Chapter Nine
Nikolai
She falls apart in my arms.
I feel it—the way her body trembles, the way her hands clutch at my skin like I’m the only thing keeping her tethered to this world. And maybe, in this moment, I am.
Dawn—sharp-mouthed, brave, curious Dawn—has spent too long holding this in. Too long with no one to lean on.
It guts me. It breaks me seeing her like this.
I’d give up everything I have to ease the grief she feels in this moment.
In just two weeks, she’s wormed her way under my skin—her quick wit, her stubborn fire, the way she curls her lip when she’s annoyed but doesn’t want to show it.
The sarcasm that hides her unease. The questions she won’t stop asking, even when she’s uncertain.
I used to see her as a distraction. Now?
Now I care more than I should, and I hate that she’s hurting like this.
I tighten my grip, pressing her closer. Her scent—vanilla and coconut, soft and fucking addictive—fills my lungs. I breathe her in, slow and deep, my fingers stroking slow, soothing circles against her skin.
She melts into me, her tiny body fitting perfectly into my lap and against my chest in a way that it makes something deep inside me twist.
“Shhh…” my voice is low, softer than I’ve ever fucking heard it. Softer than I’ve ever let it be.
She doesn’t pull away.
Instead, she presses her face against my chest, her breath hot against me. I don’t think she realizes how much of herself she’s giving me right now. How much she’s letting me in.
And that—that does something to me.
I lift her chin.
Her eyes are swollen, red-rimmed and glassy, but somehow even more of a vibrant blue from the tears. Her lips are parted, still trembling from emotion. She’s so goddamn beautiful it makes my throat tighten.
I swipe a tear from her cheek with my thumb. It lingers there, my touch resting against her skin. Soft. Warm. Fucking perfect.
She blinks up at me, and I don’t think.
I kiss her.
Hard. Deep. No hesitation. No restraint.
The salt of her tears, the heat of her lips, the quiet shattered sob that slips into my mouth.
She doesn’t resist.
She kisses me back.
My grip tightens at her waist, dragging her into me, onto me, until she’s straddling my lap. My hands curve over her hips, fingers flexing, feeling the warmth of her, the weight of her.
Fuck.
I tear my mouth from hers just long enough to look at her—her flushed cheeks, her swollen lips, her heavy-lidded, tear-struck blue eyes boring right into mine.
And I know I can’t stop myself.
I lean in, my lips ghosting along her jaw, pressing hot, open-mouthed kisses down the side of her neck. “Tell me to stop,” I murmur against her skin, my voice raw. One last chance to pull away.
She doesn’t take it.
Instead, her fingers tighten where they’ve been fisted in my hair, her hips pressing forward just slightly, barely enough to be a movement at all—but I feel it.
Fuck.
A growl rumbles in my throat as I grip her tighter, standing with her wrapped around me. She gasps, but she doesn’t let go. Doesn’t question it. Just melts into me, her body pressing against mine so fucking perfectly it makes my vision haze with hunger.
I carry her down the hallway and into the bedroom, my grip unrelenting, my control slipping.
I don’t put her down. I can’t.
Not when she’s wrapped around me like this—clinging, melting, trusting.
I kick the door shut behind us, the sound barely registering over the rush of my pulse.
Fuck. I need her.
Now.
I press her back against the nearest wall, feeling her breath hitch, feeling her fingers dig into my shoulders. “Are you sure?” I murmur, voice dark, rough, a warning.
She nods instantly, eyes wide, cheeks stained with the streaks of her tears, lips swollen from my kiss.
But I need to hear it.
I grip her chin between my fingers, forcing her to look at me. “Use your words, Miss Carter.” My voice is dark, the last shred of control I have forced into it.
Her lips part, her breath coming out shaky.
“Yes…” She whispers.
I smirk, but it’s not amusement. It’s hunger. Possession. “You have no idea what you’ve just agreed to.”
My mouth crashes against hers, taking ownership of it.
She tastes sweet and warm, just like I fucking knew she would.
I drag my lips down the curve of her jaw, down the delicate slope of her throat, letting my teeth scrape just enough to make her shiver. “Do you know how long I’ve been thinking about this?” My voice is a growl against her skin. “How many nights I’ve had to stop myself imagining you like this?”
She whimpers, her hips shifting against me, seeking friction.
I grin against her throat.
Then—I move.
I rip the dress up over her head in one swift motion, baring her to me except for one final scrap of lace.
I shove her onto the bed, her back hitting the mattress with a soft gasp, and I stand over her, taking in the sight. Bare skin flushed and soft, curves begging to be touched, marked, fucking claimed.
She tries to close her legs, suddenly shy.
I chuckle darkly, shaking my head. “Oh no, baby.” I murmur, gripping her thighs and dragging her down the bed, spreading her open beneath me.
Her breath catches, and I watch the way her chest rises and falls, her nipples tight, her lips parted.
I drop to my knees, kissing up her thigh and inhaling deeply, taking in her scent, the warm, heady sweetness of her arousal. “Fuck, angel, you smell so good,” I rasp, fingers sliding off her panties in a slow, tantalizing motion.
