35. Elizabeth
Thirty-Five
Elizabeth
I wake up in a haze next to a sleeping Kellen, a first for us.
The light has shifted, but I have no idea what time it is.
I roll on my side and smile at his sleeping form.
He is every bit the silver fox Lisa described him as.
I trace a finger along his sturdy jaw line, reach for his hair that used to be unruly and dark.
Now it’s clipped short and graying. I want to spend an eternity admiring his beautiful form, but I know Jake will be home soon.
I find my phone and see a series of messages from him, telling me something about a Brady crisis and he took the bus to his grandparents’ house.
Then he sent a few dozen photos of different robots that can apparently crawl inside pipes or fly up inside generators to complete safe, accurate inspections.
I dial his number and it rings ten times, an eternity, before he finally answers. “Mom?” He sounds like he’s clanging pots around the kitchen. I hurry out of bed to the kitchen, thinking on the fly, panicking.
“Do you need me to come get you, honey?”
“What? No. Grampa is giving me another code for a Roblox skin. From his cellphone service.” I hear another clang as I take stock of what’s going on. My son had an adventure with robots, took a bus to see his grandparents, and I got to spend an entire day in bed with a silver fox.
“Beltane Engineering is the place where I want to spend my life,” Jake tells me, rattling on about the computer servers and design software they have there.
“I’m so glad, sweetheart,” I tell him. “Did you want to talk about anything that happened in court today?”
He groans. “No. I want to tell you about the drones they have. Did you know I can get my drone pilot license and work for them this summer? The Bradys said they would hire me without an interview. If I passed the test. Can I have your credit card to register for the test?”
I laugh in delighted surprise. “How about we table that until I have time to settle down,” I tell him. “There’s just been so much today and—“
“Fine, ugh.” He makes another clanging. “I’m going to play Roblox here for awhile. Grampa wants to learn about Bee Swarm Simulator.”
I sputter a laugh, feeling a bit of the whiplash I’m used to when parenting this teen and realizing this is it. We get to work through these things together, every day, without worrying about an unreliable father throwing a wrench in his gears.
I pad back down the hall to check on Kellen and hear a persistent vibrating from the floor near my door. Brady crisis, I think, remembering what Jake said.
I stoop down to pick up Kellen’s slacks. “Kel,” I whisper, waking him with kisses. “You’re blowing up.”
“Ungh,” he groans, rolling away from me.
“What time is it?” I must have really worn him out.
I sneak over to his pants and pull out his phone.
“It’s about 5,” I tell him, smiling that we spent an entire day together entwined in my bed.
He must have had his phone on do not disturb mode, because all the messages seem to pour in at once.
“Kel, you have about 100 text messages and a bunch of voicemails.” I toss him the phone as he sits up, looking concerned. And then his face transforms into joyful elation.
“Maddie had the baby,” he says, showing me the screen. “Arlan.”
“Oh, that’s wonderful,” I squeal, reaching for the phone so I can look at the pictures Liam sent. “Is it ok if I scroll and look?”
“Yes! Scroll. How many did they send?” The two of us look over the pictures and read through the messages, laughing at the increasing levels of panic from Callum as he narrated Maddie’s labor via text.
“Does anyone mention how Maddie is doing? Isn’t her diabetes a risk during labor and delivery?”
Kellen frowns and keeps scrolling. “There are no updates after the baby pictures,” he says. He stands up from the bed, tapping at the phone. “I have to find out.” He looks anxious and fumbles with the phone a bit.
“Here,” I say, reaching for it. “Let’s call Nicole. Do you have her number?”
“Oh that’s a good idea,” he says and I see him open his family group text. He navigates to Zack’s girlfriend’s name and dials, then we both draw back from the phone as she squeals out a greeting to us.
“IS’NT IT AMAZING?? Oh my god, Uncle Kellen, you should see this baby. Wait. Why weren’t you there? You sly dog, are you with Neighbor Gal?”
He clears his throat. “Elizabeth needed a ride home from court this morning,” he tells her.
“Aw, that’s so great that you think I don’t know you were banging her all day,” she says. “I know exactly why Cal and Orla really whisked Jake off to Beltane after the hearing.”
I blush uncomfortably, hearing every word she shouts even though she’s not on speaker phone.
“Nicole,” Kellen interrupts. “How is Madison?”
“Oh, dude, she’s ravenous,” Nicole says.
“I’m at the bakery for her right now because she’s hypo.
” Kellen turns to me and mouths “diabetes jargon” as Nicole keeps gushing about Maddie and the baby.
“You should come to the hospital and squeeze that baby while everyone else is out getting food and shit.” I nod vigorously and the two of us plan to drive to the hospital.
I send Kellen home to shower and change so I can arrange for my parents to keep Jake for awhile, who is apparently roaring away teaching his grandfather to play video games.
He barely acknowledges my comment that I will be leaving him with his grandparents for a bit when they hand him the phone.
I hang up and quickly get myself ready and Kellen pops back into the kitchen, smelling fresh and looking excited.
“Maddie loves goldfish crackers and candy,” he says. “Can we stop at the grocery store on our way? To get her some?”
“I can help with this,” I tell him, heading into the kitchen. I open the snack cupboard and, like Vanna White, indicate the cornucopia of individually packaged snacks in there. “Behold,” I tell him as he cracks up laughing. “Jake’s approved school lunch supplements.”
“It seems like he and Maddie share a similar palate,” he says, as I shovel the snacks into a gift bag. We drive to the hospital and sign in, and I can tell Kellen is an anxious mess as we wait for the elevator. I squeeze his arm and steer him down the hall toward their room.
