Chapter 19 #3
He didn’t want to, but honestly, finding Brinley in the middle of the Alaskan wilderness seemed like an impossible task.
She could literally be anywhere. Yes, Tex had narrowed down the search area, but it was still way too big.
They could’ve dragged her out of the car and into the thick woods, killed her, and left her for mother nature to take care of.
Or they could’ve dug a hole and dumped her in it.
The possibilities were endless, as were the number of places she could be. The search seemed hopeless.
The cops had tried to track Tamika’s phone, but they hadn’t found it and it seemed as if the data hadn’t been uploaded to the cloud yet, so they were working blind.
The only thing they could do right this moment was split up and drive the roads looking for some sort of clue as to where Marden and Tamika might’ve taken her—skid marks on the gravel road, trampled grass, blood—then head into the trees on foot for a more thorough search.
There was no way they could cover a fraction of the countryside on foot in any reasonable amount of time.
“Don’t.”
Shadow looked over at Grinder. They’d paired up, and were in his friend’s Grand Cherokee.
They’d been driving on every dirt road—and every offshoot of those dirt roads—all night.
But the more time that passed, and the more trees they drove by, the more he wondered if they’d already driven right past Brinley.
If she was lying just out of sight, unable to call for help, drowning in despair as they passed her by.
They had their windows down and were going no more than ten miles an hour, straining to hear even the smallest sound that would alert them to her presence, and desperately trying to catch a glimpse of any signs of a struggle or a path someone might have made that led into the woods.
They also frequently called her name, with no response.
The more time that passed, and the more reports they got from their teammates and the other searchers with absolutely no results, the more it sank in that he might’ve truly lost Brinley.
Shadow squeezed his eyes shut and tried not to cry.
“I mean it, don’t stop believing that she’ll be found.”
“Alive?” he asked, as he looked over at his friend.
Grinder stopped the vehicle and reached over and squeezed Shadow’s shoulder. “Brinley is tough. She’s strong. And she’s smart. I have no idea what happened out here, but if there was a way for anyone to survive whatever those assholes had in store for her, she did it.”
“People disappear without a trace every damn day,” Shadow said, looking his friend in the eye. “Their loved ones go their entire lives wondering what happened to them and where they are. I can’t do that.”
Grinder didn’t speak. Didn’t give him any more useless platitudes. They both knew the odds of finding Brinley fell with every minute that passed. They could have thousands of people out here searching and still not find her.
The police killing both Louis and Tamika meant they’d lost their best chance of finding Brinley.
Shadow wanted to believe she was still alive, wanted to trust the gut feeling he had that she was out there, waiting for him to find her, but it was getting more and more difficult.
Reality was setting in. He might never see her smile again.
Might never see those adorable freckles on her face.
Might never again sleep with her snuggled up to his side.
One thing Shadow did know was that if he found her, they weren’t spending one more night apart, ever again, outside of his deployments.
He was done keeping his feelings and his needs to himself.
He’d lay it out. Tell her that he wanted her to move in.
That he wanted to marry her. Make sure she understood beyond a shadow of a doubt how important she was to him, how much he loved her.
He should’ve already said all those things.
“Look!” Grinder whispered, as he pointed at the windshield.
Shadow’s head whipped up, hoping he’d see some clue related to Brinley…but instead he saw a huge moose with three calves trailing behind her, walking along the road.
He’d seen his share of moose since he’d been stationed in Fairbanks. Being out in the bush with the various platoons that he and his fellow Deltas trained meant they were in bear and moose territory more often than not.
But seeing triplets was a rare occurrence.
The animals didn’t even seem to notice the humans stopped in the middle of the road, which was probably a good thing, as moose were typically very protective of their young.
Neither man spoke as they watched the moose continue toward them.
The windows in the vehicle were down, and Shadow could smell the musk of the animals as they slowly went by.
When the mama walked past his side of the vehicle, so close that Shadow could’ve reached out and touched her, she turned her head.
She looked right at him, and Shadow held his breath. The moment was utterly surreal. Her brown eyes seemed to bore right into him. Almost as if she wanted to tell him something.
