5. Will
Chapter five
Will
When Mia invites me to come to Switzerland, by private jet no less, I’m thrilled. I love to travel, and traveling to hang out with my hot best friend alone—by private jet, did I say? No sane person would say no. Over the years, I’ve come to terms with the fact that Mia and I will never be together, but just because we can’t be more than friends doesn’t mean I don’t want to spend every second I can with her and support her however I can.
It doesn’t take me long to come down off my high, though. Mia is usually quick to respond to messages, so her being this slow, and asking me to come to Bern…well, it probably means she got some upsetting news and needs a friendly face.
As Mia promised, a car arrives at ten sharp to take me to the airport. Being driven around is one thing, but being driven around in a black Bentley by an actual driver who holds the door open for me is a new experience, that’s for sure. Must be so weird to be the Prime Minister or something and go from a normal bloke to a bloke with a driver. Getting to the airport and seeing the plane in the flesh though? It more than makes up for the weirdness. The plane is phenomenal. I’d been expecting a little Cessna M2 or something, but my eyes almost fall out of my face when I realize it’s a Bombardier Challenger 650. Admittedly, I’m a bit of a plane nerd. It’s the best thing I inherited from my dad. I’ve been saving for ages to get flying lessons, and I’ve already decided that's what I'm getting myself for Christmas. I'll have to ask Mia later if she minds me telling Matt about the flight. He’ll be so jealous, he’s a plane nerd too.
The pilot, who I later learn is named Joe, greets me when I get out of the car. He’s probably a few years older than me, late thirties, maybe early forties. He sees right away by the way I’m checking her out that I’m interested in planes. He invites me to the cockpit to spend the flight chatting with him. The flight attendant, a pretty woman named Kate, pops in and out during the trip to check on us, bring snacks and to chat.
Joe is real supportive of me learning to fly and tells me about his experiences when he was learning.
When we land, I’m standing at the bottom of the plane stairs engrossed in conversation with Joe and Kate about the aircraft, when Mia steps out of a dark car on the runway. I feel her before I see her. Somehow my body always knows she’s there.
I excuse myself from the conversation to jog over to her. I pick her up in a bear hug, spinning her in a circle, her butter-yellow dress flaring around us. She buries her head into my neck and the heat of her laugh on the exposed skin of my throat sparks desire through me. I swallow it down, trying to focus on her instead.
She laughs, the joyful sound running down my spine.
“I can’t believe you came all the way out here! I was going to meet you in town.”
“I wanted to see you right off the plane. I knew you’d love it.” Mia is beaming up at me, and it feels like sunshine radiating onto my skin.
“Will managed to convince Joe to let him sit in the cockpit.” Kate and Joe both sidle over. “Lovely to see you again, Mia.” I see a flash of confusion across Mia’s face, which turns to recognition as her eyes lock onto Joe. She turns back to me, eyebrows raised.
“How’d you manage that?”
“It wasn’t that hard if I’m honest,” I say. Joe and I both laugh. “Thanks so much, both of you—I learned a bunch, thanks, Joe.”
“Hope to see you up in the sky soon, buddy.” Joe gives me a friendly slap on the back before he and Kate turn back to the plane.
Snaking my arm around her shoulders, I look down at Mia and ask, “Right, M, where to?”
“Wow, that’s big. So they adopted you out even though they had money to raise you? Or did they make the money after you were born?” I ask. I know she isn’t comfortable talking about it because she’s strangling her hands as she walks, so I want to be careful. I watch her as her focus wanders across the other side of the river.
“The impression I have is that they already had the money, it’s some old family business, I guess. Maybe they left half the money to me because they felt bad for giving me up?”
She runs her hand through her hair, and the sun filters through the trees on the riverbank, catching her hair. It distracts me for a moment.
“It’s not that I’m even upset about it, you know I don’t care that I’m adopted. I grew up with great parents. I guess I just don’t understand why,” she continues. A hint of sadness has snuck into her voice. I reach out and squeeze her shoulder.
“I’ve always thought people adopt out babies they can’t care for.” She scuffs her foot along the dirt path. “But they definitely could have afforded another child. Maybe I was wrong about that.”
“Another child?” I raise my eyebrows.
She gestures toward a bench on the edge of the river. We sit. “I have a brother. He’s in hospital at the moment, after a skiing accident.”
Her head bows, and her shoulders slump. I sling my arm over her shoulder, pulling her toward me. “Is he going to be okay? Are you okay?”
