Chapter 36
THIRTY-SIX
‘So, it’s all been going on up at the Balhennie Inn, eh?’ Briony asked as they sat down at a table in the wine bar.
‘You could say that, yeah.’ Sorrel took a big glug of red wine and closed her eyes as its pleasurable sweetness made her head tingle. ‘Oh, my goodness. I needed that.’
‘What on earth happened? Your text sounded pretty desperate.’ Briony chuckled. ‘Seriously. Are you okay?’
Sorrel had texted Briony the night before, asking to meet for the drink they’d mentioned when they’d met at Muriel’s. She’d felt in need of a friend who wasn’t an ex-boyfriend or one of her family; she needed to decompress.
‘I’m okay. It’s just been a lot.’ Sorrel was relieved she and Catriona had finally talked. She already felt lighter, even though it had only been a week ago, but everything was still going to take a lot of getting used to.
Portree was the main centre on Skye, though it was really just a village.
Tourists came there for supplies, to go on boat tours, to go to one of the handful of pubs and restaurants or take in the views.
The famous view that everyone wanted to take pictures of was of the pretty, multicoloured houses on the harbour side: a terrace of pink, yellow and blue cottages faced the harbour.
The wine bar that they sat in was around the corner.
She was slowly repairing her relationship with Catriona; they’d had a couple more talks, and Catriona had had her first appointment with a therapist. It would be a long road for her, but Sorrel was grateful that she’d been brave enough to begin it.
Haltingly, she began to fill Briony in on everything that had happened: meeting Malcolm Sinclair; her sisters finding out that she wasn’t Angus’s biological daughter; her relationship with Catriona.
‘I love her. It’s just that… I suppose we have to rebuild trust. It’ll take time.
’ Sorrel let out a long breath and poured herself another glass of wine.
She’d drunk the first one way too fast, but the relaxed feeling was nice.
She needed to unwind. Sorrel didn’t feel as though she’d relaxed since she’d got to the island – and for years before that.
‘Wow. Yes. I can see that.’ Briony sat back in her chair. ‘You know, I’ve driven past that archery place so many times. Wild to think that’s your real dad.’
‘Well, Angus is my real dad. But yeah, I hope that I can have a relationship with Malcolm too one day. I want to see where it goes.’
‘For sure. That’s good. Healthy.’ Briony shot her a thoughtful look. ‘Repairing relationships is hard. Good on you, though. Some days I don’t want to adult at all. I just want to pull the curtains and stay in bed.’
‘Gah. Me too. Regularly.’ Sorrel chuckled. ‘We should start the Stay in Bed Club. Normalise resting for women who are too busy and stressed.’
‘We could be sponsored by a bed linen company.’
‘Have a manifesto: Order pizza. Invest in bedside coffee machines. Listen to audiobooks. Write in our journals. Do not feel guilty for sleeping.’
‘I love this. We should, I dunno… Start an Instagram account or something.’
‘Ha. Maybe we should.’ Sorrel let out a long sigh.
‘You know, I really just needed to get away from the castle and the Inn. I love my family, but all my sisters are fighting, because of me, and it’s tough.
I can only do one thing at once, you know?
I feel like I’ve started to repair my relationship with Mum, but now, I don’t know how to bring my sisters together. Bluebell and Violet are upset.’
‘Yeah. Families are a lot.’ Briony took a sip of wine. ‘I don’t know what to suggest. I’m an only child, so… I guess, the only thing you can ever do in these situations is talk when people are ready.’
‘I know. But Bluebell won’t talk to me, and Violet’s away abroad, so it’s difficult to talk to her. I just feel as though the family’s split apart. And the Inn, of course. Everything’s broken.’
‘The Inn’s being renovated. And at least things have improved with your mum. So, maybe everything’s getting fixed,’ Briony said, sounding positive. ‘You have to have hope. Otherwise, what else do we have in this life?’
‘You’re right. I’m sorry.’ Briony had endured so much, and yet she was still so kind.
‘No need to be sorry at all. I know how these things can be.’ Briony sipped her wine. ‘What about Simon?’
‘He’s gone.’ Sorrel sighed. ‘You know what? It was actually good that he visited, even though I didn’t ask him to come.
It helped me to see for sure that he and I shouldn’t be together.
’ She shivered, thinking about the moment when Simon wouldn’t let her out of the car.
She hadn’t heard from him directly since: no more text messages, no more Simon telling her that he wanted her back.
Everything had been going through the solicitor, and Sorrel was relieved.
‘Well, that sounds very adult, too. Though I have to say that I thought you’d got back together.’ Briony looked surprised.
‘What?’ Sorrel had taken a sip of her wine, but she almost snorted it out through her nose. ‘No, we very definitely have not.’
‘Oh. Tam said you and Simon had made up. He assumed you’d be leaving again.’
Sorrel felt for the stone heart in her pocket and held it tightly.
‘No. Not at all. Simon came up to try and make it up with me. I refused.’ That was the extremely short and uncomplicated version, Sorrel thought.
‘Oh. That’s not what Tam thinks is going on.’
