Epilogue
DELILAH
The sun was scorching today, and my nerves were fucking shot. But I didn’t have time to think about my issues because I had to deal with fixing someone else’s in five minutes.
I tightened the cinch around Willow’s chest so the saddle didn’t slide and send Tess slipping over into the dirt when she got on her later. We’d been working up to this moment for weeks now, slowly building her trust with horses again while also working on trusting herself.
I was so proud of the progress she’d made in the last six weeks. Proud of her period. She never gave up, never let her demons define her, and after the hell that sick fuck Jeremy put her through, it was a miracle. I didn’t know if I would’ve made it out of a situation like that alive.
But that was probably more so because I didn’t know when to shut my mouth.
I glanced over Willow’s back, finding Emmett carrying a pair of two-by-fours into the barn that was getting converted into lodging for my veteran outreach program.
Stupid biceps. Stupid tattoos. Stupid fucking man.
“Fuck him,” I murmured under my breath, adjusting the stirrups with more force than I needed. Willow huffed, and I told myself it was a huff of agreement.
It’d been five weeks since he randomly quit therapy with me, saying that it wasn’t working, and a month since he ruined my birthday. Well, eighteen days, but who’s counting? Not me. No. I didn’t count things when it came to men unless it was counting their abs.
But damn, did Emmett Hayes know how to carry a two-by-four.
My head fell against Willow’s side, and I let out a sigh, shaking my head. “You’re pathetic. A disgrace to feminism,” I muttered to myself.
It didn’t seem to matter how much Emmett broke my heart over the years; there was always a stubborn little piece of it that kept beating solely for him.
A piece I buried so deep that no one knew about it. No one knew I’d been pining after him like an idiot since I was nine. That, for as long as I could remember, he was who I wanted.
I tried to move past it. I made myself date, not wanting to miss out on experiences growing up, but he was always there. Emmett was always at the periphery of my heart with his quiet beauty, and now his tormented mind.
I remembered the first time I saw him after he came home for good two years ago, and I knew immediately that something wasn’t right.
I sensed it before anyone else did. I could see through his bullshit easily.
And I’d just finished a rotation at the Veterans Affairs hospital, so I pulled him aside to give some tips for transitioning back into civilian life, but he shut me down instantly, growing defensive and cold, snapping at me in a way he never had before.
But I didn’t let it hurt me like I would’ve when I was younger, because I had the knowledge that he was suffering and didn’t know what to do with it besides lash out. He was hiding behind walls he put up for a reason, desperate to protect himself.
I liked to picture those walls as bricks. You could pull brick by brick down slowly until a person let you in completely—it was what I was doing with Tess. But Emmett’s walls weren’t made of brick. They were steel traps reinforced with titanium.
So I was ecstatic when he finally agreed to therapy after watching him hardly exist for two years. But no matter what I tried—a psychological cannon, a bulldozer, a bomb—those walls didn’t come down, and he up and quit after only four sessions.
And then a week later, he turned around and told me it wasn’t working because I was a shitty therapist.
And that hurt. It hurt more than he could’ve possibly known.
I told myself he didn’t mean it, that I’d just pushed him too far like always, but I couldn’t even bring myself to speak to him the pain was still so raw.
“Hey,” Tess said.
I switched mental gears, pushing Emmett out of my mind. This was Tess’s time, and she deserved to have me fully present. “Hey, bug.” I ran a hand down Willow’s neck. “Think you’re ready to ride today?”
She glanced at Willow and reached for her fingers before stopping herself. I smiled. The finger picking was a habit we were trying to break. Couldn’t have a big flashy diamond with busted nails; that was just a bad look.
“Yeah,” she cleared her throat. “About that…”
My eyes narrowed, taking inventory of her. She had dark circles under her eyes, and her face was pale, almost clammy. “What’s wrong?”
“I can’t ride Willow.”
I glanced at the horse, surprised. I thought Tess would’ve gotten over her fear of her by now.
“That’s okay,” I said, not wanting to make her feel bad.
Tess had a real problem with people pleasing, and I wasn’t about to let her feel guilty or like she was letting me down in any way for not being ready. “We can always try again next week.”
She swallowed roughly. “I can’t ride her next week either.” She chewed on her bottom lip, her fingers wiggling at her sides. “I can’t ride her for nine months.”
My heart screeched to a stop. “What?”
