Chapter 7
Chapter Seven
T he Fourth of July dawned sunny with the promise of a warm day. I taught a sensual massage session to a young couple in the morning, and then I headed to the park in the afternoon for the day’s festivities. There was a parade in the morning that ended in the park, followed by food trucks and live music. Half the town had closed shop early because Mayflower took their festivals seriously.
The fireworks would take place over Freedom Lake after it got dark. Harmony and Morticia waved, saving me a spot on a blanket in front of the gazebo. On a blanket next to them were Zoe, her children, and Chaz. I waved and made my way through the crowd until I reached them.
“I’m so hungry.” I sat on a blanket. “I’m seriously always so hungry.”
“Get used to it, babe.” Harmony chuckled. “Have you seen the size of your babies’ father?”
My gaze slid over to Matt, who was running his food truck while his cousin sang Irish music on the stage in the gazebo. As if drawn to me, Matt made eye contact and smiled wide as he waved. I swallowed hard, trying not to notice how big his biceps were. How big his entire body was. I waved back then looked away.
“I still can’t believe you’re having twins.” Morticia stared at my stomach in wonder. “The human body is miraculous. I mean, even with all your organs, it still finds room for two babies. Two! That’s insane.” Her eyes met my terrified ones, and her smile slipped. “Sorry. Didn’t mean to freak you out.” She bit her bottom lip.
“You’re not telling me anything I haven’t already thought about. How am I supposed to deliver two bear cubs?” I grumbled. “They’re literally going to be huge because of him. It’s all his fault. Everything is his fault.” I knew that wasn’t true, but I needed someone to blame for my stupidity in not using protection. We weren’t teenagers.
How could we both have been so foolish?
I had only cared that I was on the pill at the time, but obviously that hadn’t worked for me. I never gave a second thought as to why I should still use protection beyond the pregnancy risk. Matt didn’t seem like the kind of guy who slept around, but even I knew, it only took once of sleeping with the wrong person to contract a disease. I’d since then been tested, and I was clean, thank goodness. Still, I hadn’t been that reckless ever. It just proved how hard I had taken turning forty.
And now I was paying the consequences.
“Interesting brooch.” Zoe joined us on our blanket. “I see you found your gin.” She winked.
“Gin?” Morti looked back and forth between the two of us.
I touched the red ruby H gemstone with the solid gold cape draped behind it. “I sure did. I took the insulting design my secret admirer sent me and gave it to my jeweler to make into something complementary.” I winked. “She custom created this for me and put a rush on it. Don’t you just love it?”
“Secret admirer?” Harm raised both her eyebrows and also looked between Zoe and me. “What’s going on?”
“I think she means whoever sent her the red H for harlot,” Zoe clarified, adding, “but I don’t think it’s much of a secret.”
“Oh, yeah, duh.” Harm slapped her forehead.
Gerty and Gabby Rogers walked by at that moment and gaped at my chest, their jaws falling open as they stared at my brooch. Giving me a dirty look, they stuck their noses in the air and hurried their way over to Sister Mary Agnes and Father O’Dority.
I could only imagine the earful they were giving them.
I waved.
“I just love you.” Harm grinned while shaking her head. “You don’t care what anyone thinks, Tiff.”
“Actually, I do.” I sighed. “More so as I get older. And being pregnant is making it worse than ever. I feel like I’m on the verge of tears all the time or I’m laughing hysterically at nothing. I feel like a crazy person.”
“Pregnancy hormones are no joke,” Zoe said.
“Want some food?” Morticia asked. “I thought you said you were hungry.”
“I was, but I suddenly lost my appetite.” I had no sooner said the words than I saw Matthew McGinnis headed my way with a heaping plate in his hands.
“Well, isn’t that just the sweetest thing.” Zoe clapped.
“The sweetest.” I tried not to grind my teeth.
I had told him I wanted him to be there for his children, not for me. He was already trying to take care of me. Why? The twins weren’t even born yet. What did he want from me? He definitely must have an ulterior motive.
