Chapter 9 #2
Mary beat the tears back at the endearment.
Had something deep inside him really remembered her as he’d claimed?
She cleared her throat and said, “He was the first man to hurt me, but he wasn’t the last. I tried to prove my mom wrong time after time, but eventually I realized she was right.
All the men I dated were using me for one thing or another.
Some wanted something tangible—a place to live, for example—but others just wanted sex or to try to make an ex jealous.
I didn’t want to admit that Mama was right, but I didn’t really have a choice. ”
“If it makes you feel any better, my childhood wasn’t exactly idyllic,” Truck said. “Although at least my parents didn’t flaunt their affairs in front of me.”
Mary sat up straighter. Truck had never talked about his family. Ever. She’d even asked Rayne to ask Ghost about it, and she’d reported back that Ghost didn’t know much about Truck’s life before he’d joined the Army. He never talked about his parents. Even to the men who were like brothers to him.
Truck looked away from her uneasily. “Although you probably know that already.”
“I don’t,” Mary said, holding his hand tighter when he tried to pull away from her. “You never talked about your family.”
“Really?”
She nodded.
“Yeah, probably because I don’t like to even think about my parents anymore.”
“What’d they do?”
Truck sighed. “They kept me fed and clothed, but they were never very loving. I started growing in middle school. I grew so fast, they had to keep buying me new clothes so I didn’t show up to school in high-water pants.
I was super skinny, no matter how much I ate.
I was a beanpole and the other kids definitely noticed.
“My dad wanted me to play basketball since I was so tall, but I was also uncoordinated back then. I didn’t make the team, not that I was surprised.
After that, it was as if my dad gave up on me.
He wasn’t interested in anything I did. If I couldn’t succeed in sports, he couldn’t be bothered to pay attention to me.
Neither him nor my mom wanted to hear about the bullying I went through.
I learned to take it. If I pretended the words didn’t hurt, then they usually gave up taunting and teasing me. ”
“I don’t understand why kids are so awful,” Mary said quietly. “I really don’t.”
“It didn’t help that my sister was super popular and beautiful.”
Mary jerked back and stared at him in surprise. “You have a sister?”
Truck nodded. “I guess I never told you that either, huh?”
She shook her head. “No. I had no idea. How old is she? What’s her name? Where is she now? I take it you aren’t close?”
Truck pressed his lips together. “Mercedes. But she hates that name. She always went by Macie. And once upon a time, we were extremely close. She’s almost five years younger than me.
She was going into ninth grade when I graduated and left for boot camp.
I haven’t talked to her since the night before I left. ”
“Why? If you were so close, what happened?”
“I’m honestly not sure. We had a fight the night before I left for basic training.
I didn’t like the boy she was dating, and she thought I was being too overprotective.
We yelled at each other, and then I left.
But I wrote her. I figured she’d get over it.
I guess she never did, because I never heard from her again. ”
Mary tightened her hand on his. “Truck…something had to have happened. I mean, you were both so young. She never wrote you back?”
He shook his head. “No.” His voice lowered.
“It hurt. It had been us against the world—and our parents—for so long, and it felt as if she’d abandoned me when I left.
Even when I got this,” he fingered the scar on his cheek, “I never heard anything from her. I wrote her for years. I think I was around thirty when I finally gave up. I had begged her to contact me, told her that whatever it was I’d done, I was sorry.
Told her that I loved her and wanted her to be a part of my life.
I thought about hiring a private detective to try to find her after I got hurt, after I realized just how awful my parents were, but after I thought about it for a while, it was more than obvious she didn’t want to be found. Didn’t want me in her life.”
“Do you… Never mind.”
“What?”
Mary paused, then asked the question that was on the tip of her tongue. “Is she still alive?”
“Yeah. My parents had no problem telling me what a perfect daughter she was every time they saw me. Granted, I haven’t talked to them in a long time, but I’m guessing she’s fine.”
Mary’s mind was racing. She couldn’t believe Truck had a sister that no one knew about. “Maybe if your parents were so awful to you, they did something to prevent her from contacting you. Maybe they were mean to her too, or threatened her in some way. Did you ever think about that?”
Truck stared at her for what seemed like forever before he said, “No. And what kind of brother and man does that make me, that I was so locked in my hatred for them that I didn’t even think about what they could be doing to Macie?”
