6. Annalise
Chapter six
Annalise
"How's my favorite dragon today?" I ask an already annoyed Tyr.
"I would be better if you stopped talking to me like a damn dog," he snaps before extending his neck out for me to hold onto while I finally sit in the chair Korr brought outside for me first thing this morning when I told him I planned to spend the day with Tyr.
"Do they not think I'm capable of keeping you safe?
" he snarls as he shoots Korr and Kali a withering glare that would send most people running for the hills.
They have been pretending to have a very deep conversation about a hundred feet away since I hobbled out here thirty minutes ago.
"I'm pretty sure he just wants to make sure I don't try to run off since he said we 'need to talk' when I'm ready to come inside."
Tyr makes a sound that is suspiciously close to a dismissive snort.
"What?"
"Crawl you mean. Or is he really dumb enough to think you could actually run anywhere?"
"Rude," I say, but he's not wrong. I literally crawled to the bathroom to pee when I woke up this morning.
While I've been excused from classes right now, my friends weren't afforded the same leeway, and I refused to call for Korr and ask him to take me to the potty like I'm a freaking two year old.
I can feel the tension rolling off Tyr like a tidal wave, and I know it's as much from Korr and Kali pretending not to hover close by, as it is from not seeing me.
As I lean forward, pressing my forehead lightly against the side of his face, I feel the slow, deep rumble of his breathing shift beneath my touch, the bond soothing both of us instantly.
"Not that Korr would listen, but can't you go all Alpha on Kali and force her to give us some time alone?" My voice is almost pleading, and I ignore the fact that I sound exactly like the toddler I just claimed not to be.
"I've tried, but unfortunately, she is not from my horde so my orders aren't irrefutable."
“Oh…” The word slips out thinly. “I guess this means no practicing today.”
The disappointment hits me harder than it probably should, but I can't help the feeling of failure that sets in immediately.
“You can barely stand, Faren. Your body needs to heal more before it’ll be ready to shift again. You can’t pull when there is nothing to pull from.”
Nothing to pull from.
Because I’m weak.
Because I’m useless.
Because I’m not enough. I never have been.
The words don’t come from him. They come from somewhere older, somewhere with whiskey on its breath and a belt wrapped twice around a fist. They come from voices that bounce off cave walls. They come from the man I let in, only for him to remind me of my shortcomings.
I try to swallow, but it feels like I’m trying to force glass down my throat with every attempt. Great, adding what should be my body's involuntary action to the growing list of things I’m not strong enough to do.
“You know that’s not what I was saying,” Tyr interjects, but his words feel as pointless as my existence.
I couldn’t fight them off, even to protect my—
I take a shallow, shaking breath. My body may be mostly healed, but it doesn't feel like it. I feel like I’ve been stitched together wrong, hollow in places that should be full, weighed down in places that should move instinctually. Broken in a way that will never be healed.
I haven’t even been awake for twenty-four hours and I don’t know how I'll ever be able to exist like I did before.
“You almost died,” Tyr adds quietly. “It’ll take time for you to get back to full strength.”
I almost died.
But the worst part—the part I can’t say out loud—is that for a split second, when everything went dark…when it went quiet, I welcomed the peace. No screaming. No pain. No failing. Only silence. Just the sweet release of the death I knew was waiting for me.
Maybe that’s why standing on my own feels so impossible right now. Why my legs tremble like they don’t trust me. And why the thought of being alive feels like a new kind of—
“ENOUGH!” Tyr’s roar rips through the air, spit splattering across my face as my chair threatens to tip backward.
I don’t know when it changed, but as his rage and his pain cut through my thoughts, I instantly become aware of my own breaths. Far too fast, far too shallow.
My fingers are curled into my palms, nails buried deep into my skin. I deserve that sting. It’s sharp. Clear. Something I can understand.
“Come on, Annalise,” Korr says tentatively from a few feet in front of me, and I have no clue when he got here.
Tyr’s lips raise in warning, teeth bared as smoke begins to billow from his nostrils.
Kali moves to stand between Tyr and Korr, and I can practically see the tension hanging in the air.