Chapter 8
Paisley
T onight, McAllister’s is occupied by a handful of regulars, which is typical for a Thursday night, and surprisingly, it creates an overwhelmingly cramped atmosphere. This whole town feels impossibly small since Noah arrived. The guy with the faded blue jeans cut out at the knee and the cap flipped round the wrong way. His eyes meet mine, his lips turning up at the sides, and I quickly glance away, distracting myself with watching Gisele and Emerson talking to Jake at the bar. That’s another problem I need to fix.
They laugh, then Jake drops his head and glances my way. His expression is more serious than he normally is with me. He’s still pissed about last weekend. I know I need to apologize for my shitty behavior. He’s been such a good friend to me over the years, but somehow, it would feel like admitting he’s right. I offer a half smile instead, and he returns his attention to Emerson. I let out a sigh. He’s really annoyed with me. I wish things could be different. Jake’s such a good guy, one of the best, and I know if we were a couple, he would take such good care of me. But he’s just not my guy.
My attention returns to the cocky asshole who’s about to take a shot. His ass in those jeans. Fuck me now. I know how good that ass is, I want to dig my long nails into it as he tips me over the edge, the way only he knows how. A tingle of excitement runs through me at the thought. He was the last guy to give me what I need. No other man has even come close. I know how good it can be. That’s what this infatuation is. A deep desire for another proper orgasm, not one I’ve had to give myself. That’s all it is.
“You’re obsessed, girl.” Mae giggles as she polishes off the remainder of her Long Island iced tea.
I know I’m practically drooling over Noah, but I snap my eyes back to Mae as quickly as I can. “I’m not at all. Can you see this shit? He’s just in my way all the time.” I groan in frustration.
She looks me over, her face telling me all I need to know. She thinks I’m full of shit. “The boys are in the next room playing pool,” she mutters dryly.
“Yeah, but whenever he bends over to take a shot, he’s like right there.” I use my hands to show her just how close he is in my line of sight, and she cracks up laughing at me.
“What are you two arguing about?” Emerson smirks, handing me my peach iced tea.
“Nothing.” I roll my eyes, over it. Sipping my drink through a straw, I look anywhere but in the boys’ direction. I knew this town wasn’t big enough. But I can’t dwell on it. The girls came out tonight for dinner and a drink just for me. I have to make the most of it, even if the boys decided to crash our quiet night out by showing up to McAllister’s as well. “Parker tells me he’s helping you with some of the fix-up of your townhouse.”
They sit opposite us, obstructing my view, and I’m grateful. “Thank the Lord. Your brother is a lifesaver. When I took on this job, I had no idea it was going to be so dilapidated.”
“You could always just move back in with us now that Gisele’s ditched us for Brody,” Mae suggests, giving Gisele a look.
“I didn’t ditch you guys,” she says guiltily, but she so did, and I get it, she’s in love. Good for her. But now our threesome is down to two, and the house is feeling empty.
“That’s a brilliant idea, that way you don’t have to live in the rubble,” I agree with Mae.
She thinks it over while sipping on her cocktail. “It’s a nice idea. But I’m kind of getting used to my own space. And Parker thinks he should have the kitchen cabinetry done by the end of this week, then we start on the bathrooms next. It’s just a little inconvenience, I’m okay.”
I slurp up the last of my drink way too quickly, feeling like it’s not doing anything to take the edge off. It’s like Jake’s not even putting vodka in it tonight. “I’ll get the next round,” I offer, hopping up from our booth. I know I need to make things right with Jake. I can’t avoid the awkwardness all night.
“Not for me. Got a massive day tomorrow,” Gisele says. And Emerson and Mae both agree with her. I throw them a look. Party poopers. Next thing you know it, they will all be giving me the I’m worried about you speech again.
Not giving a shit, I make my way over to the bar and wait while another couple of girls order their drinks. I slide onto the closest stool while I wait. I can’t count the number of nights I have sat right here in this very spot chatting away with Jake to pass the time. But tonight feels different. Things are weird now, and I hate it.
His eyes run over me as he approaches, but he doesn’t give me his normal cheeky smile.
I sigh, wondering how to make this right. “About last weekend. I’m sorry I’m such a shitty friend.”
He lets out a labored exhalation then leans on the bar. “You’re not a shitty friend. I just don’t know how to help you, Pais.”
“If it’s any consolation, I don’t know how to help me either,” I say sadly, my fake-ass smile not even meeting my eyes. I’m too bogged down by the ache of emptiness lodged in my chest.
His warm hazel eyes meet mine. “It’s not,” he says sadly, and I feel even worse. He cares about me way more than he should.
“I’m thinking about buying Wild Magnolia,” I tell him, hoping it will brighten his mood. I’m not a complete lost cause.
“Really?” His eyes sparkle with excitement. He likes that idea. Okay, maybe it is a good idea.
I grin back at him. “Yeah, I took on board what you said. You’re right about it all. And I want to change. I’m hoping the shop might give me some direction.”
“I think that’s a great idea.” He pours me a cocktail then taps on the bar as he studies me. “Can I let you in on a little secret?”
“Anything.” I smirk, so ready for us to be back to normal again.
“I’m going to follow in Trey’s footsteps and open an establishment of my own.”
