Chapter Eighteen #2
Somewhere over the past half-hour, Cleodora had stopped snoring softly and now she was deathly still and quiet. She was breathing so gently that she was hardly breathing at all. It was the sleep of safety and comfort. He was feeling some comfort himself—and that was the problem.
He could feel himself already growing attached.
Gerard had tried to warn him. The man had opened up about a similar incident where he had nearly destroyed his career because of a woman and Aidric had been dismissive of his experience, convinced that it would not be his own.
It was strange because in the beginning, he had asked Gerard for his honesty in helping him identify his behavior were it to become destructive.
He remembered very clearly asking Gerard for that help, but when Gerard actually tried to help him, Aidric had been defensive.
He had to admit that he felt guilty about that.
“Are you awake?”
The question was muffled in his chest because Cleodora’s face was pressed into his flesh. He grinned, looking down at her.
“I have been awake the entire time,” he said. “But you, madam, have not.”
She lifted her head, her hair delightfully mussed as she smiled sleepily at him. “Nay, I have not,” she said. “My apologies. I suppose I was more exhausted than I realized.”
He had a big arm tucked behind his head while the other arm held her against him. His hand began to caress her nude shoulder gently.
“I think it has been a trying few days for us both,” Aidric said. “But I must be honest when I say that this situation—as we lie here in bed—was never my intention.”
Her smile faded. “What do you mean?”
He gestured to the bed. “I am still not entirely sure how we ended up here,” he said. “It was never my intention to take advantage of you.”
Her smile was gone. “You did not,” she said. “What happened… I wanted it to happen. If you did not, then my apologies. I hope you do not feel that I forced you.”
“Nay,” he insisted softly, reaching up to sweep some hair out of her face. “Of course you did not force me. But this may be a… problem.”
“Why?”
“Because I am not a man to bed women on a whim,” he said. “I tend to get attached. I spend so much of my time guarding my emotions that in a situation like this, it is difficult for me to control them.”
She regarded him for a moment. “Then this has happened to you before?” she said. “Getting attached, I mean.”
He debated whether or not to tell her, but saw no real harm in it. He was human. He’d made human mistakes in the past. “Aye,” he said. “Long ago to a young lady who was the daughter of my father’s ally.”
“Was it serious?”
He shrugged. “For me, it was,” he said. “I was young. And foolish. And hadn’t yet learned to guard my emotions.”
“She did not return your feelings?”
A smile rippled across his lips, perhaps an embarrassed one.
“She was a very ambitious young woman,” he said.
“She thought she could make me ambitious, too. She was a great manipulator and others could see it, but I could not. When I did not achieve what she wanted me to achieve, she found a man who had more wealth and a greater station than I. My father was furious about it.”
“At her?”
“At me.”
“But why?”
“Because I could not hold on to her,” he said. “My father very much wanted an alliance by marriage with that particular family and when it did not happen, he was disappointed.”
She thought on that for a moment. “Are you his only son, then?”
He shook his head. “I have two younger brothers,” he said. “And a sister, all of them married and with families.”
“Yet you have not.”
He looked at her, grinning. “Not yet,” he said. “I have been busy serving the king, something which has finally made my father proud. He likes to tell everyone that I have a royal appointment and personally serve the king.”
“But you do.”
“Aye, I do,” he said. “But my father, who is concerned with perception, likes to wave that appointment around like a banner.”
She snorted softly. “Then your father and mine have something in common,” he said. “Children they use for their own gain.”
He glanced at her, at the top of her white head, as she lay back on his arm.
“True,” he said. “But back to my statement about this situation we find ourselves in. My lady, I realize we have only known each other a few days, but surely you know that I have been attracted to you since the start. From the very moment I saw you in Adelie’s. ”
Her smile was back and she reached up, gently pinching his chin. “I think we are beyond formalities,” she said. “Please call me Cleodora. Or Cleo. I will answer to whatever you wish to call me. But calling me ‘my lady’ after we have shared a bed? That seems silly.”
His eyes glimmered warmly as he chuckled. “Agreed,” he said. “Your name is beautiful, as are you. But you are the Pearl.”
The joy in her eyes faded. “Do not call me that,” she murmured. “Please. I do not want to be called that.”
“And if I were to call you my Pearl?”
“Your Pearl?”
