Chapter 19 #3
Malakai smiles at me as if he can’t believe I’m asking this. He puts his glass down, resting his elbow on the table and propping his head on his hand. “What do you think?” he retorts, mischief sparkling in his eyes as he gives me a smile that shows off his perfect white teeth.
“I don’t know. That’s why I’m asking,” I huff and clench my jaw, irritation settling in at his continued refusal to give me a straightforward answer.
Malakai shakes his head at me, and I roll my eyes in response.
“Going by how you were when we first met, I’d say yes.
But now that we’re out here”—I gesture around us—“you’re not as you were before.
Yet at the same time, I also don’t see you as a good guy because you’re really not.
So I don’t know.” I groan as I realize that I’m rambling.
“And clearly, I don’t know what the hell I’m talking about.
” The last part slips out before I realize it, a result of the wide smile he keeps giving me. “But in short, yes, I think you are.”
Malakai straightens up, seriousness returning to his posture. “Let me start by saying this: There is no good and evil. Only evil and worse.”
Upon hearing these words, I sink back in my seat, feeling a bit deflated but glad that I seem to be getting some sort of answer.
“Those who think they are good,” Malakai continues, “those who plead they are good, are just too stuck up to see that they’re not.”
He hesitates for a moment, his body tensing as something very close to fear flickers in his eyes, and I understand why when I hear his next words.
“My kind, the purebloods, are the original inhumans.
Some have roamed this earth since the beginning, alongside humans, and some even longer.
Just like humans, the purebloods would procreate, either among themselves or with humans, thus bringing forth the next generations of purebloods or half-breeds.
“As it always goes, there are those who deem themselves better than others. They see themselves as good and others as evil. They adorn themselves with pearly white wings and declare themselves godly and holy. Humans easily buy into this charade and start to call them angels. Those who don’t fit this picture thus become demons. ”
Malakai gives me a long, hard look while he takes a long drink from his glass. I remain silent, curious, and greedy to know more.
“These so-called angels… They torture, rape, and murder just as much as those they brand as evil. The difference is that we have the decency to see it for what it is—foul, monstrous, atrocious. They claim their actions are acts of good—to serve and protect.” He lets out a humorless laugh, his eyes unseeing as if remembering something.
“They’re the biggest hypocrites to ever exist.”
Silence hangs between us for a few moments, heavy with foreboding, nearly smothering me and making me squirm in my seat. “What happened?” I finally ask.
“The only thing that could happen,” Malakai answers while finishing his meal, still not looking at me. “Things escalated until they inevitably exploded.”
He thinks about his words for a moment, weighing what to tell me. I pop the last bite of my own food into my mouth, eagerly awaiting whatever he chooses to share next.
“My brother, Yblis, spoke up about the hypocrisy, and they threw him out.” Malakai looks at me, his jaw set in undeniable anger.
“He never fit their perfect little angelic mold, so it was the excuse they had been waiting for. Some followed him, others didn’t, but they were quickly stripped of their choice anyway. ”
His magic is nearly frantic as he continues to recall what happened.
“Then the rest of us who either didn’t completely agree with them or weren’t pure were purged—cleansed.
So we decided that if they wanted evil, evil is what they would get.
We truly became the demons to their angels.
Yblis was chosen to be king because even chaos needs some kind of order. ”
My heart clenches as I can’t help but wonder if Malakai was either kicked out because he didn’t agree or because he wasn’t good enough.
Either way, it looks like it had quite the impact on him.
My magic reaches out to him, to his magic, and he visibly relaxes when it brushes over him, offering the comfort he clearly doesn’t want to ask for.
Malakai takes a sip of his drink, lost in thought for a moment.
“But in the end, they weren’t all that different.
” He looks up at me, and I understand what he means.
“We generally thrive under rules and obligations, but after everything that happened, it became too constricting for some. For me. We broke the rules time and time again until Yblis decided someone needed to be made an example of. He knew I was the biggest troublemaker, so the choice was an easy one.” His posture changes then, so swiftly that it nearly gives me whiplash.
