Chapter 21
Chapter Twenty-One
Ant waded out of the water and lay his fishing rod down on the beach. ‘Hello, Rosie. What are you doing here?’
‘Dale brought me – I wanted to come say thank you for yesterday. And the roses.’
‘You’re very welcome. How’s the ankle?’
‘Oh,’ she said. ‘It’s terrible. I can’t put my weight on it at all.’ She let go of her crutches, and they clattered to the ground. Standing on one leg, she said, ‘I really need you to help me again, Ant.’
He shook his head a little, did the half smile. ‘Is that so?’ He came closer, and she hopped over the remaining space between them then put her arms around his neck and leaned into his chest.
‘My dad’s a keen trout fisherman,’ she said. ‘I was thinking I’d bring him up here; he’d love the Lakes. He’d love you too, if that’s not jumping the gun. I mean …’ She stopped. ‘God, that wasn’t what I meant to say.’
He put his hands on her waist and said quietly, ‘What did you mean to say?’
‘I suppose …’ she bit her lip, ‘that when I think of you, which has been rather a lot, my heart feels … kind of full? Like it’s about to explode?’ She blew out a breath. ‘C’mon, Rosie,’ she muttered.
Ant won’t make the first move, so you’ll need to.
‘Okay – so in writing, there’s this thing called show don’t tell. I think I probably need to do that.’ She stood on tiptoes and pressed her lips to his, quickly, then pulled away and looked into his eyes. ‘Would you mind if I did that again? Properly?’
He smiled. ‘Rosie – if I don’t kiss you properly, I might just lose my mind.
’ He raised a hand to her cheek, cupping it, stroking it with a thumb.
His beautiful eyes darkened, then he pulled her close, lowered his lips to hers and kissed her, at first gently, then properly.
Those familiar strong arms tightened round her, and she melted against him, her hands moving up from his neck to his hair, digging her fingers into it, drawing his head closer to hers, wishing the kiss would last forever.
Far too soon, he stopped. ‘Are you sure about this?’ he said, his voice husky, stroking back her hair.
‘When you know, you know.’ Finally, she’d said something that made sense.
‘You said yesterday you were on the rebound.’
‘Yes, I was – from a man who was so, so wrong for me. It’s amazing what a moment on a mountaintop can reveal. Or a canal bridge, but I’ll save that story for later.’
‘I see. But Rosie, you rebounded straight into Dale’s arms.’
Make way – the elephant has arrived in the room.
‘Under the pernicious influence of poetry-themed cocktails. He took advantage, and he’s now apologised.’
‘Right.’
He waited for her to say more. Bloody hell. Ant was hot, and gorgeous, and sweet, and most certainly knew how to kiss, but man was he hard work.
She considered her words carefully. ‘Like you said – there’s more to Dale than meets the eye, especially when it comes to looking out for his best mate.
But … it’s you I have all the feelings for.
One hundred per cent of them.’ She swallowed.
‘Ant …’ She took his hand, lacing her fingers through his.
‘I know what happened, on Helvellyn. Dale and I talked about it this morning. I’m so sorry for what you two have been through. ’
Ant nodded. ‘I thought you’d know by now.
’ He looked out across the lake. ‘Dale’s never blamed me – never so much as hinted that if I hadn’t insisted he stayed home that day, because …
’ He tailed off, emotion playing across his features.
‘He’s never said it – that if he had come with us, Gemma might still be alive. ’
‘You were going to propose, I know,’ Rosie said. She looked down at his hand in hers, wondering if the ring he always wore had been carried up Helvellyn that day. ‘Of course you wanted to do that alone. No way should you feel any guilt.’
He looked down at her, his eyes troubled.
‘I can’t imagine how terrible it must have been for you,’ she said. ‘And for Dale – I guess losing his twin would be like losing half of himself. No wonder he’s floundering around trying to fill that space in his life.’
Ant nodded. ‘I wouldn’t have got through without him. I owe him. It’s why I need to be sure …’
‘Sure?’
‘That he’s not for you. He’s so … well.’ He gave a small laugh. ‘All the girls like him, and I saw that you did too. But you understand him, whereas most people don’t.’
Rosie smiled. ‘Honest? I thought about a fling, because my self-esteem needed a boost, and Dale was very hard to say no to. But the way he treated Madison opened my eyes, and then I properly got to know you and I fell … oh, nice little pun there, Ant. I fell, and then I fell. On a fell.’
Ant closed his eyes for a moment.
‘It took me by surprise,’ she went on, ‘but the feeling was – is – so strong. Full disclosure – I’ve never felt like this before. It just feels so right.’
He took his hand from hers and traced his fingers down her cheek, then along her lips, and she shivered.
