Chapter 10
CHAPTER TEN
Brinley stepped back and cocked her head as she took in the dress she’d just finished detailing. It looked good, if she said so herself.
“Damn, I think that’s your best one yet,” Cypress said, as she walked into the apartment. It was late in the afternoon and Brinley had been working all day.
“I’m not sure. I think it needs more…something.”
“Nope. Drop your hands and step away from the mannequin,” Cypress told her.
Brinley chuckled. “All right, all right. How was work?”
“Good. You talk to Dash today?”
“Just a text this morning. He’s been out in the field all day. But we’re still on for tonight. You are coming, right?”
“Are you sure you want me there? I mean, you and Dash have only been seeing each other for about a month, I’m not sure you need me tagging along just yet.”
“Of course I want you there! Why wouldn’t I? And you aren’t ‘tagging along,’ you’re going to hang out with your best friend. Besides, you know I don’t love bars.”
“I’ve heard The Staggering Moose is more like hanging out in someone’s basement than an actual bar.”
“Not sure that makes me feel any better.”
“Brinley, all his friends will be there, you’ll be fine. And things with you and Dash are still going well, right? He’s not being a jerk about anything? Not pressuring you for…you know.”
Brinley knew exactly what Cypress was asking. “No, not at all. He’s been awesome. I think…I mean, I wish…”
“Spit it out, Brin. This is me. You can talk to me about anything.”
“It’s just, when he kisses me, it makes me feel normal.”
“Girl, you are normal.”
Brinley was frustrated. She wasn’t explaining this very well, but she did her best to make her friend understand.
“All my life, I’ve been the girl who has watched people’s relationships from the sidelines.
I’ve read romance books and never really understood what the characters were feeling because I’ve never had the same experiences.
But with Dash…I get it. I understand how a woman could give up everything she’s worked for and decide to move across the country to be with a guy.
I understand the butterflies she has in her belly when she kisses the hero, and for the first time in my life, I feel as if a man is with me because he wants me, not because he’s using me to get to you or for some other bullshit reason—no offense. ”
“None taken,” Cypress said immediately.
There had been instances in the past where men had pretended to like Brinley, just to get closer to her roommate, who they really wanted to ask out…or have sex with. Cypress had shot down every last one—fast.
“However,” her friend continued, “I also don’t want you to feel as if this is your one and only chance at finding love. I mean, if you love Dash, great. But your feelings shouldn’t be based on the fact that he’s the first guy who truly understands how awesome you are.”
“I know, and they’re not. He’s… I’ve never felt this way about a guy before.” Her voice lowered to an almost whisper. “He makes me feel pretty.”
“You are pretty,” Cypress argued.
“You and I both know you’re biased. But thank you.
What I’m trying to say is that I actually want him to move faster than he is.
And I have no idea how to make that happen.
He’s been nothing but a gentleman, and when we kiss, it’s amazing.
But he always stops way before I’m ready.
How do I let him know that I’m okay with what we’re doing? That I want more?”
“Have you tried coming out and just telling him?” Cypress asked dryly.
“He’s not a mind reader, Brin. And he’s probably trying to go slow because you’re inexperienced.
You said you’ve already admitted that to him, and since he’s considerate, he’s not going to rush you into anything you aren’t ready for. ”
“But I am ready!” Brinley said firmly.
“Then tell him! Look, you aren’t fifteen anymore.
You’re a grown-ass adult. You’re on birth control, so you’re covered there, although you should still make him wear a condom because that’s the responsible thing to do.
Weren’t you bitching the other day about a romance you were reading where the entire drama was a result of lack of communication?
That if the characters just had a damn conversation in chapter two, the book would’ve been over and done, except they kept secrets from each other that caused a huge blowup and needless drama? ”
“Yeah, but—”
“No buts, woman! You want more, you tell him. Better yet, show him. Grab his ass when you kiss him. Put your hand up his shirt, whisper in his ear that you want him. I promise, he won’t be able to resist.”
Her words were a touch bitter…which wasn’t surprising, considering Cypress’s background, and that made Brinley’s heart hurt a little.
She and her friend were complete opposites when it came to their sexual experience—and not necessarily because Cypress wanted to sleep with the number of men she’d been with.
More because she was running from her past, trying to prove that she wasn’t broken. Which, of course, she kind of was.
