Chapter Fourteen
Leo
“Happy Birthday, Cowboy.”
She slung her arms around me from behind, hitched herself up my back and murmured in my ear. I fought a shiver as her lips grazed me and goosebumps erupted across my entire fucking body. Her voice was husky, like it got after she had a few drinks.
Leaning back, I pressed our cheeks together. “Thanks, Tough Girl.”
I closed my eyes as I inhaled the scent of her floral perfume.
My hand curled over her forearm, feeling the textured skin of her burn scar.
I ran my thumb over it, knowing she couldn’t feel the sensation but letting it comfort me anyway.
My chest expanded and she lost her grip, sliding down my back with a squeak.
I spun, ready to catch her but she landed on her feet.
I still panicked about her leg even though the fire she’d shattered it in happened years ago. She didn’t even limp anymore.
I shouldn’t be surprised about how well she recovered; whatever she put her mind to she achieved. That was one of the things that amazed me about her the most.
Looking her over, I took in the black, velvet dress that clung to her body in all the right places.
Maddy never had curves, which had upset her to no end when we were younger, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t a total fucking knockout.
All that soft brown hair, wide hazel eyes and pouty mouth that begged to be kissed.
And don’t even get me started on her body.
She was lean, toned and strong. Small breasts that would be just enough to get my mouth around.
Long, slender legs that would wrap around my waist as she moaned in my ear.
“Fuck,” I muttered as my cock started to wake up. I didn’t know what was wrong with me, but I kept thinking about Maddy like that lately. Like a lot. Maybe at least once a week.
Did I say week? I meant once a day.
It was like the more time we spent together, the more I wanted to explore where else our friendship could go.
But the places I wanted to take it weren’t very friendly.
And that unnerved me. I didn’t want to fall for Maddy.
I loved her, sure, like I loved a family member.
She’d been in my life for as long as I could remember, she was just as vital to me as an organ or a limb. I needed her to survive.
And yet…
I was starting to need her in other ways.
Ways I couldn’t have her.
“Thanks for the party, you’ve outdone yourself,” I said, leaning down and placing a kiss to her cheek.
She flushed prettily under the praise; she was practically glowing tonight. “You’re worth it, always.”
When Maddy had asked me to meet her at The Lonely Bison tonight and to dress in something that doesn’t smell like actual bull shit, I figured what she’d done. She wasn’t great at keeping secrets, so I was amazed that she’d kept a surprise party quiet.
I didn’t know what to say and I’d stared at her for too long, so I pulled her into a hug, wrapping my arms around her and cupping the back of her head. She settled against me, relaxing and I pulled back, pressing a kiss to her forehead that she always leaned into. I fought a smile as I pulled away.
I needed to get away from her.
“What do you want to drink?” I asked, gesturing to the bar.
She cocked her head to the side. “It should be me getting you drinks on your birthday.”
I shrugged. “You’ve done all this, at least let me get you a drink. What do you want?”
She pushed against my chest. “As if you have to ask.”
I chuckled. “I know, I was just checking.”
“Want me to come with?”
“No, you go and mingle.”
She nodded once then spun on her high heels and strutted off into the crowd. I headed to the bar, keeping an eye on her. There were a lot of cowboys in here tonight and although a majority were gentlemen, there was always the odd bad apple.
“Shit,” I huffed when I saw Maddy had gone and mingled alright. Mingled right over to fucking Dustin who looked like all his wet dreams had come true.
Why was he here tonight? Ever since he’d shown interest in Maddy, I’d developed a sudden, extreme dislike for the guy.
“Hey Leo, happy birthday!”
I turned, getting distracted from Maddy and seeing her younger sisters August and Daisy standing next to me. All the Cartwright sisters looked similar, they looked so much like Sherry that it hurt my heart sometimes to see them. But they’d all grown up, each one developing into their own person.
Me and Daisy loved to rib each other, seeing who could annoy who the most. August and I were big readers and both members of the same book club that took place monthly at the library.
August had started it, but I may have been the one to plant the seed and persuade her to do it. We loved to talk about romance novels.
