Chapter Twenty-Six #2
Leo kissed me, his warm lips moving softly over mine, drugging me. I moaned into his mouth as his tongue met mine, nerve endings zinging. His hand plunged into my hair, tugging the strands gently. Then he tore himself away, inhaling deeply, jaw clenching.
“I need to go.”
I rose up, looping my arms around his neck. “Stay?” I pleaded against his mouth.
“Come with me?” he replied.
I tsked. “I can’t. I would love to, but I can’t.”
Leo nodded. “I know, I get it.” He unhooked my arms and stood up, his erection pressing against the denim of his jeans and making my mouth water.
I climbed off the bed, standing in front of him. “Wait a minute. If you asked me to come, does that mean I can watch you now?”
He chuckled. “No, Tough Girl, it doesn’t.”
I pouted. “Well, that’s just mean.”
“Would you like it if I stood outside a burning building, watching you run in there, waiting for you to come out?” His words faltered at the end, like he couldn’t bear the thought of it.
“No.”
“Exactly.” He kissed the tip of my nose in triumph.
I huffed. “Fine, but I’m going to watch on TV.”
He held up his hands, grinning wide. “I can’t stop you from doing that.”
I narrowed my eyes. “Why aren’t you fighting me on that more?”
He pulled me into a hug. “Because I like the idea of my girl watching me.”
I snuggled in, looping my arms around him. “Your girl? That’s awfully presumptuous of you.”
“Just a fact, Mads. A pure, straight fact.”
My tummy felt funny again at the sureness in his words. Delighted but terrified at the same time. I stepped out of his hold and quickly pulled on a sweatshirt and some shorts.
“When will you be back?” I asked as we walked down the stairs, hand in hand.
“I’m not sure,” he glanced at me over his shoulder. “I might be able to come back and see you in a couple of weeks for a day or two.”
“Or I can come visit you?” I offered.
He made a noise of disagreement in his throat.
“Why not?”
We went out onto the porch, the late afternoon sun sitting low in the sky and bathing the ranch in its golden hour rays. The color highlighting the gold strands in Leo’s hair and the amber flecks in his eyes. He stepped down off the porch, but I stayed on the top step, putting us eye to eye.
“I like the idea of you watching me on TV, but if you’re there in real life, I’ll be far too distracted—”
“Which would be very dangerous,” I finished for him.
He nodded and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. “It would. I’d like to come home to you, in one piece.”
I squirmed on the spot. The way he talked it was like we were forever. I knew deep down how I felt about him, but I couldn’t voice it. I couldn’t risk it.
“I know you don’t want to hear this,” he began. “But I love you.”
He said the words so simply. A completely earnest expression on his face, his eyes brightened with affection and joy. I’d never seen my best friend in love, but it suited him so damn well.
Silence lingered between us as I floundered for what to say.
“I can’t…” I started, looking away.
“You know, I’ve lost a lot of people too. I understand why you can’t say it, why you’re going to deny yourself a happily ever after and future so full of joy and possibility that you could reach out and grab it any time you wanted. You’re scared.”
My eyes snapped to his, his mouth lifting to one side when he knew he’d hit a nerve.
He squeezed my shoulders. “I’m scared too, terrified. Do you think I could survive this life if I lost you?”
Tears gathered in my eyes and I blinked rapidly, trying to swallow past the huge lump growing in my throat.
“I wouldn’t survive,” he continued. “But you know what would survive? The memories of all the times I had with you. The memories of every kiss,” he dropped a kiss to my cheek to cement his words.
“Every touch. Every laugh. Every moment we shared together, that made me feel so whole. So loved, so full of every beautiful thing life had to offer. And that would be a life very well lived. I could never regret that, even if the worst thing in the entire world happened.”
Leo swiped away a tear that had the audacity to drip onto my cheek.
“But that’s just me,” he shrugged casually, like he hadn’t put his entire heart on the line.
I laughed, because he could always make me laugh. “You’re an asshole.”
He chuckled. “I’m your asshole, whenever you’re ready to accept me.”
I gripped his chin, the bristles of his beard tickling my hand as I trailed my fingers over his jaw. I stared deep into his warm eyes, and it was like I was looking at him through a new lens, like it was the first time. He gave me a small smile, then pressed a kiss to my lips.
Panic clawed at my chest as he started to walk away from me. He was leaving and I would be lost without him again. Living a black and white life without him bringing the full spectrum of color and lighting it up.
“I’ll try!” I shouted after him.
He turned around, walking backwards but smiling wide at me. “I know you will, because you’re not a quitter.”
I was grinning at his grin, he was such a goofball. “See you later, alligator.”
“In a while crocodile,” he returned.
“Bye bye butterfly.”
“Take care, polar bear!”
I rolled my eyes. “You’ve done that one before, come up with an original.”
He huffed a laugh. “Baby, I can’t even think straight with you standing there looking at me like that.”
I actually blushed.
Leo made me blush, not even by saying something dirty, but by saying something so sweet I genuinely had no response. Not only that but he made me speechless.
I flipped him off.
His bark of laughter lingered even when he was a speck in the distance.