Chapter 10
Ambrose
My shoulders tensed as I heard her whisper something to the Vesten God. I was almost out of the room, but I had excellent hearing thanks to my wolf. The words were too whispered to decipher, but she did not sound happy.
Some part of me was pulled back toward the hiss of her voice, like maybe she required me for whatever debate they were having. The urge was stronger than I cared to admit.
Another part of me heard my father’s voice in my head, warning me of the dangers of the restricted section. The least I could do was tell Gabriel our plan. I nodded to myself and proceeded toward his office.
Evelyn hadn’t asked for my help. I had no idea where this protective instinct was coming from. Likely from the same part of me that didn’t want to be away from her. Every step I took twisted that knot in my chest a little tighter.
So, I focused on something else.
At least if Lord Arctos and Evelyn spent the next ten minutes arguing, they couldn’t sneak into the restricted section while I got permission.
As I took the stairs two at a time, I was torn between hoping they argued a while longer and marveling at the audacity of Evelyn to fight that way with the Vesten God.
I remembered coming to the library to visit my father as a child.
He had often been behind the roped-off area.
I was never allowed in. When I questioned him, he’d say that some things shouldn’t be known.
The words had never sat well with me, especially from someone who worked in a position where knowledge was key.
Even as I questioned them, they remained in my mind.
It occurred to me that he hadn’t heeded his own words, and it had cost him.
Now, here I was, years later, with Evelyn’s taunts replaying in my mind, wondering if Father’s reason was good enough.
What if the knowledge was handled with care and caution?
I considered the reckless test the Vesten Point had conducted with Lord Arctos.
Might there be situations in which it was more dangerous not to know?
Maybe the best we could do was learn what we could to prepare for any eventuality.
My hand swept through my hair before I could stop it.
I was halfway to Gabriel’s office but wondered if it wouldn’t be so bad if I didn’t get permission.
What if I just walked into the restricted section and grabbed whatever books I wanted?
What if Lord Arctos sat on my shoulder and directed me to whichever journal of Kenna’s he wanted us to read?
Should I be concerned that he’d started the conversation with Evelyn instead of me? We were competing for the position of Vesten historian, after all.
At the thought of Evelyn, the uncomfortable twist in my chest was back. This insistent tug in her direction was becoming increasingly inconvenient. I’d felt her distance when she left the ferry this morning. Felt every step that she put between herself and me as I stood on the boat.
What was going on? And why did she seem so unaffected?
Yes, I found her attractive. My wolf certainly liked her, but that didn’t warrant this type of behavior. She’d never done anything but express exasperation and general dislike of me.
I guessed that wasn’t true. She seemed to enjoy discussing theories with me, like I did with her. That glow she seemed to effuse as we solved a problem, the excitement just below the surface every time we agreed on a hypothesis, that wasn’t faked.
But now there was this contest. We were pitted against each other for a position my father had trained me for. Worse, she wanted it, too.
I sighed, having arrived outside of Gabriel’s office. My hand raised to knock before I could consider how silly my explanation might sound.
“Come in.”
Gabriel sat behind his desk. His hair was mussed, and his shirt was wrinkled. I wondered when he’d last left the library. He’d looked ragged for days. It made sense that he was working long hours, given that his beloved son required this information. Gabriel would do anything for him.
The head librarian peered up at me from behind whatever book he was reading. He must have asked something that I missed, as silence hung between us.
“Sorry, what did you say?” I asked, running my hand through my hair again.
He chuckled. “I know the feeling. My question was along the lines of, how can I help you, Mr. Yarrow?”
“Ah, right.” I was suddenly nervous, as if the whole trip had been the wrong decision.
There was no way Gabriel would say no, right?
I scratched the back of my neck as I found the words.
“Lord Arctos thought we might gain some insights from reading one of Kenna’s journals in the restricted section. I wanted to make sure you knew.”
Gabriel’s smile was one of pity. “We?”
I swallowed, realizing my mistake. “Yes, me and Ms. Knowles.”
“And you think that the god of our court and the researcher you claim pushes every boundary waited for you to get approval before walking into the restricted section?”
His eyes twinkled with fondness, even though his smirk was slightly condescending.
I knew I was being ridiculous; his pointing it out was unnecessary.
But Father had paid a high price for not heeding his own warnings.
The least I could do was keep them in mind in my research.
The rules were there to protect us and those around us.
My justifications were weak, even to myself.
“Alright, then. You have my approval,” Gabriel said.
His response was so easy. It only made me feel more foolish. I turned to leave, ready to see how much I’d missed in the Great Room. They’d probably already read the entire journal and were on to some new part of the investigation.
