Chapter 32
Chapter Thirty-Two
“Well, I don’t care why you’re back. I’m just glad you are,” Alice says, holding me tight.
I couldn’t sit around the cottage all day.
So after Sammie left, I went up to the main house, took a ranch truck, and came to the diner Alice owns.
It was her mother’s. When we were kids, we would come here after school almost every day.
It’s comfortable, but also one of the many places in this town full of memories.
“I just needed to grab some more stuff.” I shrug.
“And Sammie? What’s his reason for being in town?” Alice asks.
“I borrowed his plane,” I tell her.
“What are you doing, Poppy? He broke your heart last week. You didn’t tell me what he did but I know how devastated you were. So why have you already let him back in?” she huffs.
“Aren’t you supposed to be the glass half-full one? The one who goes on and on about how love always wins?” I raise a brow at her.
“Do you?”
“Do I what?”
“Love him? I mean, you were devastated last week so obviously you have feelings for the guy, but is it love?”
“I’m pretty sure it is. And before you say it, I know it’s fast and stupid. But I can’t stop it.”
“Okay, it’s not stupid. Fast, sure. But love is love. I’m really torn if I’m supposed to love him too or hate him here, Poppy. What did he do that made you run?”
“It’s complicated. And it may be a misunderstanding.” I can’t tell her that I think his uncle is the leader of the cartel that killed my mother. Or that Sammie and his entire family are convinced that the cartel didn’t kill her. The question is: If they didn’t, who the hell did? And why?
“A misunderstanding. Okay, well, if you love him, then I will too. But if he breaks your heart again, I’m going to order Jaxson to kill him,” she says.
“Okay.” I smile. “Although I think Sammie and Jaxson have some weird bromance thing developing.”
“He is charming, your guy. I can see how he wins people over.” Alice shakes her head. “Okay, you want apple or pumpkin?” She points to the pies on the cake stands in front of me.
“Mmm, give me two pieces of the apple.”
“Two?”
“Yeah, I’m meeting Jaxson at my parents’ house,” I tell her.
I’ve avoided going to the house I grew up in.
After my dad died, I went to live in the main house with my cousins and my aunt and uncle.
As soon as I was eighteen, I moved into one of the cabins on the outskirts of the ranch.
Not long after that, my aunt died and my uncle withdrew into a bottle of whiskey.
He’s in a home now. The boys set him up so he’ll be well cared for, but he’s a shell of the man he was before my aunt died.
And this is the reason I think love is overrated. It destroys people. But also, now that I’m feeling the beginnings of a love that could develop into something that deep, it’s kind of magical. Or that could just be the orgasms talking, because they sure are some out-of-this-world experiences.
“You’re going to your parents’ house? Why?” Alice asks as she boxes up the pie.
“I want to take some pictures back to LA with me. I think it’s time I stop hiding from the past and start remembering my parents the way they were. Not the way they died.”
“That’s really good. I think that’s a great idea. Are you sure you don’t want me to come with you? I can call someone in to cover me here?”
“No, it’s fine. Jaxson is already on his way there.” It’s a small white lie. He’s not but he will be when I call him and tell him I need him to meet me.
“Okay, here you go. Say hi to Jaxson and to your boyfriend.” Alice smirks.
“You can call him Sammie.” I roll my eyes.
“I could, but it’s been a long time since you had a boyfriend, so I’ll stick with that term for now.”
“Whatever. Love you.” I pull a twenty out of my pocket and pop it into the tip jar. Alice won’t take my money for the food, but she won’t stop me from giving tips to the waitstaff.
Once I’m back in the truck, I call Jaxson.
“Hey, how was your flight?” he asks.
“Awkward. Can you meet me at my parents’ house?”
There’s silence on the line—well, other than the sound of cowboys yelling shit at each other.
“Unless you’re busy,” I add.
“No, I can meet you. What’s wrong? Why are you going there?”
“I want to look for something, but I don’t really want to go alone,” I explain. “And I can’t tell Alice what I’m looking for.”
“What are you looking for?” Jaxson presses.
“My mom kept journals. She used to sit up in the attic and write. I want to see if there’s anything in them that can help Sammie find out what actually happened. That’s if what he believes is true,” I tell my cousin.
“You don’t believe him?”
“I want to. Because the alternative? Me being with someone whose family killed my mother? I can’t live with that truth,” I admit.
“I think he’s certain that it wasn’t the cartel, Poppy. But that doesn’t mean it wasn’t. It just means he believes in his family. That’s not a bad trait. I also think he really cares about you.”
“He says he does.”
“That’s it? He says he does? Poppy, he up and leaves at the drop of a hat to fly across the country for you. That’s a bit more than he says he does. Actions speak louder than words.”
“Yeah,” I agree. They do. And Sammie’s actions tell me he really does care. “I’m leaving the diner now. Can you meet me?”
“I’m already heading there. I’m in the south paddock, though. It’s going to take me about thirty minutes.”
“Thank you.”
“You got me pie, right?” he asks.
