I don’t know.” But that wasn’t entirely true. I knew. I just didn’t want to say it, didn’t even want to think it, but the thought wouldn’t stop. It rang through my mind until it was deafening.
I ruined everything.
And I needed to fix it before I actually lost the one good thing in my life.
I wanted to chase after her, to tell her that I was falling for her, and knowing that I upset her made me feel like I was dying, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t because I was her fucking lawyer.
Louise left, murmuring under her breath that I was an idiot.
I reached for my phone, a pit in my stomach as I called the one person I could think of who could actually help me with this.
One of the few guys I stayed in touch with from law school, Trevor.
He worked at a big firm in New York now, so we didn’t see each other often, but he was one of the best lawyers I knew.
If there were a way for me to get around this situation, he’d know about it.
“Hello?”
“Hey, Trev,” I said on a heavy breath. “Got a minute?”
There was some shuffling, then the sound of a door shutting. “Sure. What’s up?”
“I need some advice…personal and work.”
There was a long sigh. “What did you do?”
I rested my forehead in my hand, wincing. “I may or may not have fallen for a client?”
“Jesus Christ, Levi,” he groaned. “What did you do that for?”
“It’s not like I could help it!” I hissed under my breath, not wanting anyone to hear. “I just…help me.”
“Easy. Stop representing her.”
My eyes fell shut. “I can’t. I don’t want to. Her case…I don’t want anyone else handling it, don’t trust anyone else to handle it.”
“Then wait until it’s done.”
I looked up, watching Tess outside the diner. She was on the phone, too, with the wind in her hair and the sun on her skin. “Yeah, that’s not going to work for me either.”
“Patience was never your strong suit,” he grumbled.
“Do you know of anything I can do to get around it?” When I worked up the nerve to tell Tess about my feelings, I wanted to have a solution instead of just unloading on her.
Trevor clucked his tongue, and I waited with bated breath. “There’s always an informed consent waiver. She’d have to sign it, saying she doesn’t care about the ethical implications. And you’d have to sign in acknowledgement of the ethical, professional, and reputational risks.”
That seemed easy enough. It was just a matter of figuring out if that’s what Tess wanted. “Okay.”
“You’d be putting a lot on the line,” he said. “You sure she’s worth the hassle?”
I looked up from the table again, watching as Tess got into Savannah’s car and pulled away. “She’s worth everything.”