“Ladies, Chaz, kids.” Matt nodded his head once at each of them, his dimples sinking deep as he smiled when his eyes locked on mine. “Tiffany,” he said, his voice making my name sound like a caress. He looked more handsome than a man had a right to as he leaned over and tried to hand me a heaping plate of food. “I thought ye might be hungry, and I haven’t seen ye eat anything since ye got here.”
“Thanks, but I’m not really hungry.” My stomach rumbled loudly.
He arched a shaggy blond brow high. “Really. Me wee babes must be talking already then.” He winked.
I rolled my eyes. “I can take care of myself, remember?”
He narrowed his. “And I plan to help take care of me babies, remember ?”
I gestured to the plate he still held in his big hands. “So, you’re saying that plate of food is for them and not me?”
He shrugged his massive shoulders. “Whatever it takes to make ye eat it, lass, then yes. None of the food is fer ye.”
I sighed in dramatic fashion. “Fine, for the sake of your wee babes.” I took the plate from him and dug in with more gusto than I had intended to show.
He laughed. “Nice brooch. What’s it stand fer?”
“Hero,” I raised my chin a notch, “because I am the hero of my own story.”
“I like that.” He nodded. “Well, I’d better get back before me cousin burns McGinny’s food truck down.”
I puckered my forehead and looked at the stage. “I thought your cousin was the singer over there.”
“He is. That would be Finn. He sings at McGinny’s Pub as well. My other cousin, Aidan, is helping with the food, though I don’t know if that’s a good idea or not. That lad hasn’t quite figured out his path in life yet.”
Have any of us?
Matt chuckled. “Let’s just say there are a lot of us.”
“Lucky you,” I said and meant it. I’d only had my grandmother, but since her death, I felt like I didn’t have anyone. The girls were an exception, but they weren’t blood.
“Lucky fer our babes, too.” He tilted his head in salute and then headed back to his food truck.
I thought about what he said. Our children would be very lucky indeed to have a big family like Matt’s in their lives. They would never have to feel alone or unloved or unwanted…ever!
Swallowing the lump in my throat, I needed a moment alone. I got up and walked over to the nearest trash can to throw my empty plate away. Empty? I blinked, just realizing I’d finished it all.
“Hi, Tiffany,” a soft voice came from behind me.
I inhaled a deep breath then turned around to face my birth mother. “Rita.” I looked behind her but didn’t see anyone. “I’m surprised to see you here alone. Where are Charlie and Tabatha?”
“Oh, they’re over in front of the gazebo. That Finn McGinnis is so talented. He’ll melt your heart with one song.” Her face brightened.
“So, I’ve heard.” I studied her. “What do you want from me, Rita?”
Her face fell. “What do I want from you?” She paused a beat, and I could see her throat working. “Everything,” she finally got out. “What do I expect from you?” She shook her head. “Nothing.” She nodded as if resigned to her fate. “What do I hope you will give me?” She looked me in the eye with sincerity even I couldn’t deny. “A chance to get to know you.”
I hesitated a moment. “You don’t want my money?”
Her face pinched with pain, and she shook her head hard. “If I had wanted money, I never would have defied my mother and married your father for love.”
“Love?” A sob slipped out. “You gave me away. Who does that?”
“It wasn’t like that,” her voice softened, “it was never supposed to be like that.”
“I don’t understand.”
“I know you don’t, but maybe it’s time that you did.”
“What are you saying?”
She shrugged, kicking the dirt ground with a worn, dusty sneaker before leveling her gaze back on me. “I heard you were pregnant with twins. Congratulations.”
I fought the urge to laugh at the irony of it all. “That’s rich. Kind regards for a woman who clearly didn’t feel the same way about her babies.”
“I probably deserve that,” she conceded. “But you don’t know all of it.”
It was true that I didn’t, but there was a part of me not that interested in hearing about it anyway. “Ever hear of too little, too late, Rita?”