Then she was gone. Her calves scampering after her without a care in the world, secure in the knowledge that their mama would protect them from harm.
“Holy crap,” Grinder whispered.
Suddenly, all of Shadow’s doubts fell away.
It was ridiculous, there was no reason for anything to be any different than it had been a moment ago.
But something about that moose made him believe he and Grinder were on the right track.
That Brinley was alive. She might be struggling, but she was alive.
Many of his fellow Delta operatives talked about “gut feelings,” sharing stories about life-or-death decisions based on nothing but pure instinct, and he was no different.
He’d been just about to tell Grinder to turn around.
They were on the edge of the area of where Tex calculated Tamika and Louis might’ve traveled.
There were several dirt tracks they’d skipped to stay on the path they were on, and they’d planned on driving down each one after reaching the perimeter of their assigned search area.
But something was screaming at Shadow to stay the course. To keep going down the road they were on.
“Keep going,” he told his friend.
“Are you sure? Tex said—”
“I’m sure.”
Grinder didn’t question him again, simply nodded and took his foot off the brake and inched forward. Shadow alternated between scanning the trees to his right and watching out the front windshield. He didn’t know what he expected to see, but anticipation swam in his veins. A feeling of expectation.
He and Grinder moved along the barely there ruts in the road for another ten minutes. They were driving at a snail’s pace, but Shadow wasn’t annoyed in the least. He wasn’t wishing they could go faster, wasn’t feeling helpless.
Out of the blue, Grinder slammed on the brake, the seat belt catching Shadow tightly as his body rocked forward. He didn’t need to ask why his friend had stopped so suddenly. He saw the reason.
Something was moving on the side of the road.
Whatever it was had to be at least a half mile away, and with the dim morning light it was hard to make out.
“Is that…”
“Go! Go, go, go!”
Shadow’s heart was beating out of his chest.
That was no moose.
Not a bear.
It was a person.
And there was literally only one person in the world it could be, as far as Shadow was concerned.
Grinder floored it, tires spinning as they fought for traction in the dirt. Shadow had his seat belt undone and his fingers around the door handle, ready to jump out the second they got close. He heard his friend using the radio to call Atlas and inform him of what was happening.
As they neared, Shadow didn’t dare take his eyes off the figure now just standing on the side of the road.
It was Brinley.
They’d found her!
It was a fucking miracle.
She was stock still, staring at the car with wide eyes. No, with one wide eye. As Grinder stopped the car, Shadow could see that one eye was completely swollen shut.
He jumped out of the car and rushed to her side.
“Hi.”
Her greeting was so nonchalant. So typical Brinley. She wasn’t hysterical. Wasn’t crying. Was simply swaying on her feet with a small smile on her face.
Shadow wanted to grab her. Hold her tight. But he could tell by the way she was standing that she was in extreme pain. And the bruises on her face and neck told the story of the hell she’d been through.
“Brin…!” he croaked.
“You found me.”
“I think you found us,” he corrected, reaching for her. He wrapped an arm gently around her waist and pulled her into him, feeling her sag immediately. She gave him all her weight. Or more accurately, collapsed against him.
He wanted to cry at seeing the ugly marks around her neck.
Her face was completely white, the freckles he loved so much nearly transparent on her cheeks.
There was dried blood around her mouth from a split lip, her hair had dirt and leaves in the strands, and it looked so tangled, it would probably take at least an hour to get it brushed out.
Her clothes were torn, filthy, and she smelled like fear and sweat.
But she was alive. Holy shit, she was alive.
“I love you,” Shadow blurted, unable to hold the words back. “So damn much!”
Her smile was lopsided now, and tired, but she didn’t hesitate to respond. “I love you too. You’re the reason I kept going, even when I wanted to give up. I wanted to be able to tell you.”
Shadow gently pulled her closer until they were plastered together from hip to chest, and he buried his head in the space between her shoulder and neck.
He didn’t hold her as tight as he wanted, terrified of hurting her worse than she already was.
He had so many questions. But they could wait.
For now, all he wanted to do was hold her, feel her against him.