“Thanks for coming, ladies,” I said, leaning down to give them both a hug.
“Anytime, rodeo clown,” Daisy said, scuffing my hair.
“What’s that?” I asked, pointing at her chest. When she looked down, I flicked her nose. I laughed out loud at the furious expression on her face.
“Damn you!”
“You fall for it every time,” I choked out.
She flounced off but I knew she wasn’t mad really, this was just how we bonded.
August rested her elbows on the bar as we waited for Max, the owner of the bar, to come and serve us. She flicked her amber eyes to me, raising a brow. “So, what did you think about Twilight?”
I slid my gaze to her. “She clearly should have picked Jacob.”
August’s mouth dropped open. “What? No!”
I fought a smirk. I knew August would have preferred Edward, she was a romantic dreamer too. She tucked a copper strand of hair behind her ear, something she did when she was working up to saying something serious.
“Edward is Bella’s true match. He’s drawn to her the way he isn’t with anyone else, and he’s had a hundred years to meet someone but no one came even close to Bella!”
I peered over my shoulder as Maddy laughed at something that stupid Dustin said, the tinkling sound of it rising above the noise of the bar. “I know how he feels,” I said absently.
“She’ll come around,” August spoke softly, as always. I turned back to her and saw she’d followed my gaze to Maddy.
“What? No, I didn’t—”
“There’s no use denying it,” she chuckled. “We spend our time reading about love; I know it when I see it.”
I glanced between her and Maddy, the realization slowly sinking in that these things I was feeling were visible to others. God, did Maddy notice it?
“Don’t worry, she’ll realize it too, eventually. She’s just playing around with all her Jacobs.”
My mouth flapped as I tried to think of a response. “But…Bella should have been with Jacob.”
“That’s how I know you’re wrong. You’re her Edward, her Darcy, her Jamie Frasier, her Ross, her Joshua Templeman.”
I frowned. “Who’s Joshua Templeman?”
“The Hating Game, it’s next on our list.”
“Ah,” I nodded.
She peered at me, scrunching her freckled nose. “You’re freaking out, aren’t you?”
I shook my head. “No.”
“Your voice just broke a bit.”
“It didn’t.” I cleared my throat, forcing the tone deeper. “It always sounds like that.”
She tsked. “You really didn’t know?”
I lowered my voice. “That I could be in love with my best friend? No.”
August hitched a shoulder. “Sorry to be the one to break it to you.”
“I’m not though. I can’t be.”
There was a pause while she let me run through all the denials in my brain.
“But if I was, what do I do now?”
She waved a hand dismissively and ordered a drink from Max. “I can’t help you with that.”
“Fuck.”
“Okay, so you can either decide to tell her. Or you can watch her go through all her Jacobs until she’s ready for her Edward, which doesn’t sound like fun.”
“Neither does telling her.” I shoved a hand through my hair. “I can’t tell her.”
She paid for her drink and brought the glass to her mouth, taking a big swallow before speaking again. “Why not?”
Max tried to serve me but my mind was too preoccupied. “Because. Maddy doesn’t feel the same way.”
“And?”
“What do you mean and? Do you know if she does?”
She shook her head. “I’ve got no idea. I don’t think so.”
I reeled. “So, you just want me to tell her I love her, knowing she won’t say it back and it’ll break my heart? That’s not very Romance Bookclub.”
August winced. “Isn’t your heart breaking anyway?”
My mouth flapped again. Currently, my heart was not breaking. But if I had to spend my life watching her choose every man except me, then yes that would kill me. Because Maddy didn’t do love. She didn’t do relationships, never had, never will.
And I want to find my true love. Settle down and have a family. I want the ultimate love. We couldn’t be more opposite in what we wanted from life.
My mind whirred with thoughts, each one more depressing than the last as I realized that I would never get what I wanted from Maddy. Not without her compromising everything she wanted, and I would never do that, I would never clip her wings like that.
“I, uh, think I’ve done enough here,” August said and slipped away into the crowd.
Or maybe it wasn’t actual romantic love, and it was just the love we’d developed from our friendship, combined with the closeness we shared that made it feel like it was more, but in reality it wasn’t?