“It’s never going to be the right time or place.”
“You’re right. Say your piece and get it over with.”
“My mother made me choose between her and your father. There was never any choice. I loved your father with all my heart. So, when I chose him, she cut me off. We would have been fine, but we got pregnant with twins. There was no way we could afford to care for both of you at the same time. I went to my mother for help. She took one look at you and somehow knew you were more like her than me. She made a deal with me. Let her care for you until we got on our feet, and then she would give you back to us.”
“Wait…Grammy made the deal?” My heart squeezed tight, and I felt like I couldn’t breathe. “I-I thought you did.”
“No, she made the deal…but I did say yes. I had no choice, but I honestly thought she would keep her end of the agreement.” Rita looked me in the eye with such despair and regret. “When I went back for you, she refused to give you back to me. She didn’t want the rest of us. You were the daughter she always wanted but never had. So, she shut me and her other granddaughter—your sister—out.”
I was already shaking my head. It couldn’t be true. The grandmother who was a mother to me couldn’t have kept me from my own mother…could she? I swallowed the lump in my throat. “I don’t believe you.”
“I understand why you don’t, but it’s true. The woman you knew was a far different person than the woman I knew. I was weak in her eyes. You weren’t.” Rita’s voice cracked. “We never would have agreed to the deal if we had known it would mean losing you. I just hope we haven’t lost you forever.”
I wiped away the tears now streaming down my face. “Why didn’t you fight harder for me?”
“She was too powerful. What could I do? I spent years trying to get her to change her mind and let me at least see you. Instead, she spent her life turning you against me.”
“This is too much. I can’t handle it. I guess you know everything.” I huffed out a breath and crossed my arms over my chest.
“I don’t know everything,” she said quietly, “but I do know a thing or two about carrying twins. I’d like to be a part of your life if you’ll let me. This might be my only chance to be a grandmother.”
I frowned. “What about Tabatha?”
Rita was already shaking her head. “She married young, right out of college, but her husband and daughter died when their house caught fire. They didn’t have a lot, but they were happy. Everything was destroyed. She never moved on and hasn’t been the same since. That’s why she’s so bitter and angry. You’re just her scapegoat, unfortunately.”
“I didn’t know,” I said softly. “When did that happen?”
“Fifteen years ago.” Rita shrugged. “She kept it pretty quiet. Your grandmother didn’t even know she’d married and had a child. Tabatha was hurt and angry at her for never wanting anything to do with her, only you. She didn’t want to share her own daughter, and after the tragedy, she didn’t want your grandmother’s pity.”
I was twenty-five and single then. I remembered having dreams of burning up in a fire. I would wake up sweating, feeling like I couldn’t breathe for months. It took months of therapy to get past that. I had no idea it could be a twin connection. My heart ached over the thought of what Tabatha must have gone through. Was still apparently going through.
“So, she’s all alone now?” I asked quietly.
Rita looked sad as she nodded. “At least she has us.”
I felt my brow pucker. “What about friends?”
“They had friends as a couple, but she avoided them until they gave up and stopped trying. She couldn’t handle any reminders of what she’d lost. Her job is pretty isolating, so it’s hard for her to meet people. She’s an artist, and a talented one at that. An illustrator for children’s books, but she works remotely. Her work has taken off, and she does well for herself now. She lives in a small apartment, and that works for her.”
“Well, I feel bad for her, but I don’t know what you want me to do about it?”
Rita stared at me for a long moment. “Not everyone wants something from you, Tiffany. Maybe we just want to be there for you with nothing in return.”
I shrugged. “Forgive me if I’m having a hard time believing that. People have always wanted something from me for my entire life.”
“Well, maybe it’s time that changed. Just think about it, okay?”
I slowly nodded. “Okay.”
“I’d better get back before your father starts to worry about me.” She walked away before I could tell her no .
For the first time in a long time…I wasn’t sure I wanted to.