My brow quirks up, excited for him. “That sounds like a brilliant idea. We can be business owners together. Look at us being all grown up and shit.” I laugh.
“I’m looking at a space down by the beach,” he adds, and I can see he’s imagining it right now.
I clap my hands together. I know he’s been feeling lost lately, searching for his own thing and a reason to get out from under his parents’ roof, and this idea could really be it. I find his hand and give it a squeeze. “I have a good feeling about this, Jake.”
“Me too.” He grins back, more excited than I have seen him in so long.
I feel the soft cool fabric of a shirt brush up against my arm and glance over to find Noah leaning against the bar beside me. He’s in my personal space, and he knows it! Oh my God, what is he doing?
“Another round for the boys, thanks, Jake,” he says, and Jake goes to the fridge to gather their beers.
I keep my eyes on Jake, but Noah’s familiar pull tugs at every part of my body. I'm doing my best to resist giving him the attention he so desperately craves. But it’s almost impossible.
He leans into me, his warm breath dusting my bare neck. “Hope you’re behaving yourself, Paisley. Don’t want another repeat of last weekend.”
I stiffen. How dare he tell me what to do. “You came over here just to start trouble, didn’t you?” I snap back at him.
He glances Jake’s way. “Nope, I wanted Jake to see how flustered you get around me. Make it clear you’re mine.” His voice is deep and low, but he’s said it loud enough for Jake to hear. And it makes me feel awful. Jake isn’t a threat to Noah, but I would never want him to feel out of place because Noah is trying to act all possessive. It’s absolute bullshit.
I stand in a rush, needing to distance myself from him immediately. This is ridiculous. “I’m not flustered. And I’m most certainly not yours,” I snap back, my voice laced with venom I hope Jake hears.
“Why are you blushing at the thought then?” he asks, looking over my face.
I know he’s right, I can feel the heat coming from my cheeks. It wasn’t there before, but having his body so close to mine lights me up. My heart races like crazy as I rack my brain, trying to come up with a good comeback to make him feel as off kilter as I am. But I’ve got nothing. This man is the devil. Sent to tip me over the edge into a fiery abyss.
Jake places the drinks on the bar in front of Noah. “I’ll add them to your tab,” he says with a nod.
“Thanks, Jake, appreciate it.” His attention returns to me. I’m still standing by the bar like a deer in the head lights, not sure what to do next. Do I punch him in the face or turn and run in the opposite direction, never to look back? What I really want to do is kiss his torturous lips. He takes a step toward me, his eyes locked with mine in a way that makes my heart flutter, and I stumble back on my heels, just catching myself with the bar before I completely lose my balance. “Might be time to cut her off,” he says to Jake more seriously.
And I hate him even more. I’ve had two cocktails and Jake knows it. “I’m fine.” I glance to Jake. “I’m fine, Jake,” I say again so he knows I really am. I hate the way they’re all looking at me just waiting for me to screw up and do something stupid.
Jake shakes his head as if he’s siding with Noah. For fuck’s sake. “See you around,” I mutter to Jake, then take off for the table where I was sitting with the girls. I grab my bag. “Thanks for dinner, I’ll catch up with you guys later,” I tell them, not even waiting for a response before I storm from McAllister’s, fury radiating off my every pore. I hate Noah Harrington! Why is he making my life so difficult? Claiming I’m his? What kind of misogynistic fuckery is that when I have uttered two sentences to him at the most in months. I run away from him every chance I get. If he can’t understand my death glares, then there is something wrong with him.
“Hey, Pais. Wait up,” Mae calls from behind me.
I stop walking and wait for her to catch up with me. I know I’m being totally dramatic, but I don’t care.
“Are you okay?” she asks softly, walking in step with me.
“No, Mae. I’m not. I can’t do this.” The words tremble from my lips, bitter with hurt and anger but laced with an unbearable sadness. He makes me want to lock myself in my bedroom away from the world so I can just cry him out of my system completely. But there is no amount of time that would be long enough.
“Do what, sweetie?”
“Be near him, it hurts too much.” She wraps an arm around my middle and snuggles into me, her sweet strawberry shampoo filling my nostrils.
“I’ve got you, girl. Let’s go home make a healthy snack, like popcorn and Doritos, and watch a movie.” She laughs, knowing how very not healthy that treat is, but it’s our go-to when we need to veg out. “You can stay in my bed tonight if you want.”
I respond with a small chuckle. I love this girl, no one knows me like she does. When I’m about to fall apart, she’s right there for me. She knows all my favorite things and understands more than most how bitterly alone I feel. Because I know she feels it too. When your family’s estranged, you find your people. The ones who, even though they don’t know why you’re acting crazy, they don’t care. They just want to make you feel better. “He really hurt me, Mae,” I admit, wanting someone I can talk to about it.
She wraps an arm around me as we take the stairs up to our front door. “I know, honey.” She turns the key in the lock to let us in. “Is hanging on to it making you feel any better?”
“No,” I huff sadly. “It’s making me feel like shit.”
Her pretty green eyes meet mine. “Maybe it’s time to let it go?”
“I can’t,” I admit. I can’t let go of how much I hate Noah, because if I do, what we had really will be over. And after loving him for so long, it can’t be.