She snuggles her head into my chest, and shakes her head. “Gerrard didn’t go into all the details, but I mean, it doesn’t sound great,” she mumbles, voice muffled in my sweatshirt.
We sit quietly, watching the slow-moving water meander over rocks. I’m used to her ruminating on stuff, sorting out her emotions before she’s ready to talk.
After a few moments, she clears her throat. “It’s hard to feel much about it. I just feel numb. And like an asshole. Why don’t I care more? I feel like a numb asshole.” She lets out a sigh. “I’ve never even met the guy.”
I lean back, then grin down at her. “Well, if you don’t give a shit about your injured brother laying in a hospital bed somewhere, at least while we’re here we can get a good look around.” She freezes for a second, and I wonder whether I misread the situation. She’s well used to my sense of humor, but maybe I took it too far. Then she loosens up, her breath coming out in a shaky whoosh. She gently bats my stomach with the back of her hand, as if to tell me off, but she smiles up at me.
If she’s willing to joke about things, I know she’ll be okay.
We spend the rest of the morning and early afternoon before lunch meandering around Bern. In the early afternoon, we head to a bar on the waterfront.
“Yesterday, as soon as I got to the hotel after chatting with Gerrard, I made a phone appointment with my psychologist,” Mia says, fork in hand.
I nod and swallow. “Oh, yeah?” I take another forkful of rosti and veges.
“Good, I guess. We talked this morning before you got here. I just told her what I told you, I’ve inherited this money from my birth parents and feel fucking weird about it.” Mia puts her fork down and scoots her chair back, taking her sunglasses off her head and popping them back on her face. We’re sitting outside again, and the sun is starting to get lower on the horizon, so we’re bathed in sunlight despite sitting under a veranda.
“What’s the weirdness?” I ask, watching light dance off reflections and sparkle against the ceiling of the veranda.
She looks down her nose at me. “Seriously, Will?”
I shrug. “I get it’s weird, for sure. But you know, most people would be thrilled to inherit a bunch of money, especially from someone you didn’t know. Somehow as soon as you told me, I knew you’d hate it, but I can’t really pinpoint why.”
Mia nods, “I mean, you’re not wrong, most people would be happy about it.” She pauses and picks at her food. “Where Una and I got to was I can’t stand change. Even good change.” I don’t have to be a psychologist with a fancy degree to tell her that. Anyone could spend five minutes in a room with her and know. “That sounds so stupid, I know. And even though having a bunch of money will help in lots of ways, I can’t stop panicking about the bad stuff.”
I nod, following along. I’d love life-changing money. Mia, on the other hand, hates even the smallest changes. Something like trying a new restaurant can send Mia into a spiral, let alone life-changing ones. I’m not surprised she’s struggling right now.
“It’s everything, that’s getting to me, really. How will our friends react? Do I even tell them? Am I lying to them if I don’t?” Mia sighs, “Do I quit my job? I have a brother.” She runs her fingers through her hair, blowing a stray lock from her face.
I feel like a dick sitting here saying nothing, but what can I say?
“It’s horrible that some people are born into absolute shit situations, and some people have that kind of money. Una told me that life’s not fair, and I have to suck it up.”
I recognize Mia’s catastrophizing, and I know better than to let it stand. “She did not tell you that, Mia.” I try to strike a balance between gentle and firm. “What’s the worst thing that can happen if you do nothing?”
Mia laughs. Not a proper laugh, one of those slightly hollow, brittle laughs. “No, you’re right. But she did say it’s okay to feel like that. We’re going to talk more next week. She’s ‘going to help me with some techniques’ and I need to learn to ‘sit with my feelings’, or so she told me.” She raises her hands to make air quotes as she speaks, then laughs that brittle laugh again. “I hate it.”
“Yeah. I mean, it sucks.” I put down my fork and push my chair back to get more comfortable, pulling the ankle of my right leg onto the knee of the left. “I’m glad you talked to her though.”
“When I told her I invited you she was happy. She told me she was glad I was talking to her, but she was stoked when I told her you were coming.” The sun has moved and is now falling across her face. She lifts her hand over the top of her glasses to shield herself from the sun creeping over the top. “I’m really glad you’re here.”
“Where else would I be, Mia?” I look over at her. In that moment, I can’t think of anywhere I’d prefer to be. She’s the best friend I could dream of, and even though I don’t understand all her concerns about the potential changes in her life, I’ll do anything to support her in any way I can.