‘What does Tam think is going on?’ Sorrel asked, tension starting to gather in her stomach.
‘I mean, I have to say he’s been really horrible to me.
I’ve tried to talk to him; I’ve tried to tell him what’s going on between me and Simon, but he’s completely withdrawn.
He won’t let me. In the end, I just got really cross with him. ’ She sighed.
‘He said he saw you and Simon kissing in a car, outside the castle. I’m sorry that he’s been rude to you, but I fear that’s Tam protecting his heart.’
‘Protecting his heart? Do you know what happened between us?!’ Sorrel leaned across the table.
‘We… we were intimate together. And then, the next day, he completely blanked me. He wouldn’t even drive me back from where we were.
Just gave me the keys to his truck and told me to get on with it.
I tried to talk to him, about Simon, but he wouldn’t have it.
And Simon and I weren’t kissing at the castle.
I didn’t even want him to be there, but he sweet-talked me into having a conversation about getting back together.
I told him no. At the point where Tam thinks we kissed, I was actually fighting him off.
He was being really creepy. Tam thinks we’re back together? ’
Briony nodded. ‘I have to say, I thought it all sounded very romantic, the B Sorrel could see a field with a couple of horses to her right.
She was reasonably familiar with Portree; she’d had friends who had lived here in the past. But she’d forgotten a lot: the names of the streets, the directions from here to there.
‘I thought the two of you might be an item. Why did you never get together?’ Sorrel asked as they walked. It continued to rain; her hair was getting wet, and a trickle of water rolled from her scalp down her cheek.
‘Tam and I are really good friends.’ Briony’s expression was earnest. ‘When Brian died, he was amazing. He listened to me cry. Looked after Alex when I needed a break. Took me out for coffee. But it’s never been anything other than friendship.’
‘Why not? You obviously like each other. I can’t see why you wouldn’t… you know,’ Sorrel said. ‘I know you’re friends. Tam explained it to me. But, still.’
‘Look, Tam’s a great-looking guy. And he’s kind, and he’s a great friend.’ Briony shook her head. ‘But I just can’t think of him in that way, somehow. And anyway, even if I did, he doesn’t fancy me. I’m not his type.’
Sorrel frowned. She didn’t remember Tam having a particular ‘type’ at all.
‘He has one type, Sorrel,’ Briony said, slowly, as if she was speaking to someone who couldn’t hear very well. ‘And it’s you.’
‘What?’ Sorrel glanced at her friend.
‘I don’t know how to say it in any clearer way.’ Briony shrugged. ‘I thought you knew.’
‘How would I know that?’ Sorrel’s voice got louder in indignation.
‘Because he spends literally every time he sees you looking at you like a lovesick puppy?’ Briony said, exasperated.
‘Or how about the fact that he dropped all his other jobs to go and work on your parents’ inn, despite not knowing for sure that they’d be able to pay him?
He did it because he’s so bloody loyal to the idea of you.
Even now, your family are still a priority to him.
Or the fact that he’s missed you for every single day of the ten years you were away and never contacted him once?
’ Briony fixed Sorrel with a stern gaze.
‘I swear, Sorrel Balhennie. I don’t know how you managed to get that house renovation business to be so successful, because god knows, you’re dense as a brick. ’
‘Wow. Harsh.’ Sorrel chuckled. ‘But, yeah, I know… I just feel like I’ve spent my life getting the wrong end of the stick. It’s a talent by now, I guess.’
‘Ha. Yeah, maybe. Listen. He can’t not love you.
It’s just part of who he is.’ Briony stopped in the street and put both of her hands on Sorrel’s shoulders.
‘So, you see, even if anyone else did fall for Tam Blackwood, it’s pointless.
Because there’s only ever going to be one woman in his heart. And it’s you.’
‘He never… I mean, he did tell me that he was intending to ask me to marry him when I left the island. But he never got the chance.’
‘Uh-huh.’ Briony nodded. ‘He was devastated. He had the ring and everything. He was too nervous that night. He thought he’d work up to it. And then you disappeared.’
‘But I didn’t know!’ Sorrel protested. ‘And that was ten years ago!’
‘It doesn’t matter how long ago it was, hen. The heart wants what it wants.’ Her friend sighed. ‘The nights I’ve listened to him talk about you. And since you’ve been back, he’s talked about nothing else.’
‘What? Why didn’t you tell me?’ Sorrel was aghast.
‘He asked me not to,’ Briony replied, simply.
‘He didn’t know whether to tell you how he felt or not.
He didn’t know if you were just going to leave again.
He said if you left again he didn’t think he could bear it.
I get that. Although I have no clue what he finds so irresistible about you. ’ Briony smiled, winking at Sorrel.
‘I get it too.’ Sorrel felt awful. She had broken Tam Blackwood’s heart, and her own. She’d spent years believing that there was nothing left for her except a stone heart and a life she didn’t really want. ‘What can I do?’
‘Talk to him, if he’s still here.’ Briony sighed. ‘It’s not hard, hen. You both love each other. For god’s sake, allow yourselves to be happy at last.’