Chapter 21
Chapter
Twenty-One
“You shouldn’t have done that, Chelsea,” Josiah growled.
“Sorry,” she said for probably the hundredth time in the last few minutes. Since she looked so guilty and apologetic, he let out a sigh and toned down his anger.
After all, he wasn't really angry, he was afraid.
“Don’t be sorry,” he muttered, dragging his fingers through his short hair and enjoying the slight sting on his scalp because it was something to focus on that wasn't the nausea swirling in his stomach.
“I am, you're clearly stressed, and you should be resting, and I definitely should have learned my lesson after last time,” Chelsea rambled, watching him with worried eyes and a nervous expression that he didn't like one bit.
She was in pain, he knew that, likely a whole lot more pain than he was in. All he had was a small hole in his side that had already been stitched up and would heal quickly, while Chelsea had broken ribs that would cause her pain with every breath she took.
Instead of getting her all stressed out and anxious, he should be doing everything within his power to keep her calm and relaxed so she was in as little pain as possible.
He hadn't just come close to losing her, if he had let his old fears take precedence over his feelings for Chelsea, she would quite literally be dead right now.
When Desiree Tilly started firing at them, or more specifically at her own daughter, then the bullet that hit Chelsea’s chest, right over her heart, wouldn't have been stopped by the Kevlar because he would have been wearing it. His wound had never been life-threatening but Chelsea’s had been a death sentence.
“Come here.” Even though she was merely inches away from him, sitting beside him on the bed they’d shared all night, it wasn't close enough. He needed to be able to feel her, hold her, know she was close and safe in his arms. “Sorry.”
“I'm really the one who should be sorry,” she said, even as she let him tug her against his chest. “You freaked out when I answered your mom’s call when we were at the townhouse, and then you explained to me how you’d been keeping your distance from them.
It was just when I saw how she’d blown up your phone with calls and messages, I could see how much she was worrying about you.
You're her baby boy and she loves you no matter what.
I just didn't want her to worry anymore.
I didn't know she was going to hop on a plane and fly over here.”
“It’s okay.”
“It’s not.”
Letting out a breath, Josiah forced himself to let go of the fear. If he could take off the body armor and give it to Chelsea, an act that saved her life, then he could face his parents.
“No, it really is okay,” he assured her.
Pulling her head back enough that she could look up at him, she studied him carefully with her gorgeous gray eyes. “It is?”
Dragging in a breath, trying to steady his nerves, he nodded.
“I don’t want to let fear and guilt rule my life anymore.
Part of me is always going to feel like I should have died in that desert along with the rest of my team, but I have to accept that I didn't. Everything you’ve said to me these last few weeks is true.
My team would want me to live. Honoring them is moving on, being happy, living my life, falling in love. ”
A smile immediately curled her lips up. “I told you already that you can't take that back. You said it, it’s out there, and there’s nothing you can do about it.”
“And I told you that I don’t want to take it back.
” Josiah wasn't going to lie, it was utterly terrifying having that declaration of love out there. It felt like tempting the universe to snatch Chelsea away from him. But it had had its chance to do that, had given him the option of hiding behind the vest or letting go, and he’d chosen letting go, saving Chelsea’s life in the process.
“I am never going to tire of hearing you say that.” Chelsea’s smile was so bright that he found himself wanting to do anything to keep it that way, even saying words that, while true, still felt weird coming out of his mouth.
“Love you, Chelsea.”
That smile of hers brightened further. “And I love you. So much. For so long now. I know everything isn’t going to be perfect and magical from here on out, you still have a lot to work through, but I’m going to be right there, loving you every step of the way.”
Which was the only way he could face this.
Especially what was going to happen any second now.
This second it appeared when the door to the hospital room was flung open.
Six years had passed since he’d last laid eyes on his parents in person, and they both looked older.
His mom’s hair had still had a smattering of chestnut in it back then, but now it was completely gray.
She’d put on a few pounds, and there were a few new wrinkles in her face, but nothing had changed the love in her eyes.
She was still his mom.
Despite the way she’d burst into the room, once her gaze landed on him, his mom froze. Standing there, like a deer caught in the headlights, seemingly unsure what she should do or say.
