Mindi
I sat in my small office at the community center staring out the window. Sarah had gone over to see Gracie for another sleepover after she’d had her appointment with Noah.
I took a sip of tea and stared at the paper application in front of me. I had to be out of my mind thinking that they’d ever look at me as a viable option for Sarah. I picked up my pen and slowly began filling out the top section when I heard a knock on my door.
“We’re finished. Going to head out now, unless there is something else you need,” Ethan said, stepping into my office.
I looked up and saw Noah in the hallway, his back to me. He hadn’t looked at me since the morning he’d left, which stung more than I wanted to admit.
“I’m good. Have a good night.” I sighed.
“Everything alright?” Ethan asked with a slight frown on his face.
“Fine. See you later this week.”
Ethan nodded and then turned to leave but stopped again. “Oh, before I forget, you are still coming for dinner tonight, right?”
I let out a deep sigh, debating telling him I wasn’t coming, then thought about the broccoli casserole I’d worked hard to make that morning and changed my mind.
“I’ll be there,” I answered.
“Good, we will see you then.”
I watched as Ethan turned toward the exit door, followed by Noah, who I’d have thought would at least wave, or poke his head in and tell me how things went with Sarah, but there was nothing.
Again, he didn’t even look in my direction.
It was as if I didn’t exist. He hadn’t said a word to me the entire week.
I looked down at the paperwork in front of me. I didn’t know what I was even thinking when I printed the adoption application off the website to keep Sarah with me. Yet, here it sat. I took my time, thinking through each of my answers before I wrote a word.
When I had finished, and I was confident with everything I’d written, I flipped the page.
My heart sank as I read the next part. They wanted references — five of them.
They were specific—not only character references, but one of them had to be from the military, which wasn’t a problem.
Ethan had agreed, but the other was going to be difficult.
They wanted a reference from a therapist, one who knew me, and one who had talked to Sarah, one who would look at the situation without bias.
There was absolutely no way I could ever ask Noah to be a reference now. He wouldn’t even look at me. Hell, we’d slept together, and he wouldn’t even give me a chance to explain what he’s seen.
My heart sank, yet I calmly filled each one of them out, then slipped the pages into my fax machine and sent them off, praying that I’d hear something before Christmas.
The moment the fax had gone through, I grabbed my bag and took off over to Ethan and Peggy’s for dinner.
I pulled into the driveway at Ethan and Peggy’s house and slid my car in behind Trinity’s, cutting the engine. I looked at the house, taking a glimpse at the tree that was lit in the large front window, and softly smiled.
This really was my favorite time of year, but this year I’d struggled to find some sort of Christmas spirit.
I’d spent most of the week hiding out at home, trying hard to put Noah to the back of my mind.
Seeing his face as he stared at that card that morning, after the feelings I’d just experienced with him the night before, had haunted my dreams.
I gathered my purse and the broccoli casserole and climbed out of the car, careful not to slip on the ice, and made my way over to the door. I was just about to knock when the door opened and Ethan stood there with a smile on his face.
“Hey, Mindi, come on in,” he said, reaching for the casserole dish I was carrying.
“Thanks,” I said, stepping inside and placing my purse on the hook followed by my coat.
“Hey, Mindi,” I heard from inside the house. “Come on in, grab a drink and join us.”
I looked at Ethan, slipped my shoes off, and then followed him into the kitchen.
“How are you doing?” he asked, looking at me with concern as he poured some punch into a cup for me.
Ethan knew something had happened between Noah and me, but I didn’t tell him the entire story.
“You okay, kid?” he questioned as he slipped the casserole I’d brought into the oven to warm.
“I’m not sure,” I muttered, my vision blurring just as Peggy, Trinity, and Thomas came into the kitchen.
“Mindi, sweetheart, what is it?” Peggy asked, coming straight over and wrapping her arms around me.
“Oh, you know, just life.” I sniffled, hugging her back.
“Is it Sarah?” Trinity asked.
“Yes and no,” I said, grabbing a napkin and dabbing my eyes. “I put my application in tonight. That was what I was working on when you stopped by my office.”
“That’s wonderful,” Thomas said, sitting down beside Trinity.
“Yes, but that shouldn’t bring on the tears.”
“It shouldn’t, but it is. There is no way I’ll get custody of her. The application wanted five references.”
“My dear, certainly we can find another one.”
“Absolutely, anyone in this community would stand up and recommend you,” Ethan added.
“That’s the problem. They don’t want just anyone. They want an approved counselor.”
I watched as they looked at one another and then turned to me.
“Mindi, do you forget you have a military-approved counselor working for the center?” Ethan questioned.
I looked at them. I knew they were all going to wonder why I was so worried when he was right; we had a military-approved counselor working for us. There wasn’t any reason I should be worried or upset.
“Mindi, what is going on?” Peggy asked, taking on the tone she had when her motherly side came out.
“Did you talk to him?” Ethan questioned.
“About what?” Trinity asked.
I looked at Ethan and let out the breath I was holding.
“It’s not that simple.” I sighed.
“What went on between the two of you?” he asked. “I noticed there seemed to be some tension between the two of you.”
As I looked around at the concern on all of their faces, I knew I would have to tell them the entire story, so I picked up my drink, took a sip, and then began, telling them everything.
“So, to answer your question, I haven’t talked to him because I don’t think we’ll ever speak again.”
“I don’t think you need to worry about that. I mean, look at Thomas and I.”
“Yeah, we were separated for years, and she wasn’t easy to get back when I returned.”
“Oh, please.”
“Did I tell you that she tried to poison me with chicken and dumplings?” Thomas said, smiling and then winking at Trinity.
“If you aren’t careful, I will make that for dinner tomorrow night.”
I couldn’t help but giggle as everyone laughed and then turned to me.
“Communication, my dear, is key. Give him some time. He is probably struggling with everything. Then take your time and explain things to him. I promise you, it will make a difference,” Ethan added.
“Yes, and talk to him about Sarah and the application,” Thomas said, reaching over and patting my shoulder.
I looked at them and smiled.
“Thank you for listening. I don’t know what I’d do without you guys.”
Peggy made her way over to the oven and began pulling out the dishes, setting them on the island.
“That’s why you don’t have to. Now let’s dig in, shall we?” Trinity said, bringing over a stack of plates.
“Yes, let’s,” I said, grabbing the silverware jar and placing it on the island as well.