Chapter 5 #3
“That’s how I feel about Jonah. I just hate that we’ve had to struggle so much. I want better for him, and I hope that working here at the resort is going to allow me to turn things around.”
“You know we’re all here to help. Harlow will find you the perfect place to live when you’re ready and…” Pausing, he chuckled. “Although considering what happened with my rental, I’m not sure if you want to take my advice on that.”
“That was a freak accident. Harlow had nothing to do with it. But I’ve sat and talked with her, and we’re taking it month to month, and she’ll keep me updated on what’s available.” She sighed. “I appreciate Kelsey and Jayce letting me stay in their cabin, but…”
“There are several others that aren’t in use that are for family. If you really needed a place because Jayce and Kelsey were here and you were still living in their cabin, we’d find somewhere for you to stay.”
“I know, and I appreciate it, but…being a charity case sucks. I just want to be in control of my life. Adam was always unpredictable, and I spent the last six years in fight-or-flight mode. I could never relax. I finally feel like I can, but I know I won’t fully until Jonah and I are completely on our own.
” Pausing, she took a sip of her wine. “I know you don’t understand that feeling, but trust me, it’s my biggest dream. ”
“I may not know financial struggles, but I know how strong the desire is to be in control of your own life and not have other people dictating it to you.”
She heard the resentment in his voice and knew she had to ask…
“How are things with your parents now? I mean…since your divorce.”
He shrugged. “We’ve come to an agreement, and they’re very involved in Annabeth’s life. They realized they shouldn’t have interfered, and they’ve apologized. I accepted it, but sometimes I find it hard to…I don’t know…to love them. Does that make sense?”
There wasn’t a suitable answer to that, so she simply nodded.
“Sometimes I can’t help but think about how different my life would be if they hadn’t interfered.” Then, he boldly reached over and took her hand in his. “If we had been allowed to have the future we used to talk about.”
Uh-oh…this was so not the direction she saw the conversation going.
“Connor, we were just kids. You can’t know that we would have ended up together. By the time we all stopped coming here…there was college and…and…”
“I know what you’re saying, but I know how I felt. I would have gone anywhere to be with you, Lexi, and I’m so sorry that I wasn’t strong enough to stand up to my family.”
Tears stung her eyes, and she had to force herself not to look directly at him. “Oh, Connor. We can’t keep looking back. It won’t change anything.” Now she did look at him. “Thinking about all of life’s what-if moments will only hurt us. We’re here now, and we should be thankful for that.”
The kitchen timer went off, and he kissed her hand before he stood and went to the stove. Watching him from behind wasn’t a terrible option because it gave her a chance to study him.
And maybe ogle his physique just a bit.
She knew they couldn’t just spend the night in silence, so she tried to find a neutral topic.
“So talk to me about how you became a chef.” She got to her feet and walked over to watch him finish their meal. And as it turned out, it was the perfect question to ask. He was so passionate about his career, and he took such pride in it, that just listening to him talk about it made her happy.
He held her chair out for her before serving her, and when he sat down and topped off their wine, he held up his glass again. “To new beginnings.”
She felt herself blush. “To new beginnings.”
The meal was spectacular, as expected. Connor continued sharing about his career and how his plan was to open a restaurant right here in Harbortown that was all his and not connected to the resort.
“That’s pretty ambitious,” she said. “How are you going to find the time to do it all and take care of Annabeth?”
“That’s the hardest part. When Rachel left, I leaned heavily on my parents to help me take care of her, but it wasn’t until we moved here that I realized how much I had been missing out on. And how I wasn’t being much of a father.”
“Again, that’s the plight of the single parent, right? We can’t be everywhere at once.”
“I know, but that doesn’t make it right. Right now, I have Ruth and you, but I have to remind myself that it’s okay to delegate some of the work and that the sky isn’t going to fall if I don’t work eighteen hours a day.”
“That is very true.”
He regaled her with stories about some of the wildest things that happened while running his previous restaurants, and she shared her less than glamorous stories from working in childcare. They ate, drank a little more wine, and then cleaned up together.
“I hope you left room for dessert,” he said as he walked out to the living room area with two small bowls of chocolate mousse topped with fresh fruit and whipped cream.
Lexi was about to say that he certainly knew his way to a girl’s heart, but that seemed right up there with the Marry Me Chicken. Too many innuendos for their first date.
“I know how much you love chocolate, and I figured you might appreciate something other than s’mores.” Connor handed her a bowl and then sat on the sofa beside her.
This was one of her all-time favorite desserts, and it meant a lot that he remembered it from all those years ago.
“Mmm…” she hummed around a spoonful of decadent chocolate. “So good.”
“I remember how much you used to love when they had it for dessert up at the lodge,” he admitted.
“It’s been years since I’ve had this, so…thank you.”
“It’s my pleasure.”
They ate in companionable silence for a few minutes until Lexi finished her dessert. “So…what are we doing, Connor?”
He placed his empty bowl on the coffee table. “You mean other than having dessert?”
She laughed. “Exactly. Was this a date or two friends hanging out?”
“I was kind of hoping you’d tell me.”
Her eyes went wide again. “Me? Why?”
“Well, earlier you said it’s a date, but I wasn’t sure if you were just saying it because it’s a saying or if you wanted it to be a date.”
“Oh.”
He playfully nudged her shoulder. “So, which is it?”
Good question.
Shifting slightly, she faced him. “I’m not sure. On the one hand, I’ve really enjoyed our newfound friendship. It’s been nice having a fellow single-parent around who understands the struggles.”
“O-kay…” Turning, he mimicked her pose.
For a moment she didn’t say anything, but then she figured she might as well be brutally honest. “Kelsey reminded me how we were just kids back when we dated and that…I don’t know…maybe we didn’t really feel what we thought we felt.”