“Don’t,” Mary warned, sorry she’d even brought it up.
“Whatever they did isn’t on you. So…Macie was popular and you weren’t?
” she asked, wanting to change the subject slightly and get back to what they were talking about before his huge revelation…
namely, his bullying. It was hard to believe a man like Truck was ever bullied.
Truck nodded and continued, “When I was in the tenth grade, I finally started filling out, but by then it was too late. I was the weird, tall, quiet kid. I was lonely a lot, as I didn’t have any friends.
I joined the local YMCA and started doing weights and running, just to keep my mind off how miserable I was.
I joined the Army right out of high school, and my dad actually laughed at me when I told him what I’d done. He didn’t think I’d be able to cut it.”
“But you did,” Mary said.
“Yup. Decided I was going to show him. I signed up for Delta Force and was thrilled when I was chosen. The training sucked, but every time I wanted to give up, I thought about those kids making fun of me and my dad telling me I would never amount to anything. I was going to go home and throw it in my dad’s face that not only had I done it, I was a force to be reckoned with.
I even thought about how proud Macie would be of me, and it kept me going.
But then I got this.” Truck gestured to his face once again.
“The Army contacted my family, and my parents came to see me in the hospital. It looked a lot worse back then, believe it or not, and my dad took one look at my ruined face and turned his back on me. They didn’t know I was conscious…
and he told my mom that at least they still had one good-looking kid.
He couldn’t stop talking about how hideous I looked, how no woman would have me now, even if I was some ‘hotshot killer’. ”
“That asshole!” Mary exclaimed. “He should’ve gotten down on his knees and thanked God you were alive.”
“Yeah, well, that was the last time I saw them. They were surprised when they found out I wasn’t unconscious and told them to get the fuck out, and that I was done with them. For good.”
“What did they say?”
“Nothing. They simply left.”
“I can’t believe that!” Mary said again, standing up and pacing in front of the couch. “I mean, you were hurt serving your country! How could they turn their backs on you?”
Truck grabbed her hand when she paced by and yanked her toward him.
Mary shrieked, not expecting the move, and landed with an umph on his lap.
He wrapped his arms around her and lay back, resting his head on the arm of the couch.
He shifted her until she was lying with her back to the cushions and her front plastered against his side.
Mary froze. All she could think about was her boobs. Were they still where they were supposed to be inside her bra? What if they’d shifted? The last thing she wanted was for Truck to look down and see one of her inserts sticking up from her shirt, or a lump in the middle of her stomach.
But all thoughts of her chest flew out the window when Truck lifted his head and buried his nose in her hair.
“What…what are you doing?” she asked shakily.
“You smell so good,” Truck told her.
“Um…you know this is weird since we just met,” she said, trying to put some space between them. She didn’t want the space, she’d missed him terribly, but she was trying to do the right thing.
“How long have you known me?” Truck asked, keeping his nose right where it was.
“Um…a couple of years.”
“So this isn’t weird,” he concluded.
“Truck!” Mary protested.
“Mary!” he countered. “Relax. I need this right now. I hate thinking about my parents, about my childhood. And you smell so good. Comforting. Give me a second.”
How could she keep resisting when he said things like that? She couldn’t. Besides, she loved being here with him. They’d lain just like this many times in the past. He’d held her when she’d felt sick from the chemo. They’d watched television or simply slept.
Mary melted into him and shifted one leg up and over his. Her arm wrapped around his huge chest and she let her head relax until it rested on his massive shoulder.
“You know, that explains so much,” she said after a minute or two.
“What explains what?”
“You never call people out when they’re being rude. When they stare at your scar like it’s the most fascinating thing ever. When people look down their noses at you. I’ve always wondered why.”
“It’s just not worth it. Besides, I have a feeling you probably stuck up for me more than once, didn’t you?”
Mary stiffened. Did he remember?
“I don’t remember you doing it, but after hearing you lay into Ruth tonight, I’m guessing you aren’t so reticent when it comes to people staring.”
She sighed. “Unfortunately, no.”
“Why unfortunately?”
“Because it makes people think I’m a bitch. And then they look at you with pity because you’re with me.”
“I don’t mind that you’re a bitch. How about this, you keep calling people on their rudeness, and I’ll make sure they know how happy I am to have you at my side.”
“Shit,” Mary said softly.
