Chapter 20
Ambrose
We parted briefly to pack for the trip. I hated that Lord Arctos was right.
The thrum in my chest pulsed as we separated.
I thought our conversation had gone well.
She had told me her plans to find her fae father and how her mother considered him missing.
The resolve in her features as she spoke, the sadness mixed in, it didn’t take her admission to know she didn’t share that with many.
How could sharing it have done nothing to change the magic connecting us?
As I slipped into my parents’ apartment, I rubbed my chest. The connection was just shy of discomfort. If our first attempt had failed, we would need to try again. At least we had time together to test alternative ideas.
It was about a two-day ride on horseback to Compass Lake.
Lord Arctos was correct, though; we could be faster in our shifted forms. I wasn’t confident that was an option for Evelyn.
Her glare before we left the tavern tonight had not been reassuring.
I pocketed more of the red cinnamon candies I had given her to help distribute her fire magic as heat to her limbs.
If she let me, I could show her how to use the candy to help control her shift, too.
We’d cross that bridge when we came to it.
Father greeted me with a question from his seat on the couch as I entered. “Ambrose?”
“Ambrose, is that you?” Mother had returned from a trip earlier this morning.
She and Father hadn’t been happy to hear from the twins that Evelyn was at my apartment for breakfast. Part of sticking close to my family meant that I had the illusion of privacy—my own space—but that nothing was truly secret.
Maybe the twins could be bribed to keep quiet when they got a little older.
Mother appeared, coming out of the kitchen.
She was shorter than Father and me, and slimmer in stature.
Her hair was a deeper brown than my auburn, but other than that, I could see my features in hers.
She brought a cup of tea to Father while the twins, for once, entertained themselves quietly in the corner with some books.
“It’s me. I came by to tell you I’ll be out of town for a few days.”
“Were you selected to meet the Vesten Point at Compass Lake?” Father clapped his hands together before accepting the tea. “That’s as good as granting you the position.”
I scratched the back of my neck. “Both Evelyn and I are going.”
Mother’s lips tipped into a smile, but they flattened immediately when she glanced at Father.
“Both? That can’t be right.” He took a sip of his tea. “Your mother was just at Compass Lake to collect some new pieces for Mr. Oliver. She said the Vesten Point was expecting the new historian to visit imminently. It can’t be the half-fae girl.”
My wolf’s hackles raised automatically. “Her name is Evelyn.”
He waved dismissively. “I meant no offense. It has nothing to do with her breeding and everything to do with her reckless testing—with her focus on blood magic above all else.”
We’d had a similar conversation this morning.
It had made me late to the library to meet Evelyn, but none of it seemed to have sunk in with my father.
“I told you she’s not reckless. She’s studied the magic for years.
Her tests are thoroughly considered. Yes, there is always risk with the magic, but she manages it the best she can. ”
“Ahh, but that’s the problem, isn’t it? The risk is always there.” Father took another sip of his tea.
“We can’t live in fear of what could happen. At some point, we have to consider the benefits of the magic.” I winced. Was it cheesy to use the old fae tagline in this? Yes. But was it one Father respected? Unfortunately, also yes.
He hmphed in response.
“Anyway, Lord Arctos is sending us both. I have to go. I just wanted to let you know.”
“That’s wonderful,” Mother said.
I had to hand it to her; she was a rock, weathering any of Father’s storms. He had his own thoughts on who should have the position of Vesten historian—me—and how I should use it—to learn from history instead of testing new theories on blood magic.
Mother, on the other hand, tried to see the best in everything.
She never went against Father’s wishes explicitly, but she consistently looked for the silver lining.
As I considered my parents, one of Evelyn’s questions from this afternoon resurfaced: Is that why you stay?
Even though the rest upsets you. Did either of my parents see my discomfort—my confusion—as clearly as Evelyn did?
I wasn’t sure her conclusion was correct.
The magic didn’t upset me, but the conflict between what I wanted to attempt and Father’s warnings was constant.
My internal struggle materialized into something Evelyn had noticed.
