Chapter 14 #3
And the possibility of being overcome with emotion. She promised herself she wasn’t going to be sad or cry or do anything like that, but it was still there on the fringes of her mind, just waiting for him to give her that tender look that would be her undoing.
He opened the door for her and stepped aside so she could go in first. If she let herself treat this like any other night, she would be okay.
So, slipping off her jacket and shoes, she moved over and sat down on the sofa while Milo kicked off his shoes and went to grab them something to drink, like he always did.
For a moment, she considered not letting either of them talk—the last thing she wanted was to end the day depressed and crying.
She could easily stand up, strip down to her underwear, and seduce the hell out of him.
But when he turned and smiled at her, she couldn’t seem to make herself move.
Let’s call that plan B.
Milo came to sit beside her, and she noticed the suitcase tucked in the corner of the room—the only physical reminder that he was leaving.
“Here we are,” he said quietly.
“Yup. Here we are.” She felt suddenly shy and had no idea why. Glancing around again, she sighed. “So, um…are you all packed?”
“I think so. I didn’t bring a lot with me and I always leave clothes here. It keeps things easy.”
“That makes sense.”
Silence. They had suddenly become two people who were extremely cautious about what they said, and it sucked.
Apparently, Milo felt the same way because he let out a small laugh. “This is ridiculous, right? We’ve never been this awkward before. Even when we weren’t getting along, we could still exchange intelligent conversation.”
That made her laugh. “That’s very true.” She sighed.
“I don’t want to talk about you leaving because I don’t want to be sad.
I know that’s just prolonging the inevitable, but I can’t help it.
Then again, maybe we need to talk about it because it’s definitely happening.
In twelve hours, you’re leaving for the airport and we don’t know when you’ll be back. ”
“Okay, but we’re going to talk every day,” he reminded her. “We’ll video chat and call and text, and we’ll both be busy working. Essentially, we’ll be returning a bit to the lives we were living before we started dating.”
“Can I let you in on a secret?”
He nodded.
“I was really getting tired of that life.”
“Nora…”
“No, please. I feel like I need to say this.” Another sigh. “It’s something I wanted to say to you a while ago, but at that point, you were still like…I don’t know…one of my bosses. We were dating and all that, but it still felt weird to admit that this wasn’t something I wanted to keep doing.”
“But then why…”
“I’m also not ready to just quit. I mean…what would I do? I’m not trained for anything else.”
For a moment, he looked so hopeful, like he had all the answers, and unfortunately, she knew what his answer was, and it wasn’t something she was prepared for.
“I would never leave the Lakeview Harbor Resort and go with you to Seattle so you could take care of me. I know it may not seem like a big deal to you, but it is to me. I don’t want anyone to look at me like I’m with you so I can quit my job and have my boyfriend pay my way.
” She shook her head. “And I wouldn’t want anyone ever questioning why I’m with you. ”
And just like that, he deflated.
“And you want to know the real kicker?” she asked, but didn’t wait for him to respond.
“In a million years, I never would’ve considered not working.
I’ve always loved to be busy, and getting to hike and explore in some of the most beautiful places in the world has been the absolute best. I’m just… I’m ready for what comes next.”
“And what is that?”
She’d come this far…
“I want what my parents have. What my siblings have. I want to settle down and put down roots. Start a family.” Tears stung her eyes because this wasn’t making their last night together any easier.
Slowly—as if he were giving her time to move—Milo reached out and took one of her hands in his. “And you deserve all of those things. I hate to think that you accepted the promotion because you’re afraid of what other people would think if you came back to Seattle with me.”
“That was part of it, but…I don’t know that I’m ready to stop…
you know…like right now.” Groaning, she slouched back against the sofa cushions.
“I know I’m not making any sense. Probably because we haven’t been dating that long and maybe we need this—the time to do the long-distance thing so we really know how we feel.
” Turning her head, she looked at him. “Does that make sense?”
He smiled tenderly, and Nora mentally cursed the first tear for falling.
“It does make sense,” he said quietly. “That actually makes more sense than anything I’ve been telling myself for the last few weeks. I’ve been looking at this separation as being negative, but you just found a silver lining.”
“But what if…”
Shaking his head, Milo placed a finger over her lips. “No. Nothing negative. This is going to be the confirmation we both need so we can feel good about how we move forward.”
He was right, she thought.
“And if you decide that this job is something you want to keep doing for a while longer, then you should feel confident in your decision. Just know you don’t have to have all the answers right now.
Because…I don’t have them either. But if you ever think that you’re done and want to have some time to really figure out what you want to do as your next career?
Know that you always have a home with me in Seattle. ”
“Milo…”
Carefully, she moved closer to him, touching his face, caressing his jaw, because she just needed to touch him.
“I’m going to miss you—this—so much,” she said.
“Me too. I used to think I was fine being alone, but now?” he said, and she heard the slight tremble in his voice. “Now I don’t want it. Everywhere is going to feel empty because you’re not going to be there with me.”
He was breaking her heart.
We’re doing the right thing. The smart thing. Aren’t we?
“Can we please go inside and just…just crawl under the blankets and you hold me?” she asked, her own voice shaking. “Please?”
Without a word, he stood and gently pulled her to her feet before scooping her up into his arms. “Whatever you want, sweet Nora, it’s yours,” he promised.
It was on the tip of her tongue to say she wanted forever, but the words wouldn’t come out.
Maybe someday.
But not tonight.