Chapter Fourteen #3
She set her phone down and looked at me, eyes bright, cheeks rosy from the sun and probably how hard she was smiling.
“Dex let me join one of Sequest’s Discord servers.
And it’s Sequest, so it’s legit. No weirdos.
They have a bunch of them for different demographics or whatever.
This one is for fourteen- and fifteen-year-olds.
It’s basically just a bunch of gay kids sending memes to each other and ranting about how shitty school is. It’s awesome.”
“That’s…” I swallowed hard. “That is awesome.”
“There’s this one girl, Mae. Her mom died a week after Dad.
She’s so cool and we like a lot of the same music, except she’s super into screamo, which is like…
” She rolled her eyes, pulling a face. “But anyway, she wants to hang out when we get back home. Do you think I could? Dex knows her, so she’s for sure not a creep. ”
“Yeah.” I blinked hard and forced a smile. “Of course you can.”
“Yeah?” Her eyes lit up. Everything lit up. “Oh my god, I can’t wait. Maybe she could sleep over soon-ish?” She hesitated, scrunching up her nose. “I’d have to fix my room first. It’s still full of boxes.”
She was sprinting toward that new normal everyone told us would arrive and it knocked the wind from my lungs. I’d nearly given up on hoping for better days, let alone that Phoebe would choose to share them with me.
“First thing,” I said, emotion swelling in my throat. “First thing when we get back, we’ll fix up your room. We can even paint, if you want.”
She leaned her shoulder into mine. “Thanks, Vi,” she said and stole another fry. “Wanna go swimming? The pool here is so nice. You can just sit on the edge if you want to wait the thirty minutes after eating. I know you’re weird about that.”
“It’s not weird. It’s science.”
“It’s an urban legend.” She swiped yet another fry and hopped to her feet. “Come on.”
“Okay,” I said. “I have to get changed. I’ll meet you there.”
She offered a little salute and left. The moment the door shut behind her, I shut my eyes and focused on my breathing so I wouldn’t cry. Then I got up, got dressed, and went down the hall to Dex’s room.
“I saw you buy those fucking floaties at the gas station,” he was saying as he opened the door. “So, no, I don’t want to—” His mouth snapped shut at the sight of me, eyes widening.
And I couldn’t say anything, so I stepped forward and wrapped my arms around him in a crushing hug.
He didn’t stiffen, like I thought he might. Didn’t push me away gently and tell me it was a bad idea for us to be this close. Once the bolt of shock passed, his hand found my back, rubbing soft circles between my shoulder blades.
“Vi,” he murmured.
“Thank you,” I said into his shirt. “Phoebe told me what you did. She’s making friends, and she’s making plans. Things to look forward to when the trip is done. You have no idea, Dex. You have no idea.”
His other hand cradled the back of my head and I squeezed my eyes shut, pretending just for a moment that I’d get to be held like this by him every day.
“I should’ve mentioned it to you first. I was going to.”
I forced myself to step away, swallowing hard as his hands fell to his sides. His eyes swept over my face, full of some emotion I couldn’t quite read. “I get it. You knew I’d be okay with it, especially after I told you how I feel about moving her to Boston.”
“She likes Boston. She just needs a community of kids her own age, away from school.”
“I should’ve thought of that.” I rubbed my eyes. “I should’ve taken her to the YMCA or something.”
He made a face. “She wouldn’t do that.”
“Right. She’d hate that.”
“I figured this was more her style. And these kids…” He let out a breath, his expression shifting into a reverence that twisted my organs in a knot. “Every one of them is in a similar situation. And they’re good kids, Vi. They were handed a shit hand, just like you and Phoebe.”
I wanted to kiss him. No, I wanted to shove him in his hotel room and drop to my knees and make him feel good because he deserved it.
This man cared so much, despite how hard he pretended he didn’t.
He offered to drive home the teenager who opened his mail because she had a blister, and he humored her grief-stricken sister with the patience of a saint, and he devoted his life to making the lives of LGBTQ+ youth easier.
He wasn’t an asshole. Not even close.
“Anyway,” I said, so I wouldn’t move in closer, “I just wanted to say thank you. And invite you to swim, but you already answered that one.”
He scratched the back of his neck, offering a sheepish smile. “She snuck some of those kid floaties into the snacks we bought at the gas station earlier, thinking I didn’t notice. She’s a piece of work.”
“She’s the best.” I smiled and took a step backward, inclining my head in invitation. He followed without hesitation, letting the door shut behind him. “You’re wearing the floaties.”
“I’d rather drown myself.”
He fell in beside me. I’d missed him, I realized. I felt at home beside him and it had been so long since I felt anything, anywhere. Why did it have to be him?
We stopped in front of the elevator. Dex coughed.
“Stairs,” I blurted, and he was nodding before the word fully left my lips. “We should take the stairs.”