34
Zephyr
I watched her leave.
Every muscle in my body screamed at me to stop her, to pull her back, but I didn’t move. My feet felt like they were glued to the ground, and my voice—strong and commanding in every other situation—was stuck in my throat. Phoenix, dressed only in her robe and no shoes, slipped quietly out the door like she didn’t belong here.
Maybe she didn’t. Maybe none of this should’ve happened.
Guilt gnawed at me, twisting in my gut like a knife. I wanted to stop her. I should have stopped her. But I stayed silent.
Kage was still fuming, his voice a low, angry growl as he continued to berate me. I barely registered his words, though. My attention was fixed on the door Phoenix had just walked through, my mind replaying the sight of her disappearing into the early morning, slipping away from us—away from me.
I didn’t stop her.
I could’ve. It would’ve taken two steps, maybe three, and I could’ve caught up with her, pulled her back into my arms. But I didn’t.
Kage was still yelling. I didn’t want him to notice she was gone, didn’t want him to realize I’d just stood there like a coward while the woman fate chose for us walked out the door.
Because that’s what I was—a coward.
Kage’s voice finally cut through the fog of my thoughts. “Are you even listening, Zephyr? What the hell is your problem? You’re acting like a damn idiot.”
I couldn’t respond. Not yet.
The truth was, it wasn’t just Phoenix I was scared of. It was what she represented.
My thoughts flashed back to my mother, the woman who had taught me everything I knew about betrayal. She was an Omega, too, and for a while, I had worshiped her. Like every young Alpha, I had believed my mother was perfect, flawless. But that illusion shattered when she left us—left me—without so much as a glance back.
She found a wealthier pack and abandoned us like we were nothing. I remembered the way she smiled as she walked out, that cold, hollow smile that had haunted me for years. She didn’t care about us. Not really.
I’d been too young to understand at the time, but as I got older, I realized what she was—a manipulator. Someone who used her Omega status to wrap men around her finger until she found something better, something more valuable. That’s when she dropped them, dropped us.
And I had spent every day since then building walls, fortifying them, and making damn sure I never let another Omega get close. Not emotionally. Not ever.
I couldn’t let that happen again. I couldn’t let Phoenix break me the way my mother had. And Phoenix… God, she was beautiful, strong, and full of fire. So I knew it was only a matter of time before she realized what I really was—a worthless Alpha, too broken, too damaged, too full of demons to be worthy of her.
Phoenix had already tasted some of those demons. The way I had treated her before the heat, the way I tried to push her away at every turn. But that wasn’t enough. She was stubborn, determined to see something good in me.
But she wouldn’t. Eventually, she’d see the truth. She’d realize I wasn’t good enough for her, that I wasn’t what she needed. And she would leave.
Just like my mother had.
That’s why I couldn’t stop her. Not today. Not when she had just walked out of the house with nothing but her robe and her phone, so vulnerable, so fragile. I knew I should’ve gone after her, brought her back, but I couldn’t do it. Because deep down, I was terrified of what would happen when she looked at me one day and saw the same thing my mother had seen.
Nothing.
Kage’s voice snapped me out of my thoughts again, but this time there was an edge to it, a new kind of fury. “Zeph… where’s Phoenix?”
My heart stopped.
I didn’t answer. I didn’t have to. The guilt must’ve been written all over my face, because Kage’s eyes widened in realization.
“She’s gone, isn’t she?”
he asked, his voice cold and dangerous.
I swallowed hard, my throat tight. “I didn’t stop her.”
Kage’s expression darkened, and I could see the rage building behind his eyes. “You let her leave?”
I nodded slowly, unable to meet his gaze. I was ashamed, more than I’d ever been in my life. I had failed them. I had failed her.
Kage didn’t waste another second. He bolted for the door, barefoot, his eyes wild as he scanned the street for any sign of Phoenix. When he didn’t spot her, he took off, sprinting down the pavement, calling her name. I followed but knew she was probably already gone. No trace of her lingered in the dim morning light.
I stood there for a moment, watching him disappear before finally turning and heading back inside. The silence felt suffocating, each second dragging like an eternity.
Minutes stretched into what felt like hours before the door slammed open again. Kage stormed inside, chest heaving, sweat dripping down his temples. His eyes burned with fury as they locked onto me.
“Why the hell didn’t you say anything?”
he demanded, stepping closer, his fists clenched. “We could’ve stopped her, brought her back. What the fuck is wrong with you?”
Before I could answer, before I could even think of a response, Kage’s fist connected with my jaw.
The force of the blow knocked me back a step, and I tasted blood as I stumbled, catching myself against the wall. But I didn’t fight back. I deserved it. Hell, I deserved worse.
