Chapter 35
Evelyn
Tears blurred my vision as I opened the staff door to Parkview Tavern.
I grabbed an apron from the hook and walked down the hallway.
I hadn’t known when I would return from Compass Lake, but Seraphina had said to come into work when I could.
I’d missed multiple days, and I didn’t want to disappoint her now. This was one thing I could do.
The tavern had always been a safe space for me. Even as my academic career crumbled to pieces, I knew Seraphina and Parkview Tavern would have a crisp ale and a warm atmosphere waiting for me.
While it wasn’t a guarantee that Ambrose’s paper clearing the review process would grant him the position, it was not nothing. Carter and Gabriel said we were evenly matched. Once, that might have angered me, but now I saw it for what it was—we brought out the best in each other.
Ambrose loved history. He’d studied enough to know that blood magic played a vital role on the continent, even when the fae didn’t acknowledge it. He didn’t diminish the importance of learning more about blood magic’s capabilities, even if he was cautious about it.
I knew Ambrose would do well as Vesten historian. That had never been in doubt.
The problem was how much I’d wanted it. I might not have loved history the way he did, but I respected it.
I read it and learned from it. What we learned from history would shape our future.
I knew I could help the Vesten Court learn from its mistakes and build on the changes that the Compass Points had started.
Before I arrived beside the bar, I swiped away my tears.
Seraphina was mixing a drink, and Luna and Vincent sat on stools opposite her.
The picture of the three of them together felt like home.
Even with the tavern filled, the females’ attention turned directly toward me, and something in both of their expressions shifted.
Luna stood before I could say anything, and she pointed to Vincent to take Seraphina’s place behind the bar. Seraphina walked toward me, a look of concern furrowing her brow. She took my shoulders and turned me around, heading back down the hallway through which I’d just arrived.
“I think we need a consult,” she said.
The tightness in my chest that had been there since Ambrose and I severed our bond finally released. Seraphina squeezed my shoulders, and Luna snuck by us to hold open the door.
“Are we going to stand in the water again?” I asked.
Luna glanced at Seraphina. “I don’t see why we wouldn’t. It has worked miracles in the past.”
That was questionable, but honestly, I wanted to. And even though wanting things could lead to disappointment, my time with Ambrose made me think that maybe the risk—the dream of what could happen—was worth the potential disappointment.
That wasn’t a theory I could test now. Now, I wanted to do something utterly ridiculous with my closest friends.
“Evelyn’s choice,” Seraphina said.
I pulled off my boots on my way toward the moat surrounding the tavern.
Luna squealed with glee, flipping off her slippers as she chased after me.
Seraphina removed her shoes as well and sat on the water’s edge, letting her toes dip into the water while she played with the dirt on the bank. “What’s going on, Evelyn?”
I didn’t even know where to start. I must have said so aloud, because Luna replied, “What weighs heaviest on you?”
It was an interesting question. An answer slipped from my lips with little thought. “I think Ambrose and I are more than colleagues.”
Maybe I would deal with this particular fact tonight.
I didn’t think I’d realized how much I was tying myself in knots over it.
I was too good at pushing away my wants, but it made sense the more I thought about it.
My feelings for Ambrose were inherently linked with the outcome of our contest. Both things I wanted were tied up together, and I didn’t know what to do.
Luna squealed again with glee, but Seraphina’s cool reserve urged me to continue.
“All the time together … it showed me another side of Ambrose. The more I learned, the more I was drawn to him. We realized the magic that connected us had no hold on our emotions. So, the things we felt for each other were our own. And, I don’t know … things escalated from there.”
Seraphina shook her head slowly before Luna could explode with joy at my statement. “And…”
She always knew. I didn’t know how, but she always did. “Our feelings for each other don’t change the fact that we both want the Vesten historian position. We’re both qualified in different ways, and while we were gone, one of Ambrose’s outstanding papers was approved for publication.”
