CHAPTER TEN
COURTNEY
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It was hard to make loyal friends while being married to Adam. I came to New York on my own and was only here a short time before I met him.
Meeting Kylie on the photoshoot was lucky, as once I was engaged to Adam, my social life was controlled by him.
She’s the only person in my world who knows my rags-to-riches story and has her own.
Over the years she modeled for many luxury brands and made a big name for herself.
Kylie moved from Michigan to the Big Apple.
Her family had told her she was taking too big of a gamble and should be focusing on a more sensible career.
She showed them.
Adam hates her.
While married, I had to be discreet when meeting up with her the majority of the time, or he’d rant and rave.
“She’s trash, Courtney. Can’t you make friends with any of the decent women in our social circle?”
“They’re your friends,” I cried one night when tired.
“That’s the whole point. You have to befriend them and bond. Jesus. Invite them over for lunch. Arrange a girl’s weekend at our home in the Hamptons.”
I glanced away.
I hated that house.
It was huge, and I hated the way it was decorated. Adam wouldn’t let me change it.
I had tried to make friends with some of them, but we had nothing in common except for our husbands, and that conversation got boring after thirty minutes. Many of the women came from money or were successful entrepreneurs themselves. Which I pointed out to Adam once.
Didn’t go down well.
They saw me as a pathetic trophy wife, and I didn’t blame them.
With Kylie, I could be myself.
“I’ll be honest, I thought you’d go back to Adam.” Kylie plays with the straw in her drink.
I messaged her to meet me at Silhouette, our favorite wine bar in SoHo.
Since becoming a single woman, I’m a regular. Being free is so new to me, and I’ve found that having money and complete freedom is not quite that simple. Stretching my wings is taking time.
I’m sure that would be hard to understand.
“No. Uh, uh.” I sip my chocolate martini. “No, there’s no going back.”
“I can see that now. Have your parents got in touch?”
“No,” I shudder. “They’re probably waiting to hear what I get in the settlement. You know, maybe I should just give them some and—”
“Girl, no!” Kylie slaps my hand. “The way they treated you. Ugh.”
“They’re addicts.” I shrug.
“They were neglectful parents,” she reminds me.
It could have been worse. At least that’s what Mom told me during one of her messages. That they could have sent me into the foster system. That I could have ended up in a much worse environment, sexually abused, physically harmed, moved from house to house, not given any level of education.
She’s right.
Not having lunch money or knowing if I would starve is not the same as being raped. Yet, I don’t really see it as being better off.
I shake off thoughts of my past and look to the future. It is definitely brighter. I’ve even considered speaking to a therapist once the divorce proceedings are over. There has to be some reason I ended up with a man who was so controlling, and in his own way, abusive.
I don’t want to do it again.
I’ve grown so much on my own, so I hope that I won’t. You just never know.
I’m quite proud of how I’ve stood up to the mighty Zander Sterling. Seeing him toss back his head and laugh, stating, you’re not scared of me at all, are you, Courtney Blackmore?
Nope.
But I did want him to kiss me, and that was not good.
This entire process and becoming a divorcee has made me very reflective about where I want to go next. I’m still unsure.
“Yeah, forget them. I won’t give them a cent. I need to work out what I’m doing with my life. I have nothing to show for the first twenty-six years of my life. I’m nearly thirty.”
“Okay, first of all, you’re four years away from turning thirty, and second, you haven’t wasted your life,” Kylie frowned. “You were married, experienced love, even if he is a douchebag, and now you are a billionaire. Well, soon you will be.”
It felt empty.
All of it.
The way Adam treated me during the majority of our marriage, taking his money, letting him dictate my choices.
I guess this is the angry part of grieving.
Well, fuck him.
“I shouldn’t take fifty percent. I didn’t do anything to create it.”
She chokes on her drink. “Not to be crass, but I’m going to be crass...wait, first let me prefix this by saying I know you loved the guy, but I’m not going to pretend I’m sad. Leaving Adam was the best thing you’ve ever done.”
I frown. “How is that crass?”
“Because you didn’t do nothing to earn the money, you had to put up with that oaf of a man and spread your legs.”
“Kylie!”
She holds up her hand. “Sorry, but he hated me.”
“He didn’t hate you.”
He probably did.
“What did he ever give you? A big ring, credit cards and a bunch of rules you had to live by.”
I stir my drink, not looking her in the eye.
“You had to buy and return shit to have your own cash so he couldn’t monitor your spending.” She taps her long, manicured nails on the bar.
I hate that anyone knows about that.
It’s very shameful, but it was her idea and led me to do the online training that I absolutely loved.
I told Zander but asked him to keep it highly confidential because I don’t want Adam to know about it at all. It’s one of the happiest things I’ve done, and I don’t want him commenting on it.
Like, it’s my secret, and he’ll tarnish it.
“I broke it off with John,” I announce after we sit in silence for a moment and Kylie orders us a second round of drinks.
“That was inevitable. You’re a rich, beautiful woman way outside his league.”
I shrug. “You know how it is. Neither of us came from money, so I don’t see it like that.”
“Yeah, but John did. Hope he was good in the sack.”
I giggle.
John was good in bed. He seemed to put in a whole lot more effort than Adam.
“Good for you. God, I need a good bang. It’s been three months. Speaking of, how gorgeous is your attorney? Zander Sterling. Girl, you could bounce a dime off that ass.”
I choke on my drink, and it sprays out across the bar. I grab napkins, mopping it up as I glare at her.
“What?” she chuckles. “He’s one of the hottest bachelors in New York. I asked around. No one has dated him.”
“Truly?”
She shakes her head. “Oh, sure, he’s connected to a few of the supermodels, but not for longer than a night.”
“Really?” I pat my mouth and wipe down the front of my dress. “That’s interesting. He’s very arrogant but has a strong protective vibe going, you know.”
“No, girl, I don’t. Tell me more.” She leans her chin on her hand and smirks.
“He’s my lawyer!”
“Exactly. Meaning, you can introduce me.”
Absolutely not.
I just can’t summon a single reason why I shouldn’t, but the idea of Kylie being with Zander sends little violent thoughts through my head.
Not good.
Not good at all.
“I bet he’ll be at the gala this Friday.” Kylie pulls out her phone. “Speaking of, check out this dress I’m wearing for Alexander Queen.”
I pretend to be interested.
I love fashion, but I don’t know if I want Zander walking out of the Gala with his hand in the small of Kylie’s back.
Instead of...mine.