A heavy hand clapped my back, making me jump.
“Hey man, happy birthday. Madison sent me over to see what was taking so long with those drinks?” Dustin said, a smug smile on his stupid face. God, I hated him. Especially because he called her Madison instead of Maddy or Mads.
“I gotta take a leak,” I muttered and pushed off the bar, heading towards the restrooms. I needed a minute to pull my thoughts together after August’s little bombshell.
Yeah, I’d been thinking about Maddy a lot recently, had for years.
And yeah, sometimes she slipped into my mind while I jerked off and I thought about all the things we could do.
I thought about the kisses we’d shared and how she felt when I slid my fingers inside her all those years ago.
But love?
That was a new one.
The knowledge settled in me. Sank into my bones but I couldn’t deny it. I’d probably felt like this for a while, just didn’t have a name for it before.
Shit, now what did I do?
I couldn’t tell her. It would ruin us when I said those words and she didn’t say them back. Then how would we go on being friends? Me walking on eggshells around her, her pitying looks. Just the thought had my heart splitting in my chest.
No.
This wouldn’t happen.
I wouldn’t be the one to break us.
Pushing my feelings down was the only way to keep us going. I’d forget about them eventually, I knew I would. I just needed to meet someone new. Someone really fucking special.
Who’s more special than Maddy?
I shoved a hand through my hair, tugging at the strands in frustration. I splashed some water on my face and went back out to the party, plastering on a smile. Talking with people I saw at the arena. Bull riders, barrel racers and ropers that I shared my time with, studying each of them.
I didn’t need to glance around the bar to know where Maddy was. I could feel her presence. I even knew when she came up behind me, placing her hand on my lower back and stepping up on tiptoes to talk in my ear.
“You don’t mind if I go home with ol’ Dusty, do you?”
I spun, ready to tell her she wouldn’t be going anywhere with anyone except me. But then I remembered; I wasn’t hers.
“Mind?” I swallowed around the boulder lodged in my throat. “Why would I mind?”
She booped my nose, clearly a little drunk. “Because he’s a bull rider too. Don’t want to make things awkward for you at work.” She winked, kinda sloppy and a whole lot adorable.
“Are you sober enough for this? Don’t want you to do something you’d regret.” My words had a little more bite than I meant them too.
“Why would I regret this? You know me, always like to have fun. No one’s feelings are going to get hurt,” she replied.
Except mine.
“Of course,” I said, my smile not quite reaching my eyes. “Have fun and don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.” I almost choked on the words.
“What would you do to Dusty?” she teased, dark eyebrows raised suggestively.
Fucking kill him.
“Har har, you know what I mean.”
“Sure thing, Cowboy. See you tomorrow?”
“Yep.”
She tilted her head, her eyes sweeping over my face. “You okay? Has turning twenty-six been harder than you thought?”
“Get out of here,” I chuckled, turning away from her stare, because if she looked at me any longer, I’d tell her everything.
She kissed my cheek again, burning my skin with her softness and disappeared to find her sisters. I walked through the bar, needing to get outside to get some air and bumped into Dustin.
“Hey, we’re heading out. I’m taking Madison home, no hard feelings?”
My fists clenched at my side. I could tell he was trying to get a rise out of me, but I wouldn’t let him.
“You’re just a Jacob.”
“What?” His smug facade slipped slightly. “Bro, your jealousy is showing, and it ain’t pretty.”
I stepped into his space, I was a few inches taller and wider, so he shrank back a little before he squared up to me.
“We’re not bros. Not anymore. Because you’ve drawn a line in the sand now. I told you to stay away from her and you didn’t listen. Don’t talk to me at the arena, don’t even look at me. Whatever superficial acquaintance we had is done.”
He scoffed and pushed me back. “Dude, you need to calm down, she’s just a girl.”
I crowded him again, not backing down. “Which just goes to show how little you deserve her. She’s not a girl, she’s a woman and a fucking incredible one at that.
I would go to war for her. So, if you’re going after her, after I told you not to, just know that’s what you’re doing.
You’re starting a war. One you won’t fucking win. ”