They glanced at each other, clearly unsure of the last part.
“It means he has a single mark ahead of me in our academic records. The Vesten Point only gave us our blood magic project as a tiebreaker, so to speak. The approval of Ambrose’s paper means the tiebreaker is unnecessary. He is going to get the position.”
They both nodded as if they understood. I wasn’t sure they did.
But I had more on my mind. “I found my father while we were at Compass Lake. He’d been searching for us just like Mom always said.
” I tugged at my braid. This part of my trip had been tucked into a neat little box in my mind.
With Seraphina and Luna standing here, the truth pushed free.
“I couldn’t believe it. His insistence on finding me and Mom was even what pushed Carter to fill the Vesten historian position to begin with. ”
Luna twisted one of her white-blond strands around her finger. “Are we calling the Vesten Point Carter?” she asked hesitantly.
Seraphina glared at her. “Not the most important part of that story.” Her attention returned to me. “This is good, right? You found him. You can ask him the questions you wanted to?”
I shook my head, tears rimming my eyes. Luna reached for my hand and held it with a steady reassurance. It wasn’t like when Ambrose did it, but it was reassuring regardless. “I saw him shift. Our animals are not the same.” I let out a heavy sigh. “He can’t help me.”
“I see.” Seraphina nodded.
“That is a lot.” Luna squeezed my hand again.
I wasn’t even sure that was all of it. There was still whatever Carter had been trying to tell me about the tree on Vesten property.
The fact that he’d shared so much about the Vesten Point position with me …
it was something that few knew. Did that mean anything regarding my chances at the Vesten historian position?
Did I want it to? I had so many pieces of information collected, and none of them made sense.
“What’s next?” Seraphina asked, practical as ever.
“Next?” I sighed. “Tomorrow morning, Carter arrives. We’ll finish the project, and then he’ll make his decision.”
They both nodded. “Do you want to do something tonight?” Seraphina offered. “I can kick everyone out, and we can hang in the empty tavern like we used to.”
I sighed and shook my head. “No, if you don’t need me to work, I should go see Mom.
I sent Stephen—that’s my father—to find her.
I’m sure he arrived before me. I need to see how she is.
” My smile was watery when I glanced between them.
“Thank you both. For dropping everything. For consulting. For listening.”
Both females smiled like they wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.
Finally, I glanced at Seraphina. “How about you? Do you still need to consult? Or have things cleared up for you?” She had been quite upset before I left, but we’d spent all our time talking about me. I wasn’t sure if she’d spoken to Luna about it.
Seraphina’s hand went to her pocket, as if to reassure herself that something was there. She didn’t look at either of us when she replied. “It’s not better, but I’m taking care of it.”
Luna dropped my hand, moving hers to her hips. “Seraphina, what is going on?”
She waved away Luna’s concern. “It’s nothing, just news from home.
They’ll find something new and shiny to focus on eventually.
I have to wait them out.” Luna’s brow furrowed, but Seraphina stood.
“We should get back in there. Evelyn, I don’t need you tonight, but I do think there is someone in there waiting for you. ”
I glanced at the tavern, unsure of what she meant. As we put on our shoes and went back inside, I searched the room. Ambrose wouldn’t have come here, would he?
My gaze landed on a table in the back—Mom’s and my usual spot. She was there, and she was not alone.
Seraphina pressed me gently forward. “She asked if you were back when they came in. I’m not sure where you stand with him, but I know you can buck up enough to tell your mom you’re home.”
With tough love, she pushed me into the dining room. That was how I found myself standing beside their table. They barely glanced up, thinking I was Mina, but Mom gasped when she realized it was me.
“Honey!” She reached for my hand. “I’m so happy you’re here. I asked about you.”
I glanced at Stephen, who was seated across from her. His hand rested on the table. Clearly, he’d been holding Mom’s until she reached for me.
“Have you eaten?” she asked. “We were leaving, but we can stay if you’d like.”