“Does that distress you?”
She grew serious. “I would like nothing better than to be yours, Aidric,” she said. “Truly, it would be the most delightful thing I can think of. But I will never be your Pearl. Your Cleo, mayhap. But not your Pearl.”
“Would you rather be my angel? You look like one, you know.”
Her smile returned. “That is much nicer.”
“Then my angel it is.”
She still had her hand near his face, now toying with his chin, tracing the edge of his square jaw. “The situation is very complicated for us,” she said. “I wish it was not, but it is.”
“More than you know,” he said. “In fact, before you accused me of thinking you had asked me to kill Cambridge for you, there was more that I wanted to discuss on the subject.”
She looked sheepish. “I did become angry, didn’t I?”
He grinned. “You did,” he said. “You are delightful when angered, but the truth is that I came to ask you something.”
“What?”
“You and I were discussing the death of Cambridge as a way to eliminate the threat against Edward,” he said. “I cannot get close to Cambridge to kill him. He would have his soldiers cut me down before I could get close to him, so my being an assassin does not make good sense.”
She had lain back down at that point, dropping her hand from his face as she gazed up at him. “I suppose not,” she said. “Cambridge has de Baume with him most of the time, and others. They would all be prepared to kill for him.”
“I know,” he said. “Much like Edward, who surrounds himself with an elite personal guard, Cambridge is also surrounded by protection. In situations like this, the only assassin who makes any sense is either someone who has never been a threat before or someone Cambridge already trusts. Someone who eats with him, lives with him. Someone he would never suspect. The very last person he would suspect.”
She stared at him for a few long moments, her pale blue eyes fixed on him. “Do you mean me?”
“It would be the most logical solution,” he said. “He would never suspect you. But I know you were opposed to killing the king, so if you are opposed to killing in general, I understand. You are a fine lady and—”
“I’ll do it.”
She said it so quickly, interrupting him, that it took him a moment to realize she’d said it. When he looked at her as if unsure whether she meant what she said, that it was simply a whim, she nodded her head and sat up, her white hair flowing around her like a gossamer cape.
“I will,” she said, nodding emphatically. “Tell me what to do and I will do it. Aidric, I could not let you do it. You were right when you said that his men would stop you. They would kill you. I could not live with that. But they would not suspect me at all.”
He reached up, gently stroking her cheek. “Your words are sweet,” he murmured. “You would truly be distressed with my death?”
“It would devastate me.”
“We cannot have that,” he said, still touching her cheek. “I would not like to be the cause of any distress to you. But you are very brave to agree. Very, very brave.”
Her features softened as she leaned into his hand. “No one has ever called me brave before.”
He snorted. “Lady, your entire life is defined by bravery,” he said. “It takes a very brave woman to become a Jewel. All of the training, the scrutiny, and that is not for the faint of heart. I am very proud to know you.”
She smiled. “Truly?”
“Truly.”
“Aidric?”
“What is it?”
“If Cambridge is no longer a concern, will you still help me escape?”
“If that is what you wish.”
“Will you come with me?”
“As your personal protector? Your savior?”
She shook her head. “Nay,” she said. “I… I am the heiress to Lerryn Castle. My mother was the heiress, and I suppose now that means my father is in the line to inherit when my grandfather dies, but when my father dies, it will belong to me. The title of Lord Lerryn goes with it, and if you… with me… You could be Lord Lerryn. I realize it is not much, but the lands are rich. It would be something all your own.”
He was trying not to smile. “Did you just ask me to marry you?”
That was as far as she could take it. Embarrassed, she turned around and tried to scramble out of bed, but he pulled her back in and covered her up with the coverlet, effectively trapping her. He wrapped his big arms around her, spooning against her as his mouth ended up by her right ear.
“I am a simple knight and you are the descendant of a siren,” he whispered.
“You are also one of the Seven Jewels of London, the most sought-after women in England. I remember thinking that you should be married to a prince or a great warlord because that is what you deserve, but if you’d rather set your cap for a simple knight who would worship you every day of your life, then the honor is all mine, my angel.
Truly, it is my honor that you should choose me. ”
She had stopped struggling against him, instead caving in to his warmth, deep, velvety voice. “I feel so foolish,” she said. “We have known each other so short a time.”
“What is your point?”
“That we hardly know one another!”