Liam looks up as we press the door open and his face lights up when he sees us.
“Uncle Kellen,” he whisper shouts. “Arlan is here.” Liam looks like he’s been awake for weeks, even though it sounds like the baby came quickly.
Liam has dark circles under his eyes, but the way he gazes at his family… he just radiates joy.
I feel my heart clench at the sight of this man, so enamored by his son and his beloved. “I’m just so grateful,” he whispers, and Kellen nods, tears in his eyes.
“I remember that, kiddo, looking down at Orla’s tiny body, the gratitude I had for her mother bringing Orla here to me.
” Kellen and Liam embrace and I’m overcome at the love in this room.
Before I can think better of it, I’m crying right along with them, grateful to be included.
I linger by the door, fiddling with the gift bag until Maddie looks over at me.
“Hey,” she says, beckoning. “Come see what I did!”
I approach the bed and offer the gift bag. “We brought sustenance,” I say, and then I realize Maddie is feeding Arlan. “Oh,” I exclaim as I see his jaw working hard. “Look at his wonderful latch.”
“Is this right?” She asks, reaching for the candy with one hand and fumbling Arlan’s head. “It feels right, but I honestly have no idea.”
I nod and lean in, stroking the baby’s ear and showing Maddie how to tell when Arlan is swallowing. All these years later and I can still remember just how it felt to have a baby attached to my body on the outside, depending on me for food.
“I feel it all the way to my toes, when he’s sucking like this,” Maddie says, and I nod. I feed her M&Ms while she focuses on Arlan and eventually, I look up to see Orla opening the door. She holds a bunch of balloons, and halts in her step when she sees me snuggled up cozy with Maddie and Arlan.
“Hi,” Orla says, hesitating. I drop a kiss on the baby’s sweet head and stand up.
“Hi, Orla,” I say, stepping toward her. “I’ll step out so you all can visit,” I say. But she shakes her head.
“No,” she says. “You should stay.” Orla gestures toward Maddie and the slurping baby. “You know more about this stuff anyway. We need your expertise.”
We convince Liam to head home and shower by telling him he needs to grab more chapstick and deodorant for his baby’s mother.
Maddie drifts off to sleep after Arlan finishes eating and my heart melts as I watch Kellen cradle the baby in the rocking chair, murmuring into his tiny head as he rocks his grand-nephew to sleep.
Orla is also watching and I smile at her. “He looks good in grandpa mode,” I say, winking.
“Oh, christ, please don’t start in on me about getting married,” she says, and I laugh.
“I would never.” The two of us sit in a sort of awkward silence as Maddie snores, her IV and monitor beeping rhythmically and Kellen rocks Arlan in time with its chorus.
I clear my throat. “Orla,” I say, “I just feel like I should tell you that I…well, I really care about your father.” She nods and shrugs.
“But I would never do anything to compromise the relationship you have with him.” She swallows slowly, stiffening.
“I can’t tell you how meaningful it is that you came to the hearing today.
And I know I could never replace your mother.
” I start babbling now, unsure what to say, but feeling like I need to communicate my intentions to this woman.
“I would never try to do that, either. But I hope that you and I could be...friends seems like maybe a weird word. But I hope you and I can be…something.”
Orla’s eyes brim with tears, and I’m taken aback because every time I’ve ever seen her she’s been so tough, so brusque.
“Thank you for saying all that,” she says.
“Your son is pretty amazing, and we were all happy to be there to support you two. Anyone with eyes can see that my dad is crazy about you.” I smile.
She sighs. “And if I’m honest it’s really nice having a woman around sometimes.
Like, an adult woman.” She gestures around the room.
“Maybe we can band together and balance out these farting cretons.”
“I’d really like that,” I tell her. “I like having a woman around, too.” Kellen looks up from the rocking chair at the two of us and I give him a small smile, which he returns.
Not long after, Nicole and Zack and Mick hustle into the hospital room and I find a corner of the room behind a curtain, running out of space. I feel the heat of Kellen’s body behind mine and he leans in to kiss my neck.
“Ready to head back,” he asks, and I nod. We walk to the parking lot holding hands and I lean my head on his shoulder.
“That was really special, Kellen,” I tell him, squeezing his hand.
“Well,” he says, “You’re really special to me. I’m so glad you were with me there to meet Arlan.” He kisses me on the cheek. “And I’m really glad you got to talk with Orla a little bit.”
I smile. “We’re a ways off still from going to the mall together, I think.”
He laughs. “Well, you know, she did help Jake with his electromagnetism homework the other week.”
My eyebrows shoot up in surprise. “I did not realize that.” I smile at the thought of my kid and Kellen’s daughter spending time together. Like maybe we really can form some sort of…
“I’d like to build a family with you, Beth,” Kellen interrupts my thoughts, stealing the very words from my mind and expressing them out loud. “I know it will be messy and loud and all of us will have to work hard to communicate our boundaries. But I’m all in.”
“Oh, Kellen, me too,” I tell him. I jump up into his arms as he spins me around in the parking lot, pressing his mouth to mine. I don’t know what tomorrow will bring, what new challenges Jake and I will face. But I know we aren’t alone in facing them.
We’re here, with this quirky gang of linear thinkers who all evidently love helping my son with his physics studies. As Kellen moans softly against my kiss and I press my body into his, I know that we can build something good together.
“Will you be my trellis, Kellen Brady?” I ask him, burying my head into his shoulder as he finally sets me back on the ground.
“I already am, Beth. Now take me home so we can wind our roots together.”
“Was that a euphemism?” I laugh as I unlock my car and he slides in the passenger seat.
“You bet your ass it was.”