Chapter 2
Willow walked into a quiet house. All the lights were out and of course, Charlie’s car was nowhere in sight. She figured he was mad at her for staying out so late and was trying to get even.
Any other night, she would have called his phone a dozen times until he answered, but that night, Willow didn’t bother. She was reminded of her worth and held her chin up high as she went upstairs to shower before bed.
While the hot water poured over her, she thought about the change in her marriage. Why was he always gone? Had he always been so secretive? Where was he really spending all his time?
Marriage was something that should be cherished. Something sacred and enjoyable. She knew it wouldn’t always be easy, but she didn’t think it would be this hard.
On her wedding day she had felt on top of the world and vowed to let nothing get in the way of that feeling. No matter what she did, or how hard she tried, that feeling was long gone.
In the blink of an eye, her shower went from an empowering moment to a very sad and lonely one. She wanted to call him and find out where he was, ask him to come home, but what was the use?
He never answered her calls anymore, especially when he was out in the middle of the night. Over time, as badly as Willow wanted to believe her husband was being faithful to her, it got harder and harder to believe that was the truth. None of her friends’ husbands were working past midnight. The only thing that made it somewhat believable that he was at work was the money he brought home. It was enough to keep her sustained, keep the bills paid, and allow her to be a stay-at-home wife.
Being home all day wasn’t Willow’s first career choice, of course, but Charlie saw himself as a traditional man who wanted his wife to stay home and keep up the house all day. It was so unbelievably boring. She assumed it was because they’d have kids and she’d have a real purpose, but every time she brought it up, he shut her down saying that he didn’t have time to raise a child.
After her shower, instead of going to bed, Willow threw on her robe and went into the storage room of their house. She took down a box that held all of their old memories; photos from their wedding and honeymoon, paintings from when they first started dating. Old clothes and shoes they wore on nice vacations.
Why can’t we get back to this? She teared up as she stared at their wedding photo, her arms wrapped around Charlie’s neck as he was wearing his most charming grin. We were so happy. Look at our smiles; how vibrant they were. This was one of the happiest moments of my life.
She hoped that looking through all their old memories would make her fall in love with Charlie again, but the deeper she dug, the more disconnected she felt. She did want to be in love again…whether or not Charlie was a part of that. Her parents had been married since before she was born and neither of them ever thought about leaving each other. She thought things would be the same for her. She was wrong. Her marriage turned cold and gray.
She started to wonder if Charlie ever really cared about her or if their marriage was only a sham. But why? Why would he feel the need to marry her? She didn’t have tons of money saved or a huge life insurance policy that was worth killing for. Unless he took one out on her that she didn’t know about, Willow saw no real reason for him to fake his love for her. He was happy at one point, right?
I don’t want to believe this was all a lie. Why can’t he just talk to me and tell me how he feels?
Her mind wouldn’t let her rest that night and there were no signs that Charlie would return before the sun came up. Instead of lying in bed crying her eyes out until they were swollen and she couldn’t see, Willow took to the kitchen and opened a bottle of wine.
She was still a little buzzed from the cosmos earlier that evening, but not enough to rest her thoughts. After a few sips, her mind shifted from Charlie to Carlos. From Carlos and back to Charlie. She wondered what it would be like if she had married someone else. Someone like Carlos.
A charming man who cared to get to know her. Someone who shared the same love for crab cakes and subtle moments as she did. Someone who seemed to be more open to exploring other avenues and letting her take the lead sometimes.
Ugh! This is terrible. She chuckled at the thought. I can’t believe I”m sitting here lusting over another man right now. What is wrong with me? I know Charlie loves me, he has to. I mean, he did marry me. So then, why is it so hard for him to show me?
It was well after three in the morning when Willow decided to call her best friend, Brandi. She knew Brandi would be awake. According to her, it was when she got the most work done.
“What are you doing up? Is everything okay?”
Brandi answered her call, thinking something was wrong since Willow never called so late. She was used to her being in bed by nine and up before the birds started chirping.
“Yeah,” Willow sighed. “I can’t sleep.”
“Is Charlie not home again?”
Brandi’s questions made Willow feel terrible. She hated how familiar her friend was with the problems she had in her marriage. It wasn’t Brandi’s fault; it was hers because she complained so often these days. But it was the only way she ever got any peace in her own life.
“Is it that obvious?” Willow chuckled. “I have no idea where he is tonight. I haven’t even called him to find out.”
“Ugh!” Brandi scoffed. “I don’t know why you continue to deal with him, Willow. You’re too beautiful of a woman to put up with someone who clearly doesn”t want to be married anymore.”
Willow wondered if that was the problem. Charlie never told her he didn’t want to be married anymore, but he did act that way.
“I don’t know,” Willow said. “Am I a total idiot? Am I holding onto something that never should have happened in the first place?”
“Well, I can”t speak on that, but you know how I feel about Charlie. I supported the wedding because you’re my best friend, but I”ve been telling you there’s something off about that man for years.”
It was the truth; from day one, Brandi expressed a keen dislike for Charlie. He never did anything to her personally… there was just something about him that she didn’t like.
“I wish you would let me do a background check on the guy so I can tell you for sure what it is I don”t like about him.”
“Please don’t,” Willow laughed. “I don’t want to ruin what little hope I have for us right now. Every day that hope withers away a little more, though.”
Whenever she and Brandi chatted, they always talked about her marriage. That made Willow feel terrible, too. Willow realized she rarely asked Brandi anything about her life or what she had going on in her own love life. It made her feel selfish and self-centered.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “I hate that we only talk about me each time I call. What’s been going on with you? Any new boyfriends I don”t know about? Seems like I”ll have to live vicariously through you if I want any excitement.”
“Nothing too extravagant,” Brandi said. “I’m working on another big case at the moment. Hopefully, I can pull this win. You should come visit. We can have some girl time. I think it’ll be good for you to get away from home for a while. It could do you some good. You know, remember who you really are.”
Willow thought about taking a trip to see Brandi. It had been a while since she’d gone to the beautiful beaches of Sanibel Island, and she loved it there.
“I don’t know…” Willow said. “There’s a lot going on right now. I don”t want to make things worse between Charlie and I.”
“Screw Charlie!” Brandi scoffed. “How long has it been since you’ve done anything for yourself? You’re always saying he never takes you out or wants to do anything with you. Why can’t you do it for yourself? Come on, it’ll be fun. You can have the entire cottage all to yourself for as long as you want.”
Brandi lived in a large beach house that had its own guest cottage off to the side. It was incredible. It was right off the ocean and caught the best breezes at night. The place was such a joy. Brandi even rented it out to tourists sometimes during the summer.
“You know you want to come out here,” Brandi egged her on. “We can go to the tiki hut you love so much. Have fun on the beach, flirt with tanned topless guys. Well, I can do the flirting. You don’t have to,” she laughed.
“You’re making it so hard to say no,” Willow laughed, too. “I do love that cottage of yours and I really could use some time on the beach.”
“Then it’s settled. You’re coming out and I”m not taking no for an answer. So, pack a bag, leave Charlie a note if you want and drive down tomorrow. I’ll send you some money for the road trip. Talk to you tomorrow. I gotta get back to work.”
“All right, all right, fine! I’ll call you before I hit the road tomorrow. Love you. Get back to work.”
When their call ended, Willow finished her glass of wine and hauled herself off to bed. For the first time in a long time, she felt some sort of excitement in her life.