Chapter 16 #2
Désirée nods. “Others will either become BBQ or burn to a pile of ash, depending on their age. Though even for us, there are limitations. Don’t put me on a beach on a bright and sunny day during the summer, because I will turn into burned toast.” She winks at me playfully. “And nobody likes burnt toast.”
I can’t help but giggle at the imagery this creates, and Désirée’s lips curl into a smile as well.
“How did you find me here? I thought no one came to this park,” I ask her after a moment.
“Your magic pulled me to you. I didn’t know you even had earth magic,” she says, carefully touching her cheek where the cut is already stitching itself back together.
“Only since a few days ago,” I reply, worry flashing in my eyes at the thought of having hurt her.
“Oh yes, you’re taking over for the coven, right?” I nod, and she adds with a smile, “Looks like it accepted you just fine.”
I find myself blushing at this and cast my eyes down to the ground, where a few small vines burrow themselves into the soil.
“I guess the tremors we felt the other night were from you, then?” Désirée asks.
I nod. “I’m still learning, so my apologies if it caused any problems.”
Désirée waves my apology away with a smile. “Don’t worry about it. No harm, no foul—especially when you’re the caster.” She winks, and I blush fully now.
That’s when I remember that both Désirée and Alix used to be earth witches before they and their coven became vampires.
“Do you maybe…” I hesitate, but I can already see Désirée’s eyes begin to sparkle. “Do you have some tips and tricks for me?”
Désirée squeals in delight at my words. “Yes! I loved teaching the younglings back in the day.” She practically jumps up and down in excitement before seeming to realize what she’s doing.
It’s her turn to blush as she straightens her dress with a little cough.
“Sorry,” she says, “got carried away there for a moment.”
I shake my head at her, and she hugs me again, giving me another peck against my cheek, accompanied by a massive grin.
Désirée starts to talk, sharing her knowledge about how earth magic works, what fuels it, and how to replenish it when needed.
She shows me how to use it to map my surroundings, the trick to pulling energy from every little piece of nature around me.
Even a stray leaf in the city can speak to me—become a part of me.
She tells me how easy it is to weaponize it beyond just my vines and gives me ideas to improve them later.
I spend the rest of the day in the park with Désirée teaching me, enjoying her passion for earth magic and her love of sharing knowledge.
It reminds me of my first days learning magic with Sophia, and an ache settles in my chest. I miss her, even though it hurts to know she was never as truthful with me as she made me believe.
She still didn’t deserve to die the way she did.
Her company and mentorship helped me get through everything that happened, and I’m sure I would have forgiven her if Isra hadn’t killed her.
I think of the few kisses we shared, soft and shy, and can’t help but wonder what might have come out of all of that.
If Malakai would have allowed it, that is.
I highly doubt he would have permitted me to follow up on that curiosity.
A shudder goes through me when I consider the possibility that it could have been a reason for him to kill Sophia himself.
“Ella.” Désirée’s voice filters through my spiraling memories of what-ifs, and I shake my head and look at her. “Are you okay?”
“Yes.” I take a deep breath. “Yes, I’m fine. Why do you ask?”
She gestures around us, and I gasp when I see that the ground is filled with beautiful small white flowers. “Lily of the valley,” Désirée says. “Beautiful, but they don’t bloom here.”
I gulp at how clearly I’m giving away my thoughts and emotions, glad that Désirée isn’t commenting on it further as I quickly make the flowers disappear.
“Sorry about that,” I say, wincing slightly.
“You want to talk about it?”
“Not really, no.”
Even as I say it, a memory resurfaces against my will, and I struggle to suppress the image of Sophia’s lifeless body on my bathroom floor before sadness can take over completely.
A shake of my head, and I find Désirée looking at me, realizing she asked me a question. “Sorry,” I apologize, feeling guilty for my wandering thoughts.
Just like that, Sophia disappears back into a far corner of my mind.
“Don’t be. Feelings are good, especially the sad ones,” Désirée soothes with a soft yet solemn smile. “They remind you why you’re doing this,” she says, looking around at the greenery that surrounds us. “Any of this.”
All of a sudden, I feel guilty. Here I am, mourning something that never was and possibly never could have been, while she’s so kind to help me with my earth magic—the very same magic that she lost and can never reclaim.
“I’m sorry,” I tell her, meaning it even more than before. “Was it…” I hesitate, unsure if it’s okay to ask. “Was it painful to lose your magic?”
Désirée touches her throat, turning away as she answers, “Nobody has ever asked me that before.” She stares at something in the distance, and I prepare to apologize for my question when she continues.
“It was the most painful thing to ever happen to me.” Her voice shakes as the emotions threaten to take her over, and I stand there unsure of what to do.
“Even though it gave me everything I ever wanted”—her lips curl into a soft smile, so pure and innocent and beautiful—“I sometimes can’t help but wonder if it was worth the price.”
She takes a deep breath, slowly blows it out, and then faces me again with a genuine smile, the last lingering traces of her sad nostalgia swiftly fading away.
That’s when I remember we had something in common in our previous lives: We were both unable to have children.
I can’t help but wonder if that changed her as much as it did me.
If she knew that by becoming a vampire, she would be able to after all—either by having them herself or by turning someone.
As a queen, was she ever able to share any of it with someone other than Alixandre? Or did she also have to become someone—something—else to find her peace? Perhaps one day I can ask her.