She shivers as I peel them down, my mouth following the path of the lace, teasing her soft skin.
She whimpers, hips twitching, aching for more.
Perfect.
I grin against her inner thigh, then drag my tongue through her center, lapping at her clit slow and firm, tasting her for the first time. My senses go wild, overwhelmed with her.
She cries out, back arching, hands flying to my hair.
I growl against her, gripping her thighs tighter, pinning her in place. “Easy, angel,” I murmur, the words muffled by the way I press deeper, tasting, teasing.
Her hips jerk, desperate and needy, and I chuckle darkly, tongue flicking against her swollen bud, like a meal I never intend to finish.
Fuck, she’s perfect.
Soft. Warm. Dripping for me, soaked with need.
I drag my tongue through her again, slow, deliberate, tasting everything she has to offer.
She whimpers, back arching off the bed, thighs trembling where I hold them apart.
“That’s it, angel.” I murmur against her, voice rough, lips grazing her most sensitive part before I suck it into my mouth.
She gasps sharply, a strangled moan escaping her throat. Her hands fist tighter in my hair, nails scratching against my scalp, her thighs trying to snap shut around my head.
But I hold her open, keeping her trapped beneath me.
“You taste so fucking good,” I growl into her as her breaths come faster and needier.
I lap at her in fast, devastating, perfectly timed strokes. She whines, and I feel her body tense up, her muscles coiling tight beneath my hands.
“You going to come, baby?” I press my fingers inside her, curling just right, stroking deep, relentless.
She cries out, body going rigid, shaking, right on the fucking edge.
“Come for me, angel. Let me taste you. Come hard for me.”
And she shatters.
Her thighs shake violently, her head tipping back, her mouth parting in a silent scream before the sound finally rips from her throat.
“Good fucking girl,” I groan against her, lapping up everything she gives me, dragging my tongue through the wreckage of her release, fucking her through it.
I pull back, my gaze locked on the way she’s still trembling. “So, fucking perfect, baby.” I breathe, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand as I kneel between her legs.
I pull my sweats off, freeing my aching cock, so painfully hard I almost can’t stand it.
Her breath catches, gaze dragging over my length, her thighs instinctively trying to press together—
But I don’t let them.
She’s soaked and messy from her orgasm, so fucking ready for me.
I drag my cock through her wetness, teasing her clit, groaning at the fucking heat of her. “I hope you know I’m not stopping now, angel.” I growl, my tip nudging at her entrance, pressing just enough to make her whimper.
Her eyes flick to mine, dark and desperate. “I don’t want you to.”
Fuck.
I push in, slow but firm, feeling the way her body stretches around me, struggling to take me in.
Tight. So, fucking tight.
Her fingers claw at my back, her breath hitching, a choked whimper slipping from her lips.
“Fuck, baby, you feel that?” I growl, my jaw clenching as I fight the urge to slam into her in one brutal thrust.
She nods, gasping, her legs twitching around my waist.
I watch every flicker of emotion cross her face—the slight wince, the way her brows knit together, the way her lips part like she's about to beg for something she doesn’t know how to ask for.
“You’re taking me so well, angel,” I mutter, pressing my lips to her jaw, her cheek, her temple, just to soothe her while she stretches to fit me.
She whimpers again, but this time, it’s different. This time, her hips shift, just slightly, seeking more.
And I fucking lose it.
I pull back and thrust into her.
She cries out, back arching, head tipping back, a breathless moan escaping her lips. “Oh my god—”
I grin darkly, teeth grazing her throat, hands gripping her thighs as I snap my hips forward again, hard enough to make her entire body jolt beneath me. “God’s not here, baby, but I am.”
She sobs out a moan, her nails digging into my arm, her walls clenching around me in a way that makes my vision blur.
I drive into her, slow and punishing, each thrust dragging a gasp from her throat and stealing the breath from mine.
The bed creaks beneath us, the air thick with the sound of skin against skin, my name falling from her lips in broken whimpers.
“Nikolai—”
“That’s right, angel. Say it again.”
She shudders, clinging to me like I’m the only thing keeping her grounded to reality. Her legs tremble, nails raking down my back, her moans turn desperate, incoherent.
“Nik—"
I feel her clenching, tightening, close—so fucking close.
I slip a hand between us, my fingers finding her most sensitive spot, rubbing tight, filthy circles as I drive into her harder, deeper, keeping the head of my cock angled to grind against that spot inside her that makes her breath hitch and stutter every damn time.
She gasps, writhing, her body locking up.
“Come for me, baby.”
She shatters again, her body clenched around me, a sharp cry ripping from her throat, her walls so fucking tight it nearly knocks the air from my lungs.
I groan deep, burying myself to the hilt, thrusting through her pleasure until my own finally breaks, and I spill inside of her, claiming her completely.
The world tilts, the crash so fucking intense it leaves me panting, gripping her hips so hard I know she’ll feel it tomorrow.
I don’t let her go.
Not now. Not ever.