“I’m not an amateur.” I laugh, putting the phone in the console. I press the button to start the truck up.
I look around the dark, dusty space. I searched this house for a note from my father after he was found hanging in the barn.
I didn’t come up here, though. My dad never came up here.
My parents used the attic for storage and my mom would come up and journal.
She said she found it peaceful, like she could get her thoughts out easier.
I think the place is creepy and full of cobwebs and dust.
“I didn’t realize how obsessed your parents were with you, Popps,” Jaxson says, picking up an old photo album. He flicks through the pages. “Poppy, age four. They literally took a photo of you every day.” He laughs.
“I was photogenic.” I shrug.
“You still are,” he says.
“Aw, thanks, Jax. Careful, I might mistake that as you getting soft on me,” I warn him.
He closes the album and sets it back in the box. “What are we looking for?”
“Like I said, my mom used to journal up here. She kept her notebooks in a white wooden box. It has to still be up here somewhere,” I tell him.
“Okay.” Jaxson starts moving boxes around.
I walk towards the back of the attic and stop. “Jaxson!” I call out, my eyes landing on the box I was looking for. It’s in pieces on the floor.
Jaxson stops next to me. He juts his chin forward. “That the box?”
“Yeah. But who? Why?” I shake my head. I can’t get my thoughts straight.
Jaxson bends down, picking up the wood. Then I see something.
“Wait.” Dropping to my knees, I brush the broken pieces out of the way.
There’s a floorboard with the Kestral Valley Ranch branding burned into it. I used to watch my dad brand the cattle. I asked him if it hurt them when I was seven. I didn’t like how they sounded like they were crying out in pain.
About a month after that, the ranch switched to ear tagging the cattle and I never saw the branding iron used again. My fingers run over the mark in the wood.
“Why would my dad put this here?” I ask Jaxson.
“My guess? He wanted you to see it.” Jaxson stands. He looks around the room and then finds a crowbar against the wall. “Move. Let me lift this board.”
I push to my feet and shift backwards. It doesn’t take much for Jaxson to pry the piece of flooring up. He drops the crowbar and sticks his arm into the gap. When he pulls it out again, he’s holding a plastic bag.
He tips the bag out, and I slump down on my ass. “My mother’s journals. Why would he hide them like that?”
“I don’t know, but I think this is what you’re looking for.” Jaxson hands me an envelope with my name on it. It’s my dad’s handwriting. I would know that sloppy print anywhere.
My hands shake as I take the envelope. “I looked all over the house for a letter from him.” I tear it open, unfold the paper, and then pass it to Jaxson. “You read it. I can’t.”
“Okay.” He looks down at the paper. “Poppy, if you’re finding this, then I’m no longer with you. I’m sorry. I didn’t want this for you. I need you to know how much you are loved. Your mother and I… we love you more than life itself.”
I choke back the sob that wants to escape. Jaxson stops and looks at me. “Keep going,” I tell him.
Clearing his throat, he continues reading.
“There are things beyond our control. Things we’ve done our best to protect you from.
I knew I’d failed when they got your mom.
I’m sorry I couldn’t protect her. I will never forgive myself for that.
But I still have you, and I will continue fighting until I can no longer fight. I will never leave you, Poppy.”
I wipe a silent tear from my eye and try to hold back the sob climbing up my throat.
“If I fail, then they’ve gotten to me too.
You are safe, though. The people who killed your mom, they’re not going to come for you because you don’t know anything.
Me? I know everything, which is why I know they’re coming for me.
The report said it was a cartel house. It wasn’t.
I’m not going to burden you with the truth, because I don’t want you to be put in that kind of danger.
Just know your mother was trying to bring justice down on a very corrupt organization.
She was doing what she believed in. Know that you were loved.
Always will be loved. If you’ve read this, burn it, Poppy.
Do not let the sheriff’s office know you have this letter. Do not trust anyone. Love always, Dad.”
“What? What does he mean? Don’t let the sheriff’s office know?” I peer over at my cousin.
“I think we need to do what he says, Poppy. We need to burn this, and we need to pretend like you never read it,” Jaxson tells me.
“I don’t understand. Who killed my mom?”
“My guess? The very people she worked with.”
“I have to tell Sammie.” I pull my phone out of my pocket and call his number.
“Hey, miss me already?” he answers on the first ring.
“Sammie, I found something,” I whisper into the phone, as if I’m afraid someone might hear me.
“Where are you?”
“My parents’ house. On the ranch.”
“Are you alone?” he asks.
“No, Jaxson’s here.”
“Good. Get him to take you to the main house, Poppy. I’ll meet you there.”
“Okay.” I hang up the call. “Sammie is going to meet us at your place.”
Jaxson nods and starts picking up my mom’s journals, putting them back into the plastic bag. “Let’s get out of here before the spiders get hungry.”
“Spiders? Where?” I jump up. Why didn’t I think to be on the lookout for the creepy motherfuckers.
“Relax, princess. I’ll protect you from the spiders.” Jaxson laughs as he follows me over to the ladder.