“What?” Truck asked.
“I’m not sure I can handle all this openness,” she said honestly.
“I take it we weren’t exactly chatty Kathys, huh?” Truck said with a chuckle.
“Uh, no.”
“I like this new version of us.”
“But you don’t remember the old version of us,” Mary said.
“True, but if we didn’t talk like this, and if I didn’t know about your bitch mama and you didn’t know about my horrible parents and Macie, then what we had was probably based on the wrong things.”
Boy, did he have that right.
Before she could agree, he inhaled deeply again. “You smell so…familiar. It’s like I’m having déjà vu.”
“Do you think that could be good?” Mary couldn’t help but ask.
“I have no idea. But at the moment, I don’t care.”
They stayed like that on the couch for another couple of hours.
Mary told him a few details about her friends, without mentioning names or many specifics…
except about Rayne. They also talked about their likes and dislikes.
They discussed the movie Deadpool and had a spirited argument about whether or not it could be classified as a romance.
When they finally seemed to run out of things to talk about, Mary asked, “How’s your head feel? ”
“Good,” Truck slurred.
“Really?”
“Yeah. I should go.”
“Don’t,” Mary said swiftly. “Stay.”
“I told you, young lady, that I wasn’t going to have sex with you,” Truck teased.
Mary giggled, then said softly, “I haven’t felt this good in months.”
“You really want me to stay?” Truck asked.
“Yeah.”
“Then I will. You want to get up and go to bed?”
Mary shook her head. “I’m comfortable here.”
His arms tightened around her for a moment before relaxing again. “Me too.”
“Truck?”
“Yeah, Mary?”
“We haven’t had sex together.”
He lifted his head at that. “Why not?”
“It’s a long story,” Mary prevaricated.
“But we’ve slept together.” It wasn’t a question.
“Yeah.”
“I thought so. This feels familiar to me. You in my arms. Snoring.”
“I don’t snore,” Mary protested, smacking his chest.
Truck’s hand came up and flattened her palm against his chest, his thumb brushing back and forth over it, as if to calm her.
“I’m glad,” Truck told her.
“Glad we haven’t had sex?” Mary asked in disbelief.
“Yeah. Because I think I would’ve hated knowing I’d been inside you and not remembering it. It makes me feel as if we’re more on the same level since we haven’t seen each other naked yet.”
“I didn’t say that,” Mary muttered.
His brow arched. “You’ve seen me naked?”
She shook her head. “No. Dammit. But you’ve seen me.”
“Fuck. I hate that I don’t remember.”
“I’m not much to look at.”
This time when his head came up, his eyes were sparkling with anger. “Don’t say that.”
“It’s true.”
“Look at me, Mare. Out of the two of us, I’m the one who isn’t much to look at.”
Mary scooted her hand out from under his and palmed his cheek. “You’re perfect.”
“As are you.”
“But you don’t know—”
“Shhhhh,” Truck soothed, cutting her off. “No one is getting naked right this second, so just relax.”
Mary put her head back on his shoulder but kept her hand on his cheek. He was so warm and alive under her. She knew that if he’d hit his head any harder, he might not be here at all.
“There you go,” Truck murmured. “Relax, Mare. This is the first time I get to sleep with you…and actually remember it. Let me enjoy it.”
“Brute,” Mary complained without heat.
She felt him chuckle, his chest rumbling under her, but she was too relaxed and happy to argue with him anymore. “I’m glad you’re here,” she told him.
“Thank you for defending me against that scary woman,” Truck returned. “I don’t know why she couldn’t figure out that I wasn’t interested.”
“Because you’re a catch,” Mary told him. “Of course she wanted you.”
“But I’m with you,” Truck complained.
Mary felt warm inside at his words. He hadn’t known he was with her when the other woman had come on to him, but something wouldn’t let him be attracted to her regardless. It felt good. Like hope. Hope that they might work out after all.
“Yes, you are,” Mary agreed.
“I’m glad you’re here too,” Truck told her. “Now, go to sleep.”
“Yes, sir,” Mary said cheekily.
“That’s more like it,” he said with satisfaction.
“Don’t get used to it, Trucker. I’m not usually so compliant.”
In response, he hugged her and ducked his head so his nose was in her hair once more. Mary had no idea why he liked smelling her shampoo so much, but she wasn’t going to complain.