‘From the moment I saw you wading through that stream –’ He shook his head a little, ‘– can’t explain, but there was something about you.
It was almost like I knew you from somewhere.
’ He kissed her again, and his hands moved down, pulling her hard against him.
‘I haven’t had a moment’s peace since,’ he muttered.
‘I hope I might bring you peace,’ she said, reeling from the kiss, ‘though Dale called me “chatty”, which he said was the opposite of you, and you’ll probably find that quite annoy–’
He silenced her with another kiss, and it went on for a long, long time.
He stopped, and hugged her to him, stroking her back. ‘You live so far away. How would we do this?’
‘Remote working,’ she said, catching her breath.
‘Doesn’t get much remoter, right?’ She explained about Madison’s book.
‘I’m thinking I might park myself up here for a while.
Madison’s going to stay for as long as I need her face to face, then we can carry on by Zoom or whatever.
I guess I’ll find a rental for a few months.
I was going to move out of my London flat anyway; it’s too expensive for one. ’
‘So you’ll be staying for a while – that’s great news.’
They were quiet, and Rosie tuned into the gentle lapping of the waves, the birdsong, the soft, cool caress of the mountain breeze.
‘Did you catch anything?’ she asked.
‘No. Couldn’t focus.’ He gave her a squeeze.
She lifted her head from where it had been resting on his chest. ‘You know, I thought up north was all chimneys and mills and rows of houses like in Coronation Street. And grim moorlands and terrible weather.’
Ant nodded. ‘That’s quite accurate, actually. But Cumbria’s got this surprise part.’
Rosie laughed. ‘I guess the next few weeks will show me what the north’s really about. I think I’m already in love.’ She paused. ‘With it.’
‘Well – there’s a flat above the shop,’ he said. ‘We’ve been using it for storage, but we could shift stock into the spare room so it was liveable. If you were interested?’
‘Oh my gosh, really?’
‘Mate’s rates.’
‘I’m at the hotel until next weekend,’ said Rosie.
‘That’d give us a few days to get it ready.’
This was moving so fast, and it felt as if Fate was cheering Rosie along the final stretch towards a finish line.
‘Want to take a look?’ he asked.
‘Love to.’
‘Let’s get you to the car then – I’ll come back for the gear.’
He scooped her up and carried her along the beach, and she rested her head on his shoulder. This was all so new, so sudden, but so right. She’d never felt so sure of anything in her life.
On the drive back they didn’t say much, and Rosie now understood the appeal of ‘companionable silence’.
Her parents always put on the car radio, Reuben had listened to political podcasts, or his (his) playlists, interspersed with his thoughts on the uselessness of every driver around him and why the fuck they’d coned off the dual carriageway again.
Ant drove calmly, if a little slowly, giving way to other drivers, waving them on, never complaining that they were tourists with no idea of the width of the road.
Rosie gazed out of the window, marvelling at the prettiness of this place, almost unable to believe she’d get to live and write here, at least for a while. Maybe longer.
Occasionally Ant pointed out fells he’d climbed with Wainwright (who was lying in the back, lifting his head each time he heard his name).
‘Which is your favourite walk?’ she asked. ‘And can we do that together?’
‘Sure. Haystacks, probably. You’d enjoy Cat Bells.’
She looked at him. ‘Haystacks? Cat Bells? For real? Did the poetry extend to naming fells?’
‘No no – the names are ancient. The word “fell” has Norse origins, from the time of the Vikings.’
‘Wow.’
‘And most of them come from something to do with their physical appearance. Cat Bells I think means the place of wildcats – they were common here once, if you can believe that.’ He looked over at her. ‘Then there’s Cockup, Great Cockup and Little Cockup.’
‘Shut up.’
He chuckled. ‘See that fell there, towards the northwest?’
‘In English, please.’
‘Ahead to your left, at the end of that wide valley, the furthest one away.’
‘I see it.’
‘Another lovely climb. Great End.’ His face remained expressionless.
‘Great End? They should rename it Madison’s Bottom.’
‘Funny, that’s what I was thinking too.’
The Hill and Dale car was parked outside the shop, so Ant drove on past and pulled up in a parking space near the church. ‘Leave your crutches,’ he said, ‘I’ll drop you back at the hotel later.’
He supported her round the waist, and they made their way to the back of the shop, where there were two doors. He unlocked one, let Wainwright in, then helped her up a steep flight of stairs. At the top was a lounge looking out over the village green. It was piled high with boxes.
‘Kitchen’s through there,’ he said, waving at an open doorway, ‘small but there’s everything you’d need. The flat was let out furnished so it’s well equipped.’