But she was also much better now, had worked hard to move on from all that had happened to her. And Brinley couldn’t be prouder of the woman she was today.
“What if he says no?”
“Then you continue the conversation and ask him what’s holding him back. It’s possible he’s intimidated by you.”
Brinley laughed. “Whatever.”
“I mean it. Being with someone who’s never slept with anyone can be a lot of pressure for a guy…
that is, if they’re a good person. Which I believe Dash is.
It can hurt for a woman’s first time, and he seems like the kind of man who would hate to cause you any kind of pain.
Bottom line, Brin, is that if you want a future with Dash, if you want to have a long-term kind of thing with him, you’re going to have to open up. Talk to him.”
“I’m scared.”
“Of him?”
“No! He would never hurt me. What if I’m no good at it?”
“Honestly, you won’t be your first time. No one is. But I have a feeling Dash will be happy to take the reins. Show you what to do. All you have to do is follow his lead.”
“I guess I can do that.”
“Of course you can. Right, so…now I have to come tonight. You clearly need a coach. I’m thinking tonight is your night.”
“Is it too soon? We’ve only been dating for a month.”
“The thing I’ve learned is that there is no ‘right’ timetable for being intimate with someone. Do what you want, when you want.”
“I…I think he’s the one, Cypress. And that scares the crap out of me. What if he doesn’t feel the same? What if he just feels sorry for me?”
“That man does not feel sorry for you. He wouldn’t call and text you every day if he did.
He wouldn’t be bending over backward to see you as often as possible if he did.
He might send flowers and cards and shit if he was just trying to get you into bed.
But he wouldn’t be coming by when he’s exhausted after a full day of working out in the field.
He wouldn’t have introduced you to his teammates.
He wouldn’t be integrating you into his life if all he wanted was to get laid. ”
Brinley took a deep breath. She hoped Cypress was right. Her friend had a lot more experience with men than she did. “Okay.”
“Okay? You’re good?”
“I feel better, yes.”
“Awesome. Now we need to figure out what you’re going to wear tonight. You need to be casual but sexy at the same time. Make him lose the iron control he’s got when he’s around you. Tonight’s the night, Brin. I can feel it!”
“Should I pack a bag?” Brinley felt so out of her element.
“Hmmmm. I don’t think you should be so obvious. What if you put your toothbrush in your bag, and an extra pair of underwear? You can wear whatever you have on tonight home, and you aren’t going to need any PJs…hopefully.”
Brinley knew she was blushing, but she couldn’t help it.
She didn’t admit it to Cypress, but she was pretty sure she loved Dash.
She thought about him all the time, and when he called or texted, it made her entire day.
She always looked forward to seeing and talking to him, and she’d never been around someone who made her laugh as much as he did.
Being with someone in the military made her a little nervous, because the last thing she wanted to do was leave Cypress if Dash had to change bases.
She forgot the official name of what it was called when the Army told a soldier they had to go somewhere new.
But the thought of Dash leaving, and not being able to see him all the time, made her heart hurt.
Having sex with him would be life-changing for her, and not just because it would be her first time.
Being a virgin at thirty was ridiculous, but she wasn’t ashamed of it.
She’d waited partly because no one had ever expressed an interest in more than a roll in the hay with her in the past, but also because she wanted to share her body with someone she had genuine feelings for… and vice versa.
“Come on, let’s go look at your closet and see what we can find for you to wear tonight. I’m thinking a dress. A short one. Not slutty, but something classy that’ll have Dash itching to put his hands under it.”
Her cheeks warmed again but Brinley was excited about tonight. She wanted to look her best for Dash and maybe entice him to do more than just kiss her. They’d had some pretty intense make-out sessions, but she wanted more. She wanted it all.
“I think I have something that’ll work,” Brinley said. “It was a dress I had made for a client to wear in her talent competition. It’s tight on the top and has a skirt that’s flowy and swishy.”
“Flowy and swishy sounds perfect,” Cypress said with a smile. “And that’s exactly your style. Onward to your closet, woman. Let’s do this!”
Brinley smiled and found herself looking forward to the evening. Nerves turned to anticipation and excitement. Cypress was right. Once Dash realized what she wanted, he’d take the lead. All she’d have to do is follow. She couldn’t wait.
* * *