He goes from barely restrained anger to cockiness, but I still catch a well-concealed wince behind it all.
“Sleeping with his first wife probably didn’t help my case.”
I almost choke on my drink upon hearing his admission, spluttering and coughing from the burn of the alcohol. “You did what now?”
“Oh, please.” Malakai waves me off as if I’m overreacting.
“The whore of Babylon was nothing compared to her. She went through every man and woman in his court within the first year of their marriage. Rumor has it she even shared her bed with those related to her. I’m fairly certain my brother knew. ”
“That makes it okay?” I frown.
He shrugs. “Let’s just say there’s more than one side to a story, and some don’t bother to hear every side before passing judgment.”
Oh, there’s definitely something more going on, but the way his eyes dim briefly makes it clear he doesn’t want to indulge me in the details.
It stings that he doesn’t, and even though I know I should respect that, I can’t help the painful tightness in my throat when I try to swallow down that particular rejection.
Taking a moment to collect myself, I ask, “Then what? He locked you up and threw away the key?”
“Worse,” Malakai says, raising an eyebrow. “Those angels he despises so much helped him.”
My mouth drops open at this, and I almost wonder if I misheard. “What? Why?”
He shrugs. “Perhaps he realized he alone couldn’t hold me.
Perhaps he was afraid of what I could become if left unchecked.
Or maybe his wife confessed that I satisfied her better.
” He says this off-handedly, almost as a joke, but the way his jaw sets makes it clear there’s more to it.
I can only hope he’ll want to tell me one day.
“You asshole.” I laugh, my magic gently swatting him in an attempt to lighten the mood, pretending I didn’t notice.
“Hey, there had to be a reason.” Malakai smirks, his posture relaxing. “Either way, this—” He flicks his fingers, and an antique gold coin appears in his palm. The exact same one that I found hidden in a book.
He hands it to me, and I examine it, now seeing the magic woven into the coin. I recognize the emblem of the snake with the moon on one side. The other side is embellished with a raven and a rose.
“It was originally intended to be a promise of loyalty I was going to offer him the day he locked me up,” Malakai says, his voice hard as I hand the coin back to him.
“Then it became a promise of revenge. Now…” He goes silent for a fraction of a second, his mood sullen as he flicks his fingers, and the coin disappears once more. “Now it’s nothing.”
I understand his anger better now; it explains a lot. He was going to bind himself to his brother just to prove himself. Instead, he was thrown in a cell and locked away, without even being given a decent reason, let alone the chance to defend himself.
“Is there a reason you don’t want revenge anymore?” I wonder what made him let it go, thinking about my own brand of revenge.
Malakai leans back in his seat, casually topping off my glass as the bottle of Dead Man’s Drink runs dry. “Spend long enough in a prison like that and you start to reconsider many things.”
He gestures to the server, and the young man hurries to oblige. He brings over a new bottle and leaves it with us as he clears off the table. As he scurries away, I catch him looking me over again. Malakai sees it too and snarls as the man bolts back to the kitchen.
“I’m surprised you were able to put it behind you.” I fear that if I don’t keep him distracted from the server, he really will rip the man’s eyes out.
“Not completely, I’m afraid,” he admits with a sheepish smile. “I still resent him for it. But what kind of revenge could I even aim for? It’s not as if killing him is an option. I don’t want his throne nor his woman, so why would I even bother?”
Hearing him say it that way stirs something within me—a feeling I’ve had before that brings unease regarding my own choices and my own revenge. I lean back in my seat and bite the inside of my cheek, unable to stop my wandering thoughts.
Their deaths fuel our escape, but I never bothered to find out how many I actually needed. I never put a limit on it, keeping the curse active like a parasite that takes as much as it can and then some. It simply tingles under my skin every now and then as a sign that it has been fed.
What if I could break the curse without any consequences to us?
My forehead wrinkles and my stomach tenses as I slowly begin to see it all in a new light. As I start to doubt it all.
I can’t help but wonder if perhaps it’s time for me to let go.