Chapter 15
Elly is passed out well before I reach the bedroom, her body almost weightless in my arms. After pulling the covers aside, I gently lay her down on the bed, taking a moment to look her over. Worry gnaws at my insides, but my chest expands with relief at the absence of any visible signs of distress.
Nevertheless, a faint sliver of black magic coils around her, probing for any hidden injuries. I release a relieved breath when I conclude she’s merely exhausted from working on the wards and the recent merging of her innate magic with her newfound earth magic.
Despite this knowledge, the unnatural stillness settling over her body is unnerving.
With careful hands, I change her clothes, swapping the restrictive corset and dress for a nightgown.
Even though she’s still recovering from her last training session with Tomyla, she flatly refuses to leave the corset off.
I suspect it’s largely to spite me, as she didn’t even want to wear a pair of less constricting, boneless stays.
It intrigues me that despite the wide variety of clothes Elly now has access to, she remains true to her previous style. At least in part—she has started to combine her corsets and stays with modern women’s clothing. It suits her well, and I’ll gladly buy her whatever she desires.
Yet I wonder if she genuinely likes the clothes or if she finds it difficult to let go of this part of her past. They are the only remnants of her old life, and no matter how much I want her to leave it behind, I can’t force it. Besides, it’s just clothes. If she’s happy to wear them, then so am I.
I glance at her again and note that her breathing is light but steady.
A sigh escapes me as I run a hand through my hair and drop onto the chaise against the wall.
Some of my magic lingers around her, ready to alert me to any changes—good or bad.
Even though I know she’ll be fine and that I’ll return the instant something shifts, I can’t bring myself to leave.
That incessant pull in my chest won’t let me, anyway.
I wonder if she’s noticed how she’s slowly getting under my skin, burrowing her way into every part of my being.
I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to admit it out loud, but she’s far from a means to an end.
She hasn’t been solely that for a long time.
Looking back, I can’t even say if that’s all she ever was.
But I never could have expected she would affect me this deeply.
I never understood the bond that Alix and Désirée share, but now I’m beginning to grasp it.
For the first time, I feel like I could have that with someone of my own.
The idea is both terrifying and comforting, because part of me fears it will ruin her.
Then again, if she’s truly mine, she’ll let me—just as much as I can feel her ruining me.
So, I settle in to wait, however long it takes for her to regain consciousness. I’ll always wait for her.