Did anyone else? Father, well, he stubbornly refused to see anything that didn’t align with his plan for me. Mother, I think her glass-half-full attitude sometimes stopped her from noticing hard truths. It wasn’t bad. I loved her optimism.
The history, you love the history, though, right? Evelyn saw that clearly. If I could find my way through my conflicting feelings on blood magic, I would be a lot happier. What did it say about me that someone who disliked me so strongly was the one who saw me so clearly?
Maybe it’s not all dislike. My wolf paced with excitement.
I shook my head. “I should only be a few days.”
“Go, go. We’ll be fine without you,” Mother said.
Father shot her a glare, but I didn’t wait to see what he would say. I walked across the room to kiss my siblings on their foreheads, each one barely acknowledging my existence while they read their book. Then I left to pack.
Evelyn stood just outside of town, waiting for me. Her arms were folded over her chest, and I couldn’t help but notice that her foot tapped lightly against the ground. Was she ever late for anything?
I must have asked the question aloud because she responded: “My mom always said if you’re not fifteen minutes early, you’re late.”
“Well, that clears up a lot about your opinion of my arrival time at the library.” I shot her a smirk. “See, we’re getting to know each other when we’re not even trying.”
Her cheeks pinkened, and her heartbeat accelerated.
To my utter delight, that new development had started as soon as I was in sight.
It was funny that her heart beat faster in my presence, and mine relaxed in hers.
When I’d seen Evelyn standing on the edge of town, impatience a familiar cloak around her, the twist in my chest had loosened.
I felt like I could breathe for the first time in hours.
I didn’t mind her reaction to me, though. The twitch of my wolf’s tail said he didn’t mind her racing heart, either.
She bit the inside of her lip, sucking at it while she thought something through. I didn’t care how long it took. My attention was glued to her mouth, wondering what it would be like to have the focus that corner of her lip currently had.
The tips of my ears grew warm. Then she was staring at me with the look she usually reserved for the researchers who told her blood magic wasn’t real magic. I shook myself, sure that I had missed something.
“Did you hear me?” she asked.
“No.”
“Well, that’s fine. I apologized for imposing my time-keeping standards on you and your life, where they have no business. I won’t do it again.”
I huffed out a laugh. “Did that count as the apology?”
“No,” she said flatly. “You missed that. All you get is the summary. Now, shall we go?” She gestured toward the road leading out of town.
I glanced around. We were just off the main path.
We could easily step farther into the woods to shift.
It was unlikely anyone would see her animal, as it was dark and the trees were thick between here and Compass Lake.
She didn’t wait for my response, though.
Her question was rhetorical. She turned and walked toward our destination.
“It’s a half-day’s ride to the Crossroads Inn. You won’t make it there tonight on foot.”
“I can sleep on the side of the road,” she called over her shoulder.
Impossible female. I pulled one of the cinnamon candies from my pocket.
Sasha was learning how to shift, so I had plenty to share if Evelyn would let me.
I jogged to catch up with her, turning so that I offered them in my palm as I walked backward in front of her. “You know there is another option.”
She looked down at the candy. Something like surprise flashed across her face briefly.
Did she think I was going to shift and leave her to walk? “Why did you wait for me if you thought I was going to leave you here?” I asked.
She crossed her arms again. “Because I said I would.”
My wolf growled within my chest as our picture of Evelyn became clearer.
I’d been impressed at the library with how easily she stated what she wanted: the Vesten historian position.
The more I studied her, the more I thought that was a fluke—an anomaly, said in a moment of anger toward me because of her belief that I’d considered the position mine from the start.
Setting aside that slip, her usual behavior was becoming much easier to understand.
I suspected she didn’t handle disappointments well.
She said as much with how she’d spoken about her father this afternoon at the tavern.
Her go-to was not to expect anything from me—not to set herself up for disappointment.
I wanted her to expect something from me.
I dropped the candies into her palm and reached for her shoulders to halt her progress. Surprisingly, she let me. “We can run together. I can … help you.”