Behind her stood his dad. Like his wife, his dad had aged, his belly hanging slightly over the waistband of his jeans, a little less hair than had been there before, and definitely more wrinkles. But still his dad.
“I'm just going to go and get something to drink,” Chelsea murmured, trying to tug herself gently from his arms.
Instinct had him tightening his hold. He could do this, was doing it whether he was ready or not, but it would be so much easier with her by his side.
“Stay,” he ordered.
“I don’t want to intrude.”
“Stay,” his mom echoed, and Chelsea nodded and sank back into his arms.
Then like the dam had burst wide open, his mother was crying.
She hurried to the bed, wrapped her arms around him, and alternated between telling him how much she loved him and how angry she was that he’d shut her out.
His dad was there, too, patting his shoulder, holding his wife, not saying anything, but tears shimmered in his eyes.
“I’m sorry, Mom,” Josiah whispered, his face pressed against his mother’s neck, feeling very much like a little boy again.
“You should be,” his mom shot back, but there was no heat to her tone. “I should put you over my knee and give you the spanking of a lifetime, like you were a little boy again.”
“Mom, you never spanked me when I was a little boy,” he reminded her. Back then, his mom had been an expert at the long-winded, I'm so disappointed in you lecture. A skill he was sure she was going to resurrect, because he definitely deserved a lecture.
“Because I loved you too much to hit you.” His mom’s hands framed his face, and there was so much love in her gaze that his eyes grew misty. “I always loved you, my sweet son. I wish you hadn't shut us out, but it doesn’t mean I stopped loving you. Ever. Not for one single second.”
Same way Chelsea had never stopped loving him even when he gave her no reason to like him let alone love him. Automatically, his hand reached for Chelsea’s, and it didn't go unnoticed by his mom.
“And this must be your lovely Chelsea. It’s an absolute pleasure to meet you, dear,” his mom said, turning her warm smile to the woman at his side.
“It’s nice to meet you, too, Ma’am.”
“Pfft, we don’t do ma’ams in our family, dear.”
“Mrs. Fleet then,” Chelsea corrected.
“So polite, dear. You can call me Melanie, and maybe one day, Mom, when you're part of the family,” she added with a sly smile that slid between the two of them.
Chelsea laughed. “We can't tell you much about what we were doing undercover, but technically, I am part of the family since Josiah and I haven’t gotten our marriage annulled yet.”
A growl rippled through him at the very thought of ending their marriage.
It might not have started out real, at least on his part, but it had grown into the most real relationship he’d ever had.
Chelsea was right, he had a lot of emotional work still to do to even come close to being the kind of man she deserved, but he’d do that work, no matter how hard it was because he wanted to be a man worthy of her.
A husband worthy of her.
“Married?” His mom clapped her hands in delight.
“Thank you, dear. For bringing my son back to life. I thought I’d lost him, but now I have him back, and a new daughter-in-law as well.
” Placing a hand over his and Chelsea’s joined ones, she squeezed.
“Now do I get to help you both plan a wedding celebration?”
Josiah groaned, Chelsea laughed, and his dad clapped him on the back.
“I think you’d better go along with this one, son,” his dad said. “You owe it to your mom and your girl.”
Truer words had never been spoken. He had a lot to make up for. He’d let grief and guilt turn him into someone who had pushed everyone else away to survive. But for the people he loved, who loved him back, he was going to do his best to disassemble those walls.
May 20th
5:16 P.M.
“You going to tell me where we’re going?” Chelsea asked, eyeing Josiah somewhat suspiciously.
After they’d finally been discharged from the hospital—well after they’d insisted they were leaving either way, so a doctor may as well sign them out—he’d had someone bring his truck to the hospital and bundled her into it.
Although she’d asked him at least two dozen times in the last thirty minutes where they were heading, he was yet to crack.
Sneaky little thing.
He was up to something, she knew it, and she hated being left out of secrets. Well, this kind anyway. A surprise birthday was totally different, but she wanted to know why Josiah was all tickled pink.
It was so amazing seeing him this way. There was a spark of life in his eyes that hadn't been there before, a flicker of peace that she was praying continued to grow over the next days, weeks, months, and years.