Chapter 28 #2
“You shouldn’t keep her all to yourself, Father. Besides”—he shifts his gaze from me to Malakai, locking eyes—“I claimed her first.”
Malakai’s fingers twitch at this statement, magic sparking at his fingertips. “I suggest,” he begins, his voice as cold as ice, “you get out of here. Fast. And if you ever come close to her again, it will be the last thing you do.”
“Hmm, we’ll see about that,” the inhuman muses.
He turns away from Malakai and casually collects his discarded jacket from the floor, looking me up and down as he does.
“I meant what I said earlier,” he says. Malakai’s anger surges at their continued boldness. “I will have you screaming my name again, pet.”
“I don’t even know your name,” I retort, utterly unimpressed as I rise from the bed. But the tremor in my voice betrays me.
“Oh, you do. Let me remind you.” I do my best not to flinch as he leans closer, his lips brushing my ear. “It’s Nagamaru. But you can call me Naga,” he whispers, his forked tongue darting out to lick my earlobe.
This time, I can’t help but shudder. Nagamaru chuckles softly, stepping back as Malakai’s magic presses down on us. He winks at me as he passes, heading for the hallway while putting his jacket back on.
“It was lovely finally meeting you, Father. It’s clear why Mother chose you,” Nagamaru calls over his shoulder.
Malakai’s rage-fueled magic explodes right next to him. Nagamaru just laughs as he disappears.
Seconds later, the tension from his presence vanishes, and we both deflate.
I reach for Malakai, but my strength leaves me, and dizziness takes over.
He catches me before I fully collapse and guides me back into a sitting position on the edge of the bed.
Taking a seat next to me, he wraps his arms around me and pulls me in his lap, against his chest. I rest my head against him and lean into his warmth, letting it envelop me.
“You came for me,” I whisper, my voice hoarse and broken, my body shivering despite his heat.
Malakai tenses, then pulls me even closer. “Of course I did.” The words are soft and barely audible, and he sounds as weak as I feel. “I will always come for you, love. I promised to protect you, didn’t I?”
My heart clenches, and I squeeze my eyes shut, my fingers digging into the fabric of his shirt, nearly ripping through it.
The uncertainty I felt when he left—about myself, about us—threatens to overwhelm me once more.
Tonight’s events only amplify it, crowding my mind, my heart, my soul, making every part of me feel terribly fragile.
I don’t know if I can handle this right now, with cracks spiderwebbing over every part of my being, ready to shatter. So I simply nod.
We sit in silence for a moment until I finally muster the courage to ask, “Your child?”
Malakai groans, the vibration running through my body. “Not by choice,” he says with a sigh, pulling me away to look into my eyes, worry marring his golden irises, all traces of darkness long gone. “I hope that much is clear.”
I nod, understanding but still feeling a sting. Not only because he has an inhuman child running around who almost raped me, but also because he was close enough with someone to conceive a child with them—again.
It’s a kind of jealousy I didn’t expect and certainly don’t like.
It tells me that I’m clearly not over what happened to me—and perhaps I never will be.
Some would say that’s okay, but part of me wishes to move on, to let it go.
Despite this, I can’t help how it makes me feel—utterly and completely empty inside.
“Hey,” Malakai says, picking up on my thoughts. He takes my chin in his hand and raises my head to meet his gaze. “This changes nothing.”
I snarl at him and his reassurance. “It better not,” I bite back, pulling my head free from his grip. “I’m not going to pretend to be a happy family with someone who tried to rape me.”
“Ah.” Malakai smirks at my outburst. “Good to know where I stand.”
“What do you mean?” I cross my arms over my chest, my brow furrowing.
He leans closer, cupping the back of my head. “I mean that you’re admitting you don’t think I raped you that first time.”
Heat flushes my cheeks, and my mouth drops open as my arms fall to my sides while Malakai pulls me closer, squeezing my neck.
“I—No, wait, what—” I splutter, at a complete loss for words.
Then I fall silent, averting my gaze. Biting my lip, I think back to that moment—how I wasn’t sure if I wanted it, how I decided I didn’t, and how I felt violated afterward. How I still don’t know how I feel about it.
Malakai moves his hand to the front of my neck, under my chin, and uses his thumb to tip my face up to make me look at him. “Or do you?”
He looks worried, as if my opinion matters to him. Even though it doesn’t really, since we can’t change what happened anyway.
“I—” The gold in his eyes dims, and I realize it might matter to him. That even though it’s questionable if it was consensual, he wants it to be. “I-I’m not sure. At the time, I thought it was…”
There is no right or wrong answer—only what I feel is the truth.
Yet the way Malakai’s eyes dim even further makes my heart sink and knots my stomach.
We’re going to need to have a long conversation about this, about everything, at some point because this isn’t as simple as a yes or no.