Kage glared at me, his chest heaving with barely contained fury. “She trusted us. You were supposed to protect her.”
“I know,”
I muttered, wiping the blood from my lip. “I know.”
“You just let her walk out.”
Kage’s voice was thick with disbelief. “Why, Zeph? Why the hell would you do that?”
I couldn’t answer him. I didn’t have the words to explain the mess of emotions swirling inside me. The fear, the guilt, the scars from my past that had never fully healed.
Kage’s shoulders sagged as he realized just how badly I had screwed up. “We need to find her,” he said.
I nodded, even though I knew it was probably too late. Phoenix was gone. And it was my fault.
I watched the door, still half-expecting her to come back, but deep down, I knew she wouldn’t. Not after this.
◆◆◆
I’d really fucked up.
Kage and Parker hadn’t been speaking to me since the night she left, and I didn’t blame them. I’d betrayed her, betrayed all of them, in a way that wasn’t easy to come back from.
Still, I tried to help where I could. Tried to be useful even though the pack felt like it was unraveling at the seams. We were all going a bit feral without her. The tour had been postponed again, much to the label’s wrath, but to hell with it. None of us were in any shape to perform. My pack was more important than whatever bullshit contract we were bound to. We needed to find Phoenix.
Phoenix was the best thing that had happened to us in a long time. Before she came into our lives, we were a mess. I was with a different woman every night, Parker was drunk more often than not, and Kage… well, Kage would take whatever drugs crossed his path, never giving a damn about the risks. We were spiraling, and none of us even realized it.
But then Phoenix had shown up, all fiery determination and vulnerability, and without even trying, she’d started to bring us back to life. She gave us a sense of peace—something we hadn’t had in years. With her around, we didn’t need to lean on our vices as much. She was like a balm to all the damage we’d done to ourselves.
And I’d let her walk out the door.
I scrubbed a hand over my face as we pulled up to her apartment building in New York. We’d tracked her down by some less-than-legal methods, but it didn’t matter. We just needed to find her. Explain. Fix this.
We’d tried the airport first, but there hadn’t been any sign of her. No flights, no sightings. It was like she’d vanished. Now this was our last chance.
The building Phoenix was staying in was unremarkable, a quiet little complex nestled between a laundromat and a corner café. The brick exterior had weathered with time, but it held a certain charm, like it had stories to tell if you listened closely.
We slipped the landlord some cash to let us in. I didn’t like it, but we didn’t have time to play nice. He pocketed the money without a word, unlocked her door, and wandered off without asking questions.
Kage stepped inside first, and I followed.
The apartment was small, but it had a quiet warmth to it. Soft light filtered through gauzy curtains, casting a gentle glow across the modest space. A few throw pillows were tucked neatly on the worn but clean couch, a candle half-burned on the coffee table. Her shoes were lined up by the door. A tea mug sat in the sink, like she’d left in a rush but planned to return.
It wasn’t much—but it was hers.
And she was gone.
“Shit,”
Kage muttered, running a hand through his hair. “She’s not here either.”
I stood frozen in the middle of the room. She wasn’t here. Of course she wasn’t here. Why would she come back to this place? I’d driven her away, pushed her so far that she couldn’t even bear to stay in her own apartment.
Parker kicked at the leg of the couch, his frustration boiling over. “We should’ve been faster. We should’ve—”
“I know,”
I cut him off. I didn’t need him to finish the sentence. I knew exactly what we should’ve done, but it was too late now.
Kage was pacing, his jaw clenched in anger and something else—fear. “Where the hell could she have gone? We’ve checked everywhere.”
I sank down onto the edge of the bed, my head in my hands.
“We have to find her,”
I said, my voice hoarse. “We can’t just let her slip away. Not like this.”
“We’re trying,”
Kage snapped at me. “But she could be anywhere by now. And with the way you let her walk out believing we had her fired, it’s no wonder she doesn’t want to be found.”
He was right. I’d done this. I’d pushed her away with my fear, with my inability to be vulnerable, and now she was gone.
But I wasn’t going to let her go without a fight.
I stood up, squaring my shoulders, even though my heart felt like it was being squeezed in a vice. “We’ll find her. I don’t care how long it takes, or where we have to go, we’ll find her. And when we do, I’m going to fix this.”
Parker and Kage exchanged glances, both of them wary and doubtful. Their faith in me was lost. But that was okay. I wasn’t going to give up.
I would find Phoenix and then I would show her and my packmates that she wasn’t just another Omega in my life. She was more than that. She was everything.
And I was going to do whatever it took to bring her back where she belonged—with us.