CHAPTER EIGHT
COURTNEY
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I shouldn’t feel this comfortable sitting next to Zander Sterling as we drive through the streets of the city. Especially not after he’s been so rude.
He’s treating me like I’m the bad guy here.
It’s not a murder trial.
So I got the terminology wrong, shoot me. (Pun intended.)
Up in his office, I couldn’t wait to get away from the irritating man. Yet the moment he put his hand on my lower back and guided me downstairs something shifted inside me. I felt his strength, my eyes closing as I soaked it in.
Unwillingly.
I’ve never felt what I did in those few minutes; his large protective body, the sense of his strength, the desire to feel much, much more.
The truth is, he probably thought I was going to steal something. At least that’s how I felt after our conversations.
I can’t deny, since we left his office and as I sit beside him, this sensation of being wrapped in a fairytale sense of security. It’s very addictive.
Adam never made me feel like this.
He wanted me, and there was lust, but there was also control. I accepted all of that, grateful for the opportunity to escape my fate. From facing homelessness and having to return to Arizona with my tail between my legs. To a future where I was trapped supporting my parents with no way out.
I don’t regret marrying Adam and never will.
But I’m starting to see, even after my short affair with John, that there is a big wide world just waiting for me to explore.
I’m not going to lie, if Zander wasn’t my attorney—and a jerk most of the time—I’d likely be very keen to explore him.
Mostly his body...if that needed spelling out.
And that’s fair. It sure isn’t his personality. Zander Sterling is a very handsome and influential man whom few women would say no to.
I mean, Lord, when he placed his hand on my thigh and I felt the heat through my skirt, I almost climbed on his lap and begged him to fuck me.
Not really.
Okay, maybe really.
Gosh, I raised my voice at him earlier. If we aren’t battling in the boardroom, we are fighting this sizzling chemistry between us.
One, clearly neither of us can act on, and thank goodness! I appreciate the legal boundaries between us; Zander knows almost everything about my life after our working session tonight.
I shared how we met and the unfolding of our marriage. I left out the real reason I left Adam, that when he laid his hands on me (and boot) I had to leave. That he’d found my infertility unacceptable. I would never share that.
Adam’s claims that I had an affair with John are absurd. He won’t have proof because there isn’t any.
“Perhaps the campus would have cameras we can search,” I’d asked Zander tonight.
“If they still have the recording, it will only show the two of you speaking. They won’t prove it was the first time you met.”
Ugh.
“Well, it was. I thought I was happily married.” I snapped without thinking.
“Until?”
Oh shit.
“Until I wasn’t. It became clear that we both wanted different things. It happens.” I said, instead of explaining, my husband struck me for not producing a child.
I had photos if it came down to it, but I didn’t want to be the woman who’d had that happen to her. I wanted to be happy. To feel secure.
To not have my husband treat me like I was a baby machine.
To be loved.
I grew up in a world where those things happen on a regular basis, so I knew keeping a record was a smart thing to do. But I didn’t file a police report. It would’ve been leaked to the media before I drove home.
Where Adam could hurt me again.
They call that being street-smart.
“It does happen but there’s usually more to it. Can I be frank?” Zander sat back, his arms relaxing at his sides. He’d been wearing reading glasses and propped them up on his head.
God, he looked sexy.
“Okay,” I reluctantly responded.
“Usually, when two people grow apart as you say happened, the settlement is quick and agreeable. That’s not what is happening here. Adam has gone public with a claim that you were unfaithful.”
Because I accused him of being infertile.
“You said usually.”
Zander studied me for a long moment, then lowered his glasses, and while I knew he was searching for the true cause of our separation, he wasn’t getting it.
“Let’s continue. You say you wanted to attend college at one point.”
“Adam wasn’t happy about the idea. I was kept busy with charities and hosting parties for his business partners.”
His eyes lifted from his tablet. “Working with an event planner, I assume.”
“Well, yes, but I oversaw everything as he requested. To ensure all the details were perfect.” I explained. “I didn’t mind. It gave me something to do.”
I wouldn’t say it was something I enjoyed doing, but it beat sitting around waiting for my husband to come home. There were only so many excuses I could make to meet with Kylie or go shopping.
“Something other than what you wanted to do.”
I saw the judgment on his face and decided that it wouldn’t hurt to be honest.
“Yes.”
Zander could judge all he wanted, but I doubt he’d been raised worrying if he’d eat that day or come home from school to find his parents wasted.
Doing what Adam wanted, knowing I had a roof over my head and food in the refrigerator wasn’t exactly a punishment.
I was grateful.
The car slows down as we approach my building, and I glance over, finding Zander's beautiful face covered in shadows. His eyes drop to mine, and for a moment, the cab of the vehicle is filled with an intensity that takes my breath away.
Oh God, this shouldn’t be happening.
The vehicle stops.
“Here we go, Mrs. Blackmore.” Terrance announces. “Shall I wait, sir?”
Zander doesn’t answer; his jaw has gone taut.
“Thank you. For the ride home.” I swallow and give Terrance a quick smile. “About earlier. I want you to know I appreciate everything you’re doing.”
His gaze dips to my lips, and I wonder what he’s thinking. Does he want to kiss me? Or am I imagining all of this?
“Like I said, this isn’t a friendship.” Zander rasps. “Pay our invoices, and that’s all we ask.”
Slap.
Just when I feel like we’re making strides, he goes and says something like that.
I shake my head.
“Lucky you chose law and not medicine, Mr. Sterling.” I gather my things and then wait for him to move so I can exit the vehicle.
But he surprises me.
A grin starts and keeps growing, then he breaks out into laughter.
What the hell?
He doesn’t stop, and before I know it, I’m smiling but trying hard not to.
“Courtney Blackmore.” Zander’s laughter throws his head back. “Christ, you’re not intimidated by me at all, are you?”
No.
I’m infuriated by him.
I lift a shoulder. I’ve dealt with worse people growing up, and while I find him rude and obnoxious, I know he’s not going to hit me like the man I thought I loved. Zander, at least, is consistently one mood, unlike my father who was like Jekyll and Hyde. That’s much worse.
“Let me walk you to the door,” he says after climbing out, and we’re both standing on the sidewalk.
“Absolutely not. You’re my lawyer, not a date and not my friend.” I hold out my hand and wink. “Remember?”
I grin at his shocked face, then turn and walk into my building, making sure my hips swing a little more than usual.