Gabriel cleared his throat behind me. “Ambrose.”
I glanced at him over my shoulder.
“I didn’t hire you because of who your father is.” He tapped his fingers on the desk as if unsure how to proceed. “Did you ever wonder why I approached you to research blood magic?”
The question was one I had almost asked a hundred times. I just wasn’t sure I wanted to know the answer. Gabriel knew my father’s view on blood magic. He should have expected me to say no to his request immediately. Yet I hadn’t.
Gabriel didn’t wait for my answer. “You are our best historian. You know every date, and you understand the historical context of every era. Why not leave you to what you’re good at?”
“Did you think I’d say no?”
The small smile that crossed his lips was brief as he shook his head.
“I hoped you wouldn’t. You are diligent, inquisitive, and make connections throughout history that others miss.
I knew you’d apply the same skills to this new critical study, if you could get past …
well, if you could get past what your father thinks about blood magic. ”
The words washed over me, but it felt like a fire was crackling in my ears, stopping the words from truly soaking in. Father had always claimed he was the one who got me hired. He said his word still carried weight at the library. It sounded like Gabriel had hired me despite my father.
“Thank you for the opportunity, sir.”
With that, I hurried back to the Great Room.
Evelyn stood next to the study carrel that I had claimed today.
Even though I now knew where the chair for the desk across from hers was hidden, its location sent a clear message about whether I was welcome.
I folded my arms over my chest as I approached.
She looked … sheepish was the best word I could come up with. Her foot dragged back and forth across the floor, and she didn’t make eye contact when I entered the room. Her shoulders hunched forward slightly, at odds with the fierce posture with which she usually carried herself.
My wolf awakened then. All senses were on high alert, even though nothing seemed quite so bad now that Evelyn was back in my sights.
I need to address this line of thought sooner rather than later.
The black bird was gone. Something was wrong.
I could see it in the way she held herself, in the slow movement of her foot, and the slight downturn of her lips.
Had she tried to get into the restricted section and something had happened?
She didn’t look hurt. My pace quickened, closing the distance between us.
I reached out and touched her arm to get her attention. “Evelyn. What’s wrong?”
Finally, on a deep breath, she looked up at me through long lashes. I was momentarily speechless at the sight.
“Did something happen? Did you try to get the journal?”
Her brow furrowed in confusion. Then she slowly shook her head, pointing to a book I hadn’t noticed yet on the desk of my study carrel. “Lord Arctos showed me which book to get while you got permission.” The hint of a smile was there and gone on her lips.
“Then what’s the problem?”
Her foot swept back and forth again across the floor. I remembered taking the same posture when I was a child and accidentally broke one of Mother’s vases the first time I shifted.
“Evelyn. You’re worrying me.” That … whatever it was twisted in my chest, even though she stood right in front of me.
“You said you were looking for me this morning in the woods.”
I nodded, not sure where this was going.
“And is that unusual for you? To be looking for me?”
What an odd question, though it was one I’d mentally been avoiding. Yes, I liked seeing her at the library. Yes, I thought about her more often than was probably considered normal. Her question was valid, though. It was unusual for me to try to find her.
My wolf paced back and forth in my head as I admitted, “It was unusual, yes.”
My hand ran through my hair again of its own accord. The move appeared to tug her lip into a small smile. At least she wasn’t threatening to report me for stalking.
“I can sense when you’re not near me,” she said.
Heat flooded my body at the words. She didn’t just say that, did she? She sensed my presence?
“Something inside me is rather insistently drawn to you.”
Well, this was completely unexpected. I’d been under the impression that my feelings were entirely unrequited. What was she saying? Was I dreaming? My wolf’s tail flicked back and forth in my head with excitement, a sign that I was very much awake.
Before my mind wandered too far, I remembered the look on her face when this conversation had started. The way she’d been waiting rather nervously by my desk. My stomach plummeted like a stone sinking in the bay.
I don’t know how I put it together, but before the words were past her bow-shaped lips, I knew what she would say. My whole body flushed as I pushed every idiotic part of me that had secretly hoped this was some declaration of her feelings back into the box tucked deep inside my chest.
Then the words came.
The reason for this tug in her direction.
The slight, inexplicable twisting in my chest when she wasn’t near. It could be explained—I just hadn’t wanted to consider it. The cut on her finger when we’d shared a meal yesterday. The wound from my run reopening. This information pointed to a single conclusion.
I couldn’t believe my stupidity.
Part of me wanted to stop her. Once she said the words, we couldn’t ignore them. But Evelyn was so much braver than I was.
“We accidentally bound ourselves together last night.”