I shook my head. “I’ll grab something at home. I’m tired, I just wanted to find you.”
They paid their tab. Mom didn’t introduce Stephen or rave about his grand return, leading me to believe he had already explained our meeting.
Something uneasy lingered between Stephen and me as he nodded in greeting.
I did not know how to act around him. Honestly, he was as much a victim of circumstance as I was—I knew that—but knowing that couldn’t close the hole left in my heart from the last twenty years.
Thankfully, Mom seemed unaware of our awkwardness.
We left the tavern and strolled through the park.
For the first time in my life, I was unsure of how to act with Mom.
When Stephen had left—disappeared—I’d known how to comfort her.
This felt more complicated, like one ball of yarn tangling with another.
I had to sift through my emotions to find the right one to support her.
The love of her life had returned to her with the explanation she expected. It changed nothing about how I’d grown up separated from fae society and tradition, but it also wasn’t all about me. I could be happy for her.
“Stephen said you weren’t so happy to see him,” she said. I hadn’t noticed that he’d walked ahead, leaving us the illusion of privacy.
“I’m happy for you, Mom. Everything you believed was right. Something terrible happened, and he’s been looking for you ever since.”
“He’s been looking for us, honey.” She raised a brow as if the distinction were important.
I shrugged.
“Will you be alright if he stays with us?” she asked. “It’s your home, too, and I want you to be comfortable.”
I couldn’t believe Mom was considering kicking out the male she’d waited twenty years for on account of my comfort.
Then again, maybe I could—that was Mom through and through.
I shook my head. “If you want to see him, which I assume you do”—I forced a smirk, but the twist of her lips said she didn’t buy it—“he’s welcome in our home. ”
She patted my hand. “Thank you, honey.”
I noticed then that she wore the ring he’d shown me. How had I ended up so different from her? She loved fiercely and hoped deeply. She didn’t let fear of looking foolish get in the way of her wants. Her life was an unapologetic song screamed at the top of her lungs.
It hadn’t always been in her favor, either. She’d gone years without the male she wanted, yet still, she hadn’t given up hope. Something bloomed in my chest for her. Just as quickly, heat flooded me—embarrassment at my behavior. I, not the world, had thought her foolish for her hope.
“Mom…” I started.
She patted my hand again. “It’s alright, honey.”
She already knew what I would say, but I wouldn’t sleep well until I said it aloud.
I wiped tears from my eyes. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry I doubted.
I just…” I picked through my feelings, trying to find the words I’d shared with Ambrose only days ago.
“I just thought it would be easier to expect nothing. That maybe it wouldn’t hurt so much. ”
Her smile was so soft as she pulled our slow walk to a halt. “I know, honey. I’ve always known. It was going to hurt either way. Having hope and believing in love doesn’t mean you don’t experience pain.”
“Then why do it? Why bother with the hope if the outcome is the same? Why put your life on hold for the chance of what could be?”
Her hand glided up my arm, squeezing. “I didn’t put my life on hold.
That was the part I don’t think you understood.
I kept living, but I never found something equal to what I felt for your father.
Romantic love is one kind of love. My life was filled with fulfilling relationships.
The women at the bookstore, my knitting group, and …
you.” She smiled at Stephen’s back as we walked.
“Your father was worth waiting for. I love him, and I knew he’d be back, but he also helped set the standard for the romantic love I wanted. ”
The sparkle in her eyes had me thinking of the gold light in Ambrose’s, and I thought I might understand what she meant. There was something about Ambrose that sharpened my senses and pushed my limits, but it also showed me how far below that standard any of my past romantic partners had been.
I pushed Mom forward, knowing that even if I wasn’t ready yet, she needed this. “Go, Mom. I’ll be fine.”
Mom gave me a glance over her shoulder and must have seen some truth in my face. She took Stephen’s hand, and we walked through the park toward the apartment.