5. Remi
five
Remi
Ihave nowhere to be today and I am treating that fact with the reverence it deserves.
It’s just past noon and I’m still in bed, laptop open, show playing, phone on my chest, and I have not moved in three hours.
The blinds are doing their job with keeping all of the light out and the pillows are perfectly arranged.
My comforter has achieved a level of warmth that I’m not willing to compromise for anything short of a legit emergency.
I’m halfway through the third episode of a rewatch I’ve done so many times I could recite it, which is exactly the point.
Nothing new, nothing that requires attention, just familiar voices and storylines that give comfort because I know exactly what’s going to happen next.
My brain gets to go somewhere quiet while my body does nothing.
My phone buzzes against my sternum.
I pick it up already knowing who it is because there is only one person I gave my number to last night. Cold_Saint messaged me again right before I logged out, said something that made me type my number in before I thought about it too hard, and just like that Ryan was in my phone.
still alive or did you finally manage to die in a video game
barely. it’s my day off and I’m taking it very seriously
what does that mean
it means I’m in bed and I haven’t moved and I don’t plan to
what are you watching
a rewatch. you wouldn’t know it.
try me
Gossip Girl
…
yeah yeah I know
okay but why
because I already know what happens and my brain gets to take a break
that’s actually the saddest thing I’ve ever heard
it’s called self care
it’s called giving up
it’s called SELF CARE
sure
do you have a rewatch show or are you just going to judge mine
I don’t rewatch things
ever
that’s a red flag
noted
what are you doing right now
What are you doing right now? As if I couldn’t come up with anything better?
working
doing what
construction. not interesting.
construction workers really do exist outside of Halloween costumes, wild
that’s what you got from that
I’m just saying. It's an unexpected detail.
what did you expect
I don’t know. something more sinister. you have villain energy.
villain energy
cold_saint? come on.
that’s a game handle
I put my phone down and my show keeps playing but I'm not watching.
The buzzer cuts through and I grab it immediately, which is pathetic and I don't care.
He's in my lobbies on purpose. The way he plays, the way he finds me, three times in one week.
And I'm about to text back like I don't have better things to do.
send me a picture
of what
you. bed rotting at noon. I want to see what that looks like.
absolutely not
why
because I look like I’m bed rotting at noon
that’s the point
I am not sending you a photo like this
like what
like a person who hasn’t brushed their hair since yesterday
I don’t care about your hair
umm I care about my hair
Remi.
He didn’t say ‘come on’ or ‘please’ or try to soften it at all. Just my name sitting there on the screen like that was enough.
I flip the camera and look at myself. Red hair everywhere, glasses on because my contacts are across the room and I’m not getting up, oversized shirt that’s technically Richard’s that I borrowed two years ago and never gave back.
I fix my hair before I take the photo. I told him I didn’t care and then I fixed my hair.
I take the photo anyway and send it before I can reconsider.
you wear glasses
only at home
you look good
your turn
my turn what
photo. you said you were working, let’s see it.
I’m covered in drywall dust
sounds like an excuse
it’s literally just a fact about my current situation
Ryan.
I send it and immediately feel like an idiot for doing the same thing he did, using his name like that, like it would work the same way. The three dots appear. Disappear. Appear again.
The photo comes through and I sit up a little because holy shit, he’s fine.
He’s outside, phone held up at arm’s length, and the sun shining on his face.
Dark hair, hazel eyes, a jaw that could cut something, and yes, there is drywall dust on his shirt and up one arm but mostly I’m looking at his face which is sexy as hell if I’m being honest. He’s aggressively good looking, like he didn’t have to try, and it puts my bed rotting photo to shame.
I save the photo and we're not gonna talk about why. My thumb hovers over it for a second and then I just lock my phone and set it face down on my chest.
This is stupid. He's a stranger I met in a game lobby who somehow convinced me to text him, and now I'm saving his photos like some kind of obsessed idiot. But my heart's still going a little fast and I'm not deleting it, so clearly, I've already made my choice about how stupid I'm willing to be.
okay fine. you’re not terrible looking.
not terrible looking
It's a compliment. take it.
coming from the girl who called me a stalker twenty minutes into our first conversation I’ll take whatever I can get
you WERE stalking me
pattern recognition
you’ve said that twice now and it hasn’t gotten more convincing
give it time
My show autoplay's into the next episode. I don’t notice until the intro music starts and by then I’ve already missed the cold open.
I get off at five. queue up tonight?
maybe
maybe
it’s a maybe. don’t read into it.
I’m not reading into it
I’m just noting that maybe is not a no
go back to work
yes ma'am
Gossip Girl keeps playing but I'm not watching anymore.
I'm staring at the ceiling thinking about a random guy I met in a Dead by Daylight lobby, how fast this spiraled, AND thinking about the fact that I'm already planning to queue up tonight like I don't have a choice in the matter.
The thing is, I do have a choice, I'm just not taking it.
Maybe is definitely not a no. So, what do I do… I queue up at eight.