Her eyes met mine, and she squinted like she was bracing for impact. “I’m pregnant…?”
Willow’s lead fell out of my hand. My gaze fell to her stomach. “Are you asking me or telling me?”
She inhaled deeply. “Telling.”
I swallowed thickly, fighting tooth and nail not to show her how disturbed I was.
Pregnancy was not some beautiful thing to me.
It freaked me the fuck out. It was an alien invasion, a hostile takeover of perfectly sane women that turned them briefly psycho.
I was still haunted by Anna’s water breaking three feet away from me on her couch. I hadn’t sat on it since.
But my pregnancy phobia wasn’t Tess’s burden to carry, so I schooled my voice. “Wow!” The word came out forced and brittle.
She clasped her forehead, raking a hand back through her hair. “I know, it’s crazy, but it just happened.”
I sucked my teeth, my eyes falling shut. “I can’t believe I’m having to explain this to someone who already has a kid, but babies don’t just happen, Tess.”
“Are you mad?”
I gave her a sideways glance. “No, I’m not mad. I’m just concerned for Luke’s birds and bees talk because you clearly got some wires crossed about prevention. When did this even happen? You and Levi have been together for like, two minutes.”
“I mean,”—her cheeks flushed—“all it really takes is two minutes.”
I recoiled in disgust. “You’re telling me you married a minute man?!” I groaned. “We’ve got bigger issues than the damn baby if that’s the case.”
“No!” She laughed. “No, he’s definitely not a minute man. It happened…it happened on your birthday.”
Well, at least someone had a good time on my birthday.
Tess looked up at the sky, giggling. “I can’t believe I’m telling you this, Levi would be so embarrassed.” Her eyes met mine, and they were sparkling with so many positive emotions I couldn’t decipher them. “We had sex in the bathroom at the Bull Pen.”
I think if my jaw dropped any further, it would unhinge like a snake’s. Who fucking knew that sweet, demure Tess was getting her back blown out in a dive bar bathroom? And by the lawyer version of Clark Kent, of all people? All while I was getting my heart ripped out of my chest by her brother.
“Who are you and what have you done with Tess?!” I shrieked.
Her cheeks went from cherry blossom pink to beet red. “That’s what Claire said when she found us.”
“Claire knew and didn’t tell me? That bitch!” What is with these Hayes siblings and keeping shit from me?
She tucked her hair behind her ears, her eyes soft with insecurity. “You’re really not mad? You don’t think this is insane?”
I wasn’t one to pass judgment in the insane department. I’d been in love with her brother for twenty years when he didn’t see me as anything more than an annoying sister, but this wasn’t about me. It was about her.
“Tessie, even if I were mad, which I’m not, my feelings are not your responsibility. Remember?” I set my hands on her shoulders. “Are you happy about this?”
The corner of her mouth tilted up with a smile. “Yeah.”
“Then that is literally all that matters. Fuck what everyone else thinks, yeah?”
“Yeah.” Her eyes darted between mine. “But what do you think?”
I scoffed with amusement. “I think we need to work harder on your people pleasing tendencies, and that’s what we’ll do while you’re growing”—I glared down at her stomach and got chills—“it.”
“They’re not an it!” She put her hand on her flat stomach. “We just…don’t know if they’re a he or she yet.”
“Mhm.” I grimaced, and she laughed. “I am happy for you, bug,” I said, taking her hand. “You deserve all the happiness in the world.”
Her eyes turned glassy, and she blinked back her tears. “Thanks,” she rasped.
And then she grabbed a feed bucket and puked into it.
“Ah fuck,” I groaned, looking away while she retched.
I was genuinely happy for her. If puking into buckets and changing shitty diapers was what she wanted, then I was over the moon for her.
But as her particular brand of joy settled around me, my gaze slid back toward the barn.
Toward Emmett. He was building a bookshelf, one that was going in my office.
His muscles flexed as he swung the hammer, a nail between his lips, with a concentrated look on his face.
He was so beautiful, gorgeous in that purely masculine way that sent my hormones into overdrive.
And he didn’t even look at me twice. Never had. Never would.
And just like that, the ache in my chest came roaring back so fierce it stole my breath.
Tess had her happily ever after, and I was starting to wonder if I’d ever get mine.
But I refused to give up on him. Those walls would come down, one way or another, if I had anything to do with it.
The END