Chapter 8 #3
Her head rested on his shoulder. “You’re a good man, Connor. And an amazing dad. Annabeth’s lucky to have you.”
“And Jonah’s lucky to have you.”
They strolled along quietly, but in the distance she could hear their kids laughing, and it made her smile.
“You know,” he said hesitantly. “Between the two of us, we have two very lucky kids. Imagine how much luckier they’d be with two parents who actually loved them and wanted to be with them.”
For a moment, it didn’t quite register what he was saying, but when it did, she immediately stopped walking. Connor calmly paused and turned to face her. His expression completely serene—like he hadn’t just dropped a huge bombshell.
“Connor, what are you…?”
“Think about it,” he whispered as he gently grasped her shoulders. “We’re not strangers, and since we reconnected, it’s still there. Everything we felt as kids—it’s there. We missed our chance all those years ago, and I take full responsibility for it.”
She let out a shaky breath but couldn’t seem to form any words to reply.
“I see the way you are with Annabeth, and it makes my heart ache for her because she’s never known that kind of love. A mother’s love. And I’m crazy about Jonah,” he went on. “We’re living these separate yet connected lives, and I don’t want the separate part anymore.”
“Anymore? Connor, it’s been like…a month!”
“No, it’s been years, and you know it,” he gently reminded her. “We were forced to hit pause, but now that we’re here again, I don’t want to wait. I look at you and I see my future. Our family. I want all the things we should have already had.”
Tears stung her eyes, and she was shaking. He was saying all the right things, all the things she occasionally let herself fantasize about. But…
“We were just supposed to be testing the waters today, and now you’re talking about…about…”
“Lexi, I love you, and I think you love me too. We could have an amazing life, the four of us. Or…more than four of us.” Reaching up, he cupped her face, and all the emotion—the urgency, the need, the love—was right there in his eyes.
“Why do we want to keep taking it slow when we’ve already lost so much time? ”
She had no actual answer for that other than it was happening so fast, but…was it? They weren’t strangers; they knew each other better than most couples did, so…why was she hesitating?
Because I’m afraid of getting hurt again…
And there it was.
They might be older and wiser and all that crap, but there was one factor that hadn’t been considered.
His family.
Did she believe they were suddenly less snobby and ready to accept her with open arms?
Not even a little bit.
They had carefully avoided that topic, but it was always there in the back of her mind.
“Say something,” he urged, his hands still warm on her face.
Reaching up, she placed her hands over his before gently grasping his wrists. “You have no idea how much I want to say yes and just…just take that leap of faith.”
“But…” And the disappointment was palpable.
“But…can we please just go and sit with the kids and take this one step at a time?” Pausing, she shook her head. “Everything you just said is so wonderful and makes my heart so damn happy, but…this was just supposed to be us testing the waters. I know this isn’t the response you wanted, but…”
“No,” he whispered before placing a soft kiss on her lips. “But I understand what you’re saying. I just couldn’t keep it to myself anymore. I wanted you to know how I felt and where I saw us going. And if you’re not ready, it’s okay. I can wait.”
Her heart literally ached at his admission.
“Thank you.”
Stepping aside, he put his arm around her as they resumed their walk to the playground.
When they came around the bend, she could hear Jonah shrieking with pure joy, and when they could see what was going on, she saw her son chasing Annabeth around the jungle gym.
It was sweet that Annabeth was running slower so he could almost catch her.
We could have an amazing life, the four of us.
Yes, we could, she thought. These would be our kids. And we could have more.
She thought of the conversation she had with Kelsey the day they moved into the resort about how she always wished she could have more kids so Jonah wouldn’t be alone.
Everything that Connor just professed to her told her she could have it all, and she could have it with the only man she ever truly loved.
So again, why was she hesitating? Wouldn’t the risk be worth the reward? Would Connor really let his family do to them again what they did in the past?
The kids ran past them, but Annabeth came to a stop when she realized they were there.
“Dad, why is Lexi wearing your coat?” she asked with a laugh. “It’s too big for her!”
His arm tightened around her briefly before he replied. “Well, she was cold and didn’t have a jacket, and…she’s my girlfriend, so I decided to share mine.”
Annabeth simply blinked at them for a minute like she was processing the information. “Like…a girlfriend? A real girlfriend?”
He nodded. “Yup.”
She studied them both again. “Like…someone you would marry?”
Another nod. “Yup.”
Now she focused on Lexi. “And my dad is your boyfriend?”
Smiling, she nodded. “He is.”
“Do you like him a lot?”
“I sure do.”
“Do you love him?”
Wow. The kid really went for the jugular.
“I do.” Connor’s hand gently squeezed her shoulder in acknowledgement, but neither looked away from his daughter.
With a slight head tilt, her eyes narrowed. “If you guys got married, would Jonah be my brother?”
They both nodded.
“Would we all live in our cabin?”
Lexi and Connor exchanged glances before he answered. “Well, maybe temporarily. But we’re building a house so we’d all live there if we got married.”
“But I’d still get my own room, right?”
“Naturally,” Connor assured her.
That seemed to please her. “Awesome!” Then she turned and ran. “Hey, Jonah! You’re gonna be my brother!”
Oh, good lord…
Smiling like the cat who ate the canary, Connor faced her. “Waters tested, and we passed with flying colors. The next move is yours, beautiful.”
Such a simple yet terrifying statement.
Swallowing hard, she turned to face him.
“Can’t we just be happy with today and this step?
” Taking his hands in hers, she gave them a reassuring squeeze.
“These last few months—especially this last one—have been an emotional roller coaster for me. There’s still so much we don’t know about each other, and we need to get to know the people we are now instead of thinking we’re with the teenage versions of ourselves. ”
Something briefly crossed his face—disappointment?
—but when he spoke, his voice was soft and understanding.
“I think we’ve let those versions of ourselves go weeks ago.
We’ve been fully focused on the here and now, and I don’t know what else there is to learn or show that would make you feel more confident in us. ”
I don’t either…
But before she could answer, her son came running over. “Mom! Mom! Mom! Annabeth’s gonna be my sister! And Connor’s gonna be my dad! That’s so cool!” And then he ran off again.
She watched him take off before glancing at Connor, who was grinning again.
“I know you think this helps, but he’s four and he doesn’t understand any of this,” she murmured.
“And I get that, but it makes me feel good knowing our two toughest critics are on our side.”
Two toughest…?
The snort was out before she could stop it, causing him to look at her curiously.
They just stared at each other for what felt like forever before she caved and explained herself.
“I just don’t think Annabeth and Jonah were going to be too hard to win over,” she said mildly.
“We all get along and already act like a family most of the time. They’re both young and would adapt to any situation, especially since we both genuinely like each other’s child.
” She shrugged. “Your statement just felt a little…dramatic.”
“Oh. Okay.”
She hated lying to him, but the last thing she wanted to do after having such a great day and seeing the kids so excited was to bring up his parents and her insecurities.
Those were their toughest critics.
She was just incredibly thankful that they weren’t here and she didn’t have to deal with them on top of everything else right now.
Between the resort getting ready for its soft opening and all that goes with it and this wonderful turn in her relationship with Connor, she didn’t need anything else on her plate.
With any luck, the Winslowes were off traveling the world and wouldn’t come back for a very, very long time.