Chapter 38
JOSEPH
As tactics go, that was a cruel one, and if I thought Mom would cave, I was mistaken. The moment she deflected the conversation onto my problems; it was exactly the answer I needed. Somehow, Mom has the keys. But why?
It struck me almost immediately the minute I heard her friend’s name. Three friends, three sisters, and three keys. It’s a coincidence, and when I questioned my father, he didn’t appear concerned.
I suppose I should be grateful they are safe, but why did they lie to us? It doesn’t make sense.
As we empty the restaurant, I don’t feel bad about deserting my mother because I was right. We do have business to attend to, and I’m certain she does too.
As soon as we are in the car, Tiffany sighs. “That was harsh. Why were you so angry with her?”
“Why not?”
I turn, and my glare withers her smile.
“You told her about Su Yin.”
“I thought she knew. She’s worried about you.”
“She has no reason to be.”
“Doesn’t she?”
Tiffany shakes her head.
“You’re broken, Joseph. You are barely surviving, and only the visit from a Chinese woman appears to help with that.”
“Shut the fuck up!”
The noise inside my head is deafening me as images of my past crowd into the small space along with us.
“No, I won’t!” Tiffany yells back, her anger adding fuel to the fire as she hisses, “Tell me what it is. Is it Zac?”
“I said shut the fuck up!”
I almost scream my rage and slap my hand over her mouth as my eyes blaze into her frightened ones.
I press her back against the seat, and the sweat glides down my back as I shake inside, the knives carving away my humanity and exposing the beast inside me.
Images of that day play like a movie in my mind. Laughter, grunting, the throb of my dick inside a wet pussy. Squealing tires, gunfire, slamming doors and footsteps, yells, and angry words.
I’m falling apart with no soft landing, and as I stare into Tiffany’s innocent eyes, something breaks inside me.
I pull away and thump on the partition between me and the driver, and as the car stops, I reach for the handle and am off and running as fast as I can.
Her words wrapped around his name, pounding against my head as she forced him into our life, sitting between us. My sin, my guilty secret, my pain, and my shame.
Footsteps run behind me, and I can tell they are not the usual ones. The click of heels tells me only one thing.
“Joseph.”
Her soft voice reaches me, and with a howl, I turn and grasp her by the neck, slamming her against the nearby wall while glaring into her eyes.
“Don’t follow me.”
I make to drop her, and she snatches at my hand.
“Tell me, Joseph. What is so bad that you can’t talk about it?”
I notice the guards waiting at a respectful distance, always watching and waiting for something bad to happen. There’s a small alley nearby, and my mind buzzes. I back away, Tiffany lying against the wall, her expression a mixture of fear, hurt, and concern.
Another face replaces it. A sweet, innocent woman crying my name as I fuck her against the wall. Pushing me away as she ran for cover. Betraying me. Setting me up.
With a howl, I smash my fist against the wall, just narrowly avoiding Tiffany’s head, causing her to jump but not run.
“Tell me,” her words are soft, calm.
“Please, Joseph, whatever it is, I’m not going anywhere.”
I reach out and pull her close, my arms snapping like a steel clamp around her, holding her prisoner against me; she can’t run now.
I blink as the image of Sally haunts me, her bloodied throat seeping the life from her, the blade in my hand coated with her blood as I stare into her lifeless eyes.
Zac is by my side, always by my side, but he wears a demon’s wings now.
Always there, accusing me, blaming me, telling me he will never leave.
I see the massacre, the men I killed, bound and tied, hanging like carcasses before me.
Their blood dripping onto the concrete below, their guts hanging from their bodies, mutilated by my hand.
I see the frightened child I was as I hung from the ceiling, naked and bruised, a noose around my neck.
I see it all: the knives, the threats, the blood, and carnage, but most of all, I see my best friend dead at my feet. Because of me. Because I ignored instructions and because I thought I knew best.
Tiffany holds me tight, my head buried in her sweet-smelling hair, her voice soothing, calming me and promising she’s not going anywhere.
“I want to know it all, Joseph. Share your pain with me. We can help each other; we’re a team, remember.”
My hand clasps against her head, holding her to me, tightly, safe. We are surrounded by guards. Always watching, protecting, and anticipating. My eyes blur as the pain washes through them, my heart a constant ache inside me, reminding me it will never be whole again.
She’s shivering; it’s cold.
I shrug out of my jacket and place it around her, pulling her close to my side.
“Let’s go home.” I say, almost conversationally, as if I didn’t just freak the fuck out and nearly ruin everything.
Once again, we head to the car, my guards silent, always silent as they note the madness in their boss. I’m aware of my reputation. Nobody messes with me because I have no regard for emotion, no compassion left in my soul.
With a sigh, Spencer slams the door behind me, his concern evident in his expression, and I hate how well he knows me. He is always the one who bears the brunt of my frustration and will be angry it was Tiffany this time.
I’m aware he was against our marriage for this reason alone. Beauty and the Beast, for sure.
Perhaps it’s not too late to transform into her prince.