“And this matters why?”
“Because I don’t know if I want to date an ex,” she replied simply. “I don’t want to relive the past, Connor. It’s not possible. And honestly, there were too many disappointments.”
He nodded. “But we also can’t pretend that the past never happened. We do have a history. We shared a lot of firsts and, personally, I don’t want to act like they never happened.”
Like she could actually forget…
“All I’m saying is that…” Pausing, she sighed. “I don’t know what I’m saying.”
Another nod. “I get that too.”
“So where does that leave us?” For some reason, she wanted him to make the decision. She was too afraid to do it on her own, and truthfully, she didn’t trust herself. He used to be able to read her mind, and she wished he still could.
Just being this close to him was wreaking havoc on her senses.
Her heart was doing that uneven, nervous thud it hadn’t done since she was a teenager—since him.
Being like this with him again, she could feel the years folding in on themselves, collapsing the distance they had both built.
His eyes lingered on hers, familiar and different all at once, like a song she used to know by heart but hadn’t heard in ages.
Some of the windows were open and the night air carried the faint scent of pine and the hush of crickets, but all Lexi could focus on was how near he was—how the line of his jaw had sharpened, how the boy she used to know had been replaced by a man who still somehow knew exactly how to look at her.
“I almost forgot what this felt like,” Connor murmured, his voice low, hesitant, as if speaking too loud would break the fragile moment hanging between them.
Lexi’s breath caught. Her lips parted to answer, but no words came—only the realization that she wanted to close the gap, wanted to feel what she had denied herself for so long.
When he leaned in, it wasn’t rushed. It was cautious, reverent, like he was asking permission with every inch.
She didn’t move at first, stunned by the surge of memory—summer nights, whispered promises, the ache of goodbye.
But then her hand lifted almost on its own, brushing against his chest, steadying herself as if to say yes, I remember too.
Their lips met, soft and trembling, the kiss tasting of longing and years lost. It wasn’t the wild, eager kiss of teenagers.
It was slower, deeper, weighted with everything they hadn’t said in fifteen years.
For a moment, Lexi felt both sixteen again and completely herself now, every wall she had built crumbled in the warmth of his mouth against hers.
When they finally pulled apart, just a fraction, she realized she was shaking. Connor’s forehead rested against hers, his breath uneven.
“Worth the wait?” he whispered.
Lexi let out a shaky laugh, her lips tingling. “More than I ever thought it would be.”
“Want to try it again?”
“Yes, please.” And then his lips were on hers, and it was different. Urgent. Like the dam had been breached and now they were okay with being carried away by all the emotions. The want. The need.
They moved closer—practically chest to chest. Connor’s hands cupped her face as hers clutched at the front of his shirt.
She couldn’t remember ever wanting anything as much as she wanted everything that was happening in this moment.
She wanted this kiss to never end, for him to touch her everywhere and remind her that she was a woman because…
God, it had been years since she felt desirable.
Slowly, he maneuvered them until they were lying down on the sofa. His body covered hers, and she nearly cried out at how freaking good it felt. Every hard inch of him was nestled against every place she was soft, and she was on the verge of begging him for more.
Her hands raked through his hair as the kiss was on the verge of savage. It was so deep and wet and untamed, and yet so perfect. Connor was clearly feeling just as desperate for her as she was for him, and it was a heady realization.
When her legs went around his waist, she was certain they were going to start tearing at each other’s clothes when…
Her phone chimed with an incoming text.
And then his did the same.
As if of one mind, they slowly broke apart. Breathless and a little dazed, they turned their heads toward the coffee table and their phones.
Swallowing hard, she said, “You know that’s going to be Axel and Maisie letting us know they’re on their way back, right?”
Muttering a curse, he carefully moved off of her and stood. “Is it wrong that I’ll be mad if it is?”
Laughing softly, she sat up. “Nope. Because I’m feeling the same way.”
Connor grabbed her phone and handed it to her and then picked his up. They both sighed wearily as they read the texts.
Maisie: Hey, guys! We’re on our way back! Everyone’s a little sticky from ice cream, but we had a great time!
Then there was a picture of the kids with ice cream smiles.
Maisie: See you soon!
Connor sat back down beside her. “It’s hard to be mad when they look so happy.”
“Yup.”
Turning his head, he kissed her slowly, tenderly. Resting his forehead against hers, he murmured, “I was envisioning a completely different end to our date.”
She knew exactly what he meant. “Me too.” Another sigh. “Sometimes it sucks being a responsible adult.”
“I know. But hopefully we’ll be able to do this again. Soon.”
“I don’t know how many other animated movies are coming to Harbortown that Axel is looking to go to.”
She was teasing, and clearly Connor knew it.
“We’ll figure it out.” He paused. “But only if it’s what you want. I know we got caught up here a few minutes ago, but if you have second thoughts…”
Reaching up, she caressed his stubbled jaw. “Connor?”
“Hmm?”
“No second thoughts. If Maisie hadn’t texted, we both know where we’d be right now, and it’s where I want to be.”
Relief washed over his face. “Oh. Okay. Good.”
“But for now, we need to get ready to face our kids—and our friends—without looking guilty about what we were doing,” she said carefully, regretfully.
“I don’t feel guilty,” he assured her. “But I do need to work on making sure I don’t look disappointed.”
“Same.”
They sat in companionable silence for a few minutes before he stood and held out his hand. “Come on. Let’s head out to the parking lot and wait for them. We’ll enjoy our last few minutes having a moonlight stroll.”
Placing her hand in his, Lexi stood and nodded. “I like the sound of that.”
“And hopefully we won’t have to wait another fifteen years to do this again.”
Laughing, they made their way out the door, but there wasn’t a doubt in her mind that they were both hoping that wasn’t an exaggeration.