Chapter 7 #3
She giggled.
The waitress returned with the bill, and Dean paid it, offering Vivian his hand as they stood. It was a gorgeous October day, the sun shining in a bright blue sky. The breeze off the harbor was a warm one, unlike the brutal kind that cut through Baltimore residents during most of the winter months.
Vivian lifted her face skyward, drawing in a slow, deep breath. “Going back to work is going to suck.”
He nodded in agreement. They were headed to the parking lot when Vivian pulled up short.
“Hey,” she said, pointing to the independent bookstore. “Do you think we could go in there for a few minutes? Belle’s birthday is coming up and there’s a book she wants. I planned to order it online, but I’d prefer to support an independent bookstore.”
“I have plenty of time,” he lied. Like her, he hated the idea of going back to work, and he loved his job.
They stepped inside, Vivian heading straight for the romantic suspense section, while Dean meandered around. He wasn’t much of a reader, something he always told himself he would change one day in the future when he had more time.
Sure, I will, he thought sardonically.
He stopped in front of a colorful display of children’s books.
Since the fall sports seasons—hockey and football—had started, someone had pulled together a collection of sports-themed books for kids.
He picked up a hockey one, flipping through the pages.
It was about a little girl learning to skate with her dad.
Pip would love it.
Dean started to put the book back, then glanced over his shoulder. Vivian was talking to one of the store employees. Venturing to the register, he bought the book before he could overthink it. The cashier had just handed him the bag when Vivian joined him.
“Find what you were looking for?” he asked.
She shook her head. “They don’t have it in stock, but they’re going to order it for me.” She gestured to his bag. “Looks like you found a book.”
“Just something for work,” he lied, uncertain why he wasn’t handing Vivian the book to give to Pip.
Part of him worried she might not like him buying something for her daughter.
After all, they’d only agreed to this one date—a secret one, at that.
Neither of them had mentioned going out again, though Dean prayed she’d agree to a second. And a third, fourth…fiftieth.
He closed his eyes briefly, telling himself to slow his fucking roll.
Vivian looped her arm through his as they stepped back outside again. Dean’s chest suddenly felt tight, too many things bothering him.
Vivian wanted them to keep this a secret, and while he understood why, he also felt compelled to stake a claim on this incredible woman.
It was an alpha, macho, primitive notion, one he had zero experience with, but it didn’t change the fact that he wanted her to be his—and he wanted the whole fucking world to know it.
Of course, that possessiveness wasn’t something he was sure he should give in to. Vivian had a daughter to protect, and Dean wasn’t sure he was capable of promising permanence. He hadn’t been able to offer it to Ellie and McKenna.
He’d spent over twenty years clinging to his independence, eschewing relationships over his career and his bachelor status. What right did he have to ask Vivian to risk not only her heart but Pip’s, on someone who’d gone out of his way to avoid commitment?
His inner thoughts were in the middle of one hell of a tug-of-war, and he didn’t have a clue which side deserved more muscle.
All he knew was that right now, he had a woman tucked against his side, making him feel happier than he had in years.
He was going to steal every second she was willing to give him.
Even though he suspected they came with an expiration date.
“I had fun,” Vivian said, once they were back in the car.
“So did I.”
As he pulled back out onto the street, he glanced over and noticed when Vivian bit her lower lip, before giving him a sheepish grin. “The only guy I ever dated was Phil, so I have no idea how to play this cool. I have no doubt you’ve dated plenty of more sophisticated women.”
Dean wanted to assure her that sophistication wasn’t something he looked for in a woman.
What drew him to Vivian was the fact she was so real.
What he saw was what he got with her. She was open and honest and true to who she was, and that was far more appealing than an elegant woman putting on a show, trying to be what she thought he wanted.
However, rather than say any of that, he asked for clarification. “What do you mean by playing it cool?”
“Would it freak you out if I said my favorite part of every day is our end-of-the-night FaceTime conversations?”
“Hard to be freaked out about something that’s true for me too.”
Something warm spread through Dean’s chest. Not excitement or lust but something quieter.
Something steady and content. Part of him had always believed fireworks were what made relationships special, and while he sure as shit had plenty of those going off right now, he discovered something even better.
Sitting in the car with Vivian, the windows rolled down, both of them listening to the radio, was pretty damn special too. So were the easy conversations, comfortable silences, and knowing exactly who he wanted to spend every lunch break with.
Whoa.
Every?
Vivian wasn’t the only one failing to play it cool.
He pulled back into the parking garage, slipping into a space before putting the car in park. Vivian was halfway to him before he turned off the ignition. Their lips met, the kiss filled with the passion he always felt from her. Vivian never held back anything.
He cupped her cheeks, turning her head slightly so he could deepen the kiss, adoring the cute little whimpers and hums she made.
When they pulled apart, he pressed his forehead against hers. “I want to see you again.”
“I’d like that,” she said, her hands resting flat against his chest, her fingers curling into the material like she wanted to pull it off him.
“I’ll look at my calendar as soon as I get back to the office,” he said, breaking his sentence with a series of quick kisses. “I’ll text and we can set up the next date.”
“Sounds good. FaceTime me tonight after the game?”
Dean nodded. “Absolutely.”
They shared another long kiss before Vivian reluctantly pushed away. “I have to get back to work.”
He did too. He was beyond late at this point, but he couldn’t make himself care.
“Talk to you later,” Vivian said, climbing out of the car. Dean watched as she made her way across the garage to the elevator. She gave him one last little wave as the doors slid shut.
As he sat there, Dean was no longer worrying about whether or not he should be with her. Instead, he was starting to wonder what forever might look like.
He sighed heavily, pushing that concept away. That was a dangerous thought. If the past was any indication, Dean didn’t get forever. He only got regrets.
Not to mention, Vivian hadn’t asked for more. He did. She’d asked for secrecy.
With that in mind, he grabbed the bag with the children’s book, stashing it in his glove box, suddenly aware he couldn’t give it to Pip. It would only confuse her, and he didn’t want to do anything to risk this casual, detached, not-forever affair with Vivian.
Funny how the three necessities—casual, loveless, temporary—he used to spout off to lovers who wanted more from him were now coming back to bite him in the ass.
Karma was an evil bitch.