But for now, I answer him truthfully, “I don’t think so, not anymore. ”
His eyes light up instantly, a wicked smile curling his lips that makes my heart race. “Good,” he purrs, “because I would do it again in a heartbeat.”
“Charming.” I huff, keeping my eyes locked on his, only slightly taken aback by the swift change in his mood.
“Oh, please,” Malakai says, forcefully tilting my head back to expose my throat to him. “You like me like this. Don’t try to deny it.”
“Get lost.” I slap his hand away, but he laughs and lets me. “Asshole,” I mumble.
A smile continues to play on his lips as he leans back on his hands and asks, “What did he mean when he said he claimed you first?”
“I, I don’t know.” I have a feeling—no, not just a feeling. I know. But saying it out loud is beyond me, especially with his touch still lingering on my skin and his scent fresh in my nose.
“I think I know them… I’ve met them before.
At the end of my previous life.” I fall quiet for a moment.
Some of the strain on my chest leaves me when Malakai doesn’t pressure me to continue, knowing very well which part of my life I mean.
I’m grateful for that—he allows me to choose my own time and place.
“We shouldn’t have let him go,” I whisper.
Malakai regards me as if contemplating his words. “Perhaps,” he finally says. “But his presence distressed you, and that was my priority. Thus, I acted accordingly.”
His thoughtfulness makes me blush slightly. “What if we can’t find him anymore?”
“Don’t worry about that.” Malakai leans closer and kisses the top of my head.
“What about him being of your blood?” My voice drops with the question, and I’m certain he knows why I’m asking.
“I meant what I said. If he harms you or causes you distress in any way, he’s dead.”
The look Malakai gives me wipes away any doubts I had. I wrap my arms around his neck, pulling him close, and his hands immediately go to my hips to get me even closer.
“Thank you.” I nip at his lip, and he groans. “For coming back when you did. For choosing me.”
Malakai buries his face in my neck. He inhales deeply, exhales, and then relaxes against me. “I’m exhausted.”
I chuckle, and then, right on cue, I yawn.
Malakai laughs in my hair, the sound muffled but warm.
He scoops me up in his arms in a single swift movement and steps out of the bed.
He pulls the covers away and lays me back down.
I take off the dressing robe and move to the other side of the bed so he can join me, pulling part of the sheets back up.
Malakai quickly undresses, removing his glamor as he does. He crawls into bed next to me, wraps his arms around my waist, and pulls me against his chest, his grip firm yet reassuring.
His magic darts out, turning off the light and shrouding us in darkness. We lie like that for a while, and another yawn escapes me.
“Mal?” I start after a few seconds.
“Hmm?” he replies, twirling a strand of my hair around his finger.
“His mother.” He stills behind me for a moment, then resumes playing with my hair. “She’s your brother’s first wife, isn’t she?”
He sighs softly. “Looks like it. I always thought my brother’s reaction to my… transgressions was extreme, considering how she slept around all the time. But now…” He doesn’t need to finish his sentence for me to know what he means.
A few heartbeats pass in silence before he adds, whispering, “I had no idea.”
Heaviness settles in my chest, knowing it’s the truth.
Malakai enjoys being in control too much, and I don’t believe he would want a child of his running amok like this.
I’m fairly sure he doesn’t even want children, precisely because it would mean giving up too much of that control.
The family being the only exception, since it was solely for the purpose of control, and he’s about ready to get rid of them now that they have seemingly outlived their usefulness.
Most of all, it’s the vulnerability in those words that leaves me unsure of how to respond.
“If I had known…” He swallows, then shifts his hand from my hair to my stomach, pulling me even closer. “You’re all that matters.”
His words break through some of my insecurity about me, him—us. He has a child he didn’t know about, yet he values me over that child. Hearing him say that means more to me than I can possibly express.
I close my eyes, my breath shuddering, wondering if everything I’ve been feeling, he’s been feeling as well.
I’ve closed myself off after what happened in my previous life, but that doesn’t mean I don’t still want to be that one special person to someone.
It’s just too terrifying to think about; too terrifying that I might consider someone to be that for me, thinking it’s mutual, only to end up discarded once again.
I can’t go through that again, so it’s easier to lock those hopes and dreams away.
And yet, this man has slowly been picking at that lock, and I don’t even know if he realizes he’s been doing it. Especially since I’m starting to think it’s the same for him—locking up the heart and throwing away the key.
I turn around in his embrace and place a soft kiss on his chest, right above his heart. “You’re all that matters to me too.”
A whispered confession, delicate and small, held out to him on trembling hands.
Malakai stops breathing for a second, and hope blooms in my chest. Then, barely audible, his voice filled with fatigue, he says, “Always.”
Tears nearly spill from my eyes as I repeat, “Always.”