Chapter 43
TIFFANY
After a very surreal experience, we head home.
I’m still shocked about seeing my mother for the first time.
I didn’t expect that – expect her. She was nothing like I imagined.
I suppose I wanted to hate her, to feel nothing at all, but all I saw was a strong woman dealing with a life nobody would ever have asked for.
“Are you okay, angel?”
Joseph grips my hand like he did throughout the visit, and I was so grateful for his support.
“I don’t know.”
“It was a lot to deal with.”
“I still don’t fully understand why she is there. Surely, she could hide out somewhere better than that.”
“She obviously has her reasons. I thought the same at first. Why put yourself through imprisonment when you don’t have to?
Pretend to be crazy and hide behind a locked door.
Then I remembered who we are dealing with.
She saw her predecessor murdered and was aware of the promise to do the same to her.
Enrico was hardly a caring husband, and her wealth tripped her up throughout her life.
Sure, she could have hidden away in the mountains, a different country perhaps, but by locking herself away in an institution, she was hiding in plain sight. ”
“She could have gone back to the convent. I would.”
“Where she would be more of a threat? Think about it. Everyone thought she was the living dead. Drowning in alcohol and incoherent most of the time. Her father has given up on her, her husband carried on and her daughter had no idea if she was alive or dead. Her inheritance had moved to her daughter, so she has nothing of value to give. She was not worth the paperwork, or the attention her death would shine on the Sorcusis. Behind the scenes, however, she played a huge part in their downfall. I must say, her ties with Malik Karim are impressive. She is of benefit to him.”
“So, our mission is clear. Kill Morgan and free us all from the threat. Right the wrongs of the past by becoming the master, not the apprentice.”
I hate how hollow my words sound.
“I’m not a murderer, Joseph. Despite everything, I don’t have that right. I’m not like Eliza, not like you, and definitely not like Morgan. If I kill her, I am no better than her and don’t deserve to live a free life. How can this work? Because I already know I’m not up to the job.”
“But I am.”
He states, with a dark edge to his voice. “I have killed so many people, one more won’t add to my suffering.”
His words remind me of what he is and has been for some time and I should be terrified of that—of him. Somehow, I’m not.
“What happens now?”
The car feels safe as we speed down the highway. Taking the short trip to the airfield before we head home.
“We pack for Milan, but first we do something we’ve never done before.”
“What?”
He smiles and, slipping his arm around my shoulders, he pulls me to his side.
“We go on a date.”
“That’s the last thing I thought you’d say.”
For some reason, it causes me to relax, and I love how easy it is with him when it shouldn’t be.
“Where are we going?”
“For a meal, dancing, and then a walk along the embankment. London is particularly beautiful when the shadows disguise the imperfections.”
My breath catches as he turns my face to his, casually, with ownership, and kisses me softly. There is no sexual intent in this kiss, mere longing, affection even, and I wonder if Joseph’s demons are slipping away a little now he has opened the crack to their prison.
* * *
He is waiting in the library. I dressed in a turquoise pantsuit with discreet jewelry this time. Flat shoes and a matching purse, a cream faux fur coat wrapped around me against the chill of winter outside.
It’s a cold crisp night and the stars are out and as I meet him in the library, his dark intense gaze powers through to my soul.
“You are beautiful, angel.”
His beauty overpowers me every single time as I appreciate the finely crafted muscles to his face, his deep brown eyes and his strong jawline.
The muscles ripple under his black silk shirt, always slightly open, revealing the danger to my heart inside.
His hips are circled by a brown leather belt, his pants disguising the strong legs of a man who towers above me, even when I’m wearing heels.
Tonight, I am not and he appears a mountain before me, one I’m eager to climb, to witness its beauty, to marvel I am here at all.
He holds out his hand.
“Come, we will be late for our booking and I’m hungry after the long day we’ve had.”
“Same.”
I smile up at him loving his dark gaze, intense, always so intense and slightly unhinged. Unpredictable, raw power and protection wrapped in a decadent package.
We head to a restaurant that sits among the stars. Exclusive, modern and difficult to book.
Our table is by the window overlooking earth it seems and the atmosphere is intimate, the gentle murmur of our fellow guests just background noise to my heart racing every time I look at my husband.
“This is nice.”
I smile my appreciation because the intimacy, the location and the company is more than I might wish for.
“It is.”
“Why are we here?”
He leans across and laces his fingers with mine, staring into my eyes, commanding my attention.
“Because it struck me that we have never had a date. Not one you deserve, anyway. We know so much about one another, but I wanted to create happy memories to sit beside the unhappy ones. To balance them, cancel them out so we can focus on the good things in life rather than the bad.”
“Joseph.”
My eyes light with happiness as he kisses the back of my hand and his smile is almost hypnotic as he whispers, “I don’t want any secrets between us, angel.
I want us to be a team forever. If I ever cause you to want to leave, I would have failed at life.
Your mom’s marriage to your father was full of regrets, except for you.
My parent’s marriage is a genuine one full of love, and you deserve that.
I’m not my father, though. Loyalty is important to me, so there will be no other women in our marriage and definitely no other men. ”
“Not even Su Yin.”
I’m not afraid to bring her into the conversation. She’s a part of my life I have yet to meet and his eyes darken and his jaw tenses and I wonder if he is ready to let go of her yet.
“Rome wasn’t built in a day, angel. I can’t make that promise, not yet anyway. Su Yin is an important part of my recovery, but when she next visits, I want you to be there too.”
“In the room?”
I’m stunned, and he nods, gripping my hand tightly. “No secrets, remember. I have a long way to go and with your help as well as hers, I believe it’s possible to accept the past and move on.”
This time I kiss his hand and smile against the flickering candle between us.
“This may be inappropriate, Joseph and definitely against my better judgment, but excuse me for saying, I could well be falling in love with you.”
The sudden spark in his eyes is mesmerizing as he kisses my hand and tightens his grip.
His thumb rolling against the diamond ring on my finger, his attention all-encompassing as he whispers huskily, “I am afraid to love. To open my heart to the pain if it dies, if it is taken away, or if it chooses to leave.”
My heart crashes and burns, more out of sadness for him and he says fiercely, “I loved Zac with my entire heart and I never told him. Why would I? I love my parents, but love isn’t spoken of and as for my brothers, I kind of love them in an annoying way, but none of that compares to the way I could love you, Tiffany. ”
“Could?”
I catch my breath and he nods. “I am holding myself from falling and clinging onto the ledge because if I fall it will be a hard landing. My love is fierce, possessive and destructive and you do not deserve that.”
“Then I will wait patiently for you to figure it out.”
I shrug. “I only said I could be, anyway. Let’s not get ahead of ourselves.”
It’s important to lighten the atmosphere because Joseph is a complicated man who has many demons to slay before he can relax. I’m aware of that, but if the possibility of him falling in love with me is all I have, I’m good with that.
Our food arrives and we spend the rest of the meal in pleasant conversation.
We talk about the food, the surroundings, his life in London and mine in Switzerland.
We don’t talk about love, about murder, or retribution.
Tonight is ours. Just a normal couple enjoying each other’s company. The perfect evening. The perfect life.