Chapter 4
CHAPTER FOUR
The infant weighed almost nothing. Becsul stood motionless in the center of the cell, acutely aware of the small warm body pressed against his chest. The child had settled into sleep with startling speed, his tiny fist curled against the fabric of Becsul’s uniform, his breathing slow and steady.
Why does this feel so right?
The thought unsettled him with its intensity.
He had held infants before, back before the Red Death had swept through his people like wildfire, leaving empty nurseries and silent houses in its wake.
He remembered the weight of his sister’s daughter in his arms, and the way she had looked up at him with those curious black eyes, reaching for his face with clumsy fingers.
That had been twenty years ago. She was dead now, like so many others.
But this child… this human child…
Something fierce and protective surged through his chest, entirely unexpected and deeply alarming.
He barely knew this infant. He had no connection to him, no reason to feel anything beyond clinical interest. And yet every instinct he possessed was screaming at him to keep this small creature safe from any threat.
His tail patted the small back protectively.
Across the room, Melissa was eating with single-minded focus, barely pausing to breathe between bites.
Despite her obvious exhaustion, there was something about her that made it difficult to look away.
Her body was small and curved, her softness unexpectedly appealing.
But it was the sharp intelligence in those dark eyes, and the fierce set of her jaw that really drew him.
The way she’d positioned herself so she could watch him constantly, never letting him out of her sight even as she ate. Like a warrior.
She’s magnificent.
The thought slipped past his defenses before he could stop it, and his tail curled involuntarily towards her, seeking contact. He forced it back.
What is wrong with me?
She was a prisoner. A subject in an experiment he had only just learned about. She was terrified and exhausted and had every reason to despise him, and he was standing here admiring the curve of her cheek and breathing in her scent like some untried youth.
Focus. He was here to assess her welfare and ensure she was being properly cared for. Nothing more. But his tail had other ideas. It swayed towards her again, drawn by some instinct deeper than conscious thought, and he had to physically clench his muscles to keep it still.
She finished the last of the meal and sat back wiping her hands as her eyes returned to him, sharp and assessing.
“He’s still asleep.”
“Yes.”
“How long do you plan to stand there holding him?”
“As long as you need.” The words came out before he could consider them, too honest by half. His tail twitched again, straining towards her like a compass needle seeking north. She frowned at him suspiciously.
“And then what? You put him down, I take him back, and we wait for the next round of examinations?”
“If there’s anything I can do to improve your situation, I will.” He meant it. The conviction surprised him with its intensity. “Whatever you need. I’ll make it happen.”
“Except let me go.”
The words hung between them.
“Except that,” he agreed quietly. “That decision isn’t mine to make.”
“Convenient.”
“Truthful.”
She laughed, and the sound was bitter enough to make his chest ache. “Right. You’re just following orders. I’ve heard that excuse before.”
He wanted to argue, to explain the complexity of his position, but what would be the point? She was right to be angry and right to distrust him. His people were complicit in her captivity, no matter how uncomfortable that knowledge made him.
“What else do you need?” he asked instead.
“What?”
“You heard me. Within the limits of my authority—what do you need? What would make this more…” He searched for the right word. “…bearable?”
She stared at him for a long moment, and he could almost see her mind working behind those tired eyes.
“Fresh air,” she said finally. Her tone was flat, almost mocking. “I’ve been in this lab for weeks and on the ship for weeks before that. I’d kill for actual sunlight.”
“Done.”
Her eyebrows rose. “Just like that?”
“This facility has secure outdoor spaces. I’ll arrange access.”
“With guards watching my every move, I’m sure.”
“With me watching. I’ll take you myself.”
He saw a crack in the armor of her hostility, but it was quickly hidden, and she looked away, her jaw tightening.
“Fine. What else?”
“What else do you want?”
“A change of clothes. Something other than the clothes I’ve been wearing since I was taken or a hospital gown.”
“I’ll see what can be found.” His tail was moving again, sliding towards her before he caught himself and jerked it back. Stop it.
“And something to read.” Her voice had gone quieter, almost wistful. “Books. Datapads. Anything. My brain is going to rot if I don’t have something to occupy it besides staring at these walls.”
“That may be more difficult. We will not have anything in your language.”
“Then teach me yours.” She met his eyes again, and the challenge in her gaze made his pulse quicken. “You said anything. Did you mean it, or were those just pretty words?”
“I meant it.”
“We’ll see.”
The child stirred against his chest, making a small snuffling sound, and he adjusted his hold instinctively. The movement brought him a step closer to her, close enough that his tail finally achieved its goal and brushed against her side.
She flinched, and he froze.
“Sorry.” He pulled back immediately, horror washing through him. “I didn’t—that wasn’t—”
“Your tail.”
“It has a mind of its own sometimes.” The admission felt like stripping himself naked. “I apologize. It won’t happen again.”
But even as he said it, he could feel the appendage straining towards her, desperate for contact. It was taking all his discipline to keep it curled behind him, away from her.
What is happening to me?
She was watching him with an unreadable expression. “Does it do that often? Try to touch people without your permission?”
“No,” he said roughly. “Never.”
A brief flicker of curiosity crossed her face and he could see her filing the information away, adding it to whatever profile she was building of him.
“Interesting.”
He didn’t trust himself to respond.
For a moment, silence stretched between them, broken only by the infant’s soft breathing. Then she leaned forward, her hands clasped between her knees, and pinned him with a look that made him feel like a specimen under examination.
“I have one more question.”
“Ask it.”
“Why was I brought here?”
He had known this was coming—had known since the moment he walked into this room that eventually she would demand answers. He just hadn’t expected the question to cut so deep.
“You deserve to know.”
“Yes. I do.”
He looked down at the child, still sleeping peacefully against his chest. This child, born of a human mother, growing up in the middle of an experiment that might be their last hope. And the female who had been torn from her home and everything she knew, treated like a vessel rather than a person.
She deserves the truth. All of it.
But where did he even begin? With the Red Death and the empty cities he’d flown over? With the dwindling population and the desperate measures? With Dr. Pagalan’s forbidden research and the Council’s reluctant approval?
His tail lashed restlessly, and then he forced himself to meet her eyes.
“My people are dying.”