Chapter 7 #2
“Did you want to … if you weren't planning on doing anything else … I was wondering if you wanted to …” Josiah rubbed a hand along the back of his neck, his gaze darting about like he was nervous.
And he was.
Her big, tough, standoffish, always in a bad mood, retired Navy SEAL was nervous.
Amused, Chelsea held back a giggle, she didn't want to put him off whatever it was he was trying to ask, because she was dying to know what it was.
“I don’t have plans,” she supplied, not real ones anyway. A nap could definitely wait until later, and while she wasn't feeling amazing, she wasn't feeling so bad that she couldn’t do whatever it was Josiah was trying to ask her to do.
“I was thinking maybe we could celebrate. Our success. Like you wanted to the other day.” Josiah said the words cautiously, almost like they tasted foreign in his mouth.
It was also pretty clear that he was expecting her to say no, like he’d already blown his chance by taking himself off to the gym after yesterday’s appointment with Dr. Wood.
Only there was no way he could ever blow his chances with her.
Chelsea wanted him more than she wanted to breathe.
She’d been smitten from the first moment she laid eyes on the broody SEAL, but she’d fallen in love with him a little bit at a time over the last several years.
Each time she saw the pain in his eyes, pain he tried so hard to hide.
Each time he did something that gave away how much he cared about their team.
Seeing how hard he worked, how dedicated he was, how he gave his all to each case that crossed their desks, it all had her falling a little more until she got to the point she was at now.
Hopelessly and eternally in love with Josiah Fleet.
“I would love to celebrate our successful visit with Dr. Wood with you,” she told him enthusiastically. “What did you have in mind?”
Seemingly caught off-guard by her response, Josiah froze.
She giggled when she realized he hadn't thought any further ahead than actually asking her.
“Pizza and a movie?” he asked hesitantly.
“Pizza and the hot tub?” she suggested instead. The medication she was taking to simulate some of her kidney failure symptoms had her muscles feeling tense and heavy. A long soak in the warm water sounded like heaven. “Or pizza, hot tub, and movie.”
Never in her life would she have guessed she’d see this big, muscled, mountain of a man squirm. But that’s exactly what he was doing, and she could guess why.
“You can leave the body armor on, I don’t mind.
I want you to feel safe, and I want you to feel relaxed.
You're both with me, Josiah.” Stepping closer, Chelsea hesitated for barely a moment before she reached out and placed her hand on Josiah’s forearm.
Beneath her palm, his muscles were coiled with tension, but he didn't push her away so she called it a win. “I’m going to go change, we can soak for a bit in the hot tub, then order pizza and watch a movie.”
If he really didn't want to, she wouldn't push him, but she hoped he would agree.
After a long moment, Josiah gave a sharp nod.
Victory.
“I didn’t bring anything to wear for swimming, so I’ll just have to wear my boxers,” he informed her, and she had to bite back a moan as images of his long, thick length, standing erect, flooded her mind.
“Uh, that’s okay,” she said quickly, praying her cheeks weren't flaming, giving away where her mind had gone.
Although the small spark in Josiah’s dark eyes told her they were, and he knew exactly what she had been thinking about. “Go and change, I’ll get everything ready,” he gave her a little nudge toward the stairs, and they both started for them.
She was a little slower than usual, and she half expected Josiah to brush past her, but he didn't. Instead, he stayed behind her, going at her pace. In the kitchen they parted ways, and she took the next two flights up to the master suite.
By the time she got there, she was a little breathless, a lot excited, and even more nervous. This was as close to a date as she was ever going to get with Josiah, and she wanted it to be … perfect.
This might be her only chance to convince him that he wasn't just safe with her, he could be everything with her if he just let himself believe it. While she knew she couldn’t force Josiah to reciprocate her feelings, she wanted so desperately for him to see her as more than a colleague.
Wishful thinking, but she couldn’t help herself.
Throwing off her clothes, she ferreted around in the drawers until she found two swimsuits. One was a sexy bikini, tiny scraps of hot pink material that she was sure was enough to drive any man wild.
But that was the thing.
She didn't want Josiah drunk on lust, she wanted him to see her as more than just a woman he could make out with. She wanted him to see her as a woman he could fall in love with if he could just let go of his survivor’s guilt.
That was what he was suffering from. She’d done some reading up on it and was as sure as she could be without having a degree in psychology or psychiatry.
Decision made, Chelsea went with the other swimsuit.
It was still a bikini because that was all she owned, but it was more modest, cute rather than sexy, in a pretty shade of baby pink.
Slipping into it, she twisted her hair up into a messy bun on the top of her head, covered the catheter site with a waterproof bandage, then headed back down the stairs.
By the time she stepped out onto the deck, Josiah was already there. He had the hot tub bubbling away, and he’d set up an array of snacks and drinks. Fruits and cheeses, all neatly sliced, sat on a large platter, and bottles of water, juice, and soda were lined up along the outdoor table.
Then there was her sexy SEAL. He was wearing boxers that did little to hide his tree trunk-like legs, and his huge length, and he still had on his Kevlar.
He stood facing the door, arms crossed, waiting for her.
When he saw her, his nostrils flared, and heat blazed in his eyes.
She watched her usually together guy drag in a breath before he took a step toward her.
“I’ll help you in,” he said, his tone brisk, but the hand that grasped her elbow trembled slightly, and she knew how far outside his comfort zone he’d stepped for her.
“Thanks,” she said, trying to keep her tone light, free from any sort of pressure. The last thing she wanted to do was spook him and send him running.
Rather than helping her in, he pretty much lifted her in, then somewhat reluctantly climbed in to join her. As the warm water bubbled around them, Josiah sat there so stiffly that it took everything she possessed not to lean over and massage the tension right out of him.
It was only knowing that would make things worse that had her restraining herself.
There were a million questions she wanted to ask him, about his past, what had happened with his team that had him needing to wear the vest continuously, she only knew about the loss of his team in generalities, not specifics.
There were other questions she wanted to ask, too, about his family and his childhood, about the things he liked and was interested in.
Basically, she wanted to gather every shred of information she could about this man.
But she didn't ask any of those questions, because Josiah was already pushing himself to his limits, and he was doing it all for her.
So instead, she settled into the water, tipped her head back, and let her eyes fall closed. “It’s okay, Josiah. We don’t have to talk. We can just be.”
At her words, she felt him settle even though she kept her eyes closed. For now, it was more than enough just to enjoy his company. She had no intention of pushing him, just proving to him that she was someone who could be